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How to keep the faith?

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 11:25 PM
  • 9 Replies

One thing I have strugged with throughout this process is my faith. I feel like I've lost it and as much as I want to get it back I have no clue what to do to get it back. My beliefs just aren't lining up with what's happened and I feel like my faith ha been fundamentally shaken. I don't want to go to church, find myself with nothing to say to God, and feel like I cannot reconcile what's happened with my fundamental beliefs. If God knows everything why would he give us a baby that could not survive? How could that cruelty happen to me and so many women?

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 11:25 PM
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by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 11:34 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss, and so sorry you are going through this.  I've always had Christian values, although I've not been to church in over a decade...but through this, I feel like my faith, and my husband as well, has grown stronger.  I had the hospital chaplin come in during my stay, and he said something to me that has played over and over in my head.  He said that we are all tested every day, but Avery was so pure that he did not need to be tested, and God called him home.  I believe in that, that Avery was spared the trials and tribulations that come with earthly life, and that I will be with him again one day.  God doesn't promise us that things will be easy, he promises that he will be there for us to guide us through, and although we don't always understand it, he does what is best for us, and our Angels.  Keep the faith Mama  (((hugs)))

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 11:43 PM
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I am very sorry for your loss and I am gone to pray that God restores your faith. "God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but he did promise strength for the day,comfort for the tears and light for the way."I saw this on the wall of a Social Service work and I wrote it down in my journal and I read it everyday and it has helped me and I pray that it helps you too.hugs

by Desiree-admin on Aug. 23, 2012 at 10:21 AM

I'm sorry for your loss.  Faith is one thing that is really tested and struggled with during a time of grief.  It is normal to question your faith and even fall away for a little while.  You are still grieving and sometimes when its still fresh religion is hard.  It was odd of me to never question God when I found out at 12 weeks my angel had Anencephaly (missing all or part of the skull & brain) and not when she was born sleeping at 38 weeks either.  But I still had trouble going to church and I have yet to make a full service without crying and leaving early and its been 3 months since my Isabelle passed.  

I don't think God was trying to punish or be cruel to the women that lost babies.  And I don't think its all God.  I believe there are other factors in this modern world that had made it harder on our bodies and we see more things then in the past.

Also when I found out about my Isabelle's Anencephaly something was said to me by church friends that kept me together.  It was that my baby was so perfect and her spirit so pure that God wanted her with him right away because she was so perfect and pure that she didn't need to go through the trials on earth as everyone else does.  That just touched me because I believe that is true and it just gives me peace.  Because life here on earth is hard and full of heartbreak and I'm happy to know she will never go through that.  *Big Hugs*

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 4:10 PM

I keep listening to the song by Casting Crowns "Praise you in this storm". This is one of the biggest storms of my life and I don't know why it's happening but I trust that there's a reason and that God is with me. 

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 9:15 PM
I definitely understand. I really struggle when I see others blessed with the miracle of a pregnancy which will probably result in a healthy baby when they weren't even trying or got pregnant to "fix their situation" etc. But, I try to focus on the fact that what God has for me will be for me. I know that may not help ease your pain or restore your faith. But, knowing that you aren't the only one with doubts and you have a place to vent could help the pain a little more bearable. Hugs!
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by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 3:59 AM

I have thrown a tantrum, so to speak, with God and stopped speaking to him. I know that my God appreciates me being able to vent my anger towards him and that is how I justify this. I still have faith but I would be lying if I said that my loss hasn't changed my heart and some of my beliefs. There is a book that my husband got through our support group called Grieve Like A Man (yes I read it and no he didn't) and there is a chapter on this topic saying how God can take you anger and welcomes it so to speak. You aren't meant to be mindless or emotionless. You are a human and these losses we endure really rock our world. We aren't meant to understand and of course that is going to lead to anger and frustration. I know that my God understands that and I know that one day I will start speaking to Him again, but right now I'm still not ready.

by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 10:30 AM
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It's hard to always understand God's plan, but I try to look at it as He knows what is best for me, for He knows me better than I know myself.  That said, as heartbreaking as a miscarriage is, I realize that this life isn't perfect, our bodies don't always work properly and as a result, we may lose a child or get a disease.  God did not cause your miscarriage, just like he doesn't cause cancer.  Sometimes it's just a result of living in an imperfect world with our bodies aging and not always working like they should.  I hope you can find peace in the Lord, for he knows you are hurting and wants to help you through this difficult time.  HUGS!   

by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 7:45 PM

Im sorry for your loss.  I struggled tremendiously with my faith after my 2nd loss.  It tore me up and it was so hard for me to hear people even mention God and his other plans.  Eventually I spoke with a pastor who told me to read the story of Jobe.  It gave me a lot to think about and I decided just to take it one day at a time and eventually I was able to find my faith again and trust that everything happened for a reason even though I may not understand or see it right now ((HUGS)) Just try to hang in there and give yourself time.  It may take a while but you will find what you need to feel better and maybe find your faith again

by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 4:54 PM
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Thanks ladies. I'm hoping that it's something that will slowly come creeping back as I continue to heal. My therapist says she thinks going back to church would be good for me, so I may try that. She's also said this is me being angry about the m/c and it's something I agree with. I think I need to get past all this anger so that I can get my relationship with God on track. Not exactly sure how to do that, but maybe going to church next week would be a step in the right direction.

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