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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support
It has been a month since Lily passed, and we resumed sex about 2 weeks ago. I went on the pill and have been using condoms. I'm not sure what the "problem" is, but I don't want sex and it makes me sad. I have zero desire, or I think I want sex and after a minute of forplay I feel trapped or panicy. I explained to my bf, but I don't think he really understands. I'm not sure what's wrong..maybe I'm scared of getting preg, maybe I'm scared it will hurt because certain positions are tender still. I don't know...when did your sex drive return?
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by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-6):
LilysMommy813
by Heather on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:15 PM
After my first loss it took awhile to enjoy sex again, prob about 3 months after, I can't explain why, maybe just thinking too much
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:37 AM

I think it's just hormones...add to that you've just been through major trauma, and are grieving

blessedmommie07
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by Desiree on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:44 AM

I think its normal after a loss.  I had a hard time with sex too.  The first few times I had sex I cried and couldn't finish.  It has been 5 months since Isabelle and only in the last month have I had the desire to have and enjoy sex again.  Sometimes its just hard after a loss because you know what it leads too.  We had some mishaps too and I literally started having a panic attack thinking if I might be pregnant and I wasn't emotionally ready.  *Hugs*

MommaBoop922
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:01 PM

I think there is a lot of emotion attached to sex after a loss because you know that is how you made your baby.  Plus you can still be really sore and just getting back into that intimacy its all a lot to take in.  It took me a while to get my sex drive back and its hard but you just need to explain to your bf that you need his understanding and hopefully he can give it to you with his support.  You have to face those emotions and not try to rush anything because I think that will make it worse for you.  ((HUGS))  Hang in there!! 

Devious103102
by Priscilla on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:56 PM

It could be a mixture of everything. Fear of getting pregnant again, hormones off balance, etc.  Just give it time and wait till you're ready. 

I'm sad to say that my sex drive returned almost immediately after my loss (I had NO drive during the pregnancy). I was ready to jump DH a few days after but gave it a bit out of fear of pain (since this was my first time having a D&C). We did it the first time Fri night and have done it every day since, today makes 2wks since I lost JR. 

tiffluv81
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:32 PM

I had zero tolerance after my mc. Even when I was ready for sex I wasnt ready. I did it anyhow so we can try for that bby #1 again, just havent had luck since then.

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