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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Is it unfair of me…

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:41 AM
  • 10 Replies
In 3 days I'm suppose to be getting married! We set this date all excited about it and unexpectedly I got pregnant. Then 2 days ago I found out I'm having a miscarriage :(

Is it unfair of me to tell my fiancé (who is still very excited about getting married) that I just don't feel good enough to get married right now? I'm so depressed I feel so alone and empty inside. I'm not sure I can put on a happy face and get through a wedding right away after this.
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by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jessica11r
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:56 AM
2 moms liked this
Your wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. If you don't think it can be right now then maybe you should take some time. That being said if you have already invited the guests and such I would just think hard before you decide to call it off. The wedding could be a blessing and help I'll you through tho horrible time. I'm so very sorry for your loss. There is no wrong choice here it's just one that you and your FI need to come to together. I will be thinking of you.
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MommaBoop922
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:39 AM

Im sorry for your loss.  I agree with the pp that if you arent feeling ready then it should be up to you whether or not you want to go through with the wedding but if this is a big wedding and you are already expecting guests and have other things that went into it, you may find you are bringing more stress by cancelling.  If your family and friends are all around they may also be able to help you get through everything.  I would sit and have a long talk with your fiance and make a decision you can both be happy with.  Im so sorry again and I wish you luck with whatever decision you decide to make! ((HUGS))

Hiddensoul
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:49 AM
Thank you for your advice, no its not a big wedding.
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:56 AM

I am very sorry for your loss :(  I don't think it's unfair of you to feel that way...maybe you can talk to him, and you guys can help each other and support each other through, whether that means postponing or not.   Good luck Hun (((hugs)))

kfroz0415
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 12:00 PM
As long as it isn't a large wedding that will cause a lot of commotion, then no I don't think it's unfair.

Personally I would want to postpone too since I would not want the days say close together since I still feel sad on the two days I miscarried.
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Hiddensoul
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 1:55 PM
The fetus has not passed yet and I'm still in a lot of pain, I'm tired, depressed, and suppose to be getting married in 3 days. I'm not even sure that it will pass by my wedding? When I was at the hospital on Aug. 2nd the baby still had a very very faint heartbeat (there was almost nothing) and it was still attached.
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nmartin15
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2012 at 7:57 PM

I am so very sorry that this is happening and I would definitely cancel. If you havent completed the miscarriage yet you are not going to want to go through with the wedding. Having recently miscarried I can tell you that the processs was painful and very sad. I couldnt imagine it happening to you on your wedding day. Talk to you fiancee and I am sure he would agree to postponing the day until after this has passed. Again sorry.

xoNIKKIox
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:22 PM

I agree. If you are in pain and emotionally distraught, then postpone. However, think about whether the wedding would bring you some comfort.

If your wedding involves lots of guests and vendors (minister/church, place for reception, catering, musicians, etc), you should start informing everyone ASAP about a cancellation.

Take care. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Quoting jessica11r:

Your wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life. If you don't think it can be right now then maybe you should take some time. That being said if you have already invited the guests and such I would just think hard before you decide to call it off. The wedding could be a blessing and help I'll you through tho horrible time. I'm so very sorry for your loss. There is no wrong choice here it's just one that you and your FI need to come to together. I will be thinking of you.


sarahtessa
by on Aug. 5, 2012 at 3:06 AM
Do whatever feels most right in your heart. Hugs and prayers for you.
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EthansMomma2010
by on Aug. 6, 2012 at 12:11 AM

 i think if you start a wedding on an unhappy note it will only make you resent your anniversary. just talk to him and tell him how you feel and that you aren't ready.

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