Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

It wasn't your fault

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:14 PM
  • 9 Replies

 That is what everyone keeps telling me that the baby implanted to low and there was nothing I could have done. That makes me feel horrible that there was nothing I could do. I really wanted this baby it was supposed to be my last one and now it's gone. I can't even give it it's name because I don't even know what it was, I would rather it happen this way then after it being born. I just hate that the doctors refer to it as tissue and not like a person, because it was a person it had a name. I'm having a hard time moving on I don't know what to do. I can't even walk past the baby asile at walmart I had to go get diapers for my youngest and I about lost it in the baby section. Please tell me it gets easier?

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:14 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
luvbeinamommy68
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 3:59 PM
1 mom liked this

im sorry you are going through this. and i know its not easy but it really isnt your fault. just like it wasnt my fault i MC and it wasnt my fault i went into premature labor (even though with the premature labor i do still have guilt but i know there was nothing that could have been done). it does get easier. the one thing i wished someone would have told me that i found out the hard way was as it gets easier you will have days when it just hits you. i had one of those days a few days ago. and i just cried and cried and cried. and yes its ok to cry! you have every reason to. just because you werent that far along you were still pregnant and you loved that baby from the moment you found out. you have every right to grieve the loss of your baby. do something in rememberance of your baby like plant some flowers or you can buy an angel necklace or something like that. also what did you feel the baby was? a boy or girl? go with that feeling and name your baby. i had a feeling my MC baby was a girl so i have 2 daughters in heaven now. but i just call my MC baby Baby Fletcher (our last name). at my daughters funeral the Father at my church said this "Makayla is so perfect that she didnt need to be tested here on Earth." That makes me feel a little better. but thats what i believe in. 

Wife to Donald for 5 yrs (Annver. 12/30) and mommy to 6!

Hubby comes home Dec. 23rd!! Cant wait!!

Jason 6, Alexis 4 1/2, Catelynn 2 1/2, Ethan 1 1/2 and 2 angels baby Fletcher lost to MC 11/13/11 and Makayla lost to premature labor at 24 weeks 5 days 08/17/12 - 08/21/12

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

You may have left my arms but you will never leave my heart! 

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
Devious103102
by Priscilla on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:23 PM

((((hugs)))) It gets easier, though the pain never really goes away.  Give it time and grieve. Give your baby a name (what did you FEEL it was?) and always remember him/her. 

mommyofnoah208
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:38 PM
I am so sorry :( it is so painful. Although you will always miss your baby and have hard days, it does get easier. Thinkng of you
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
heatherfoutch
by Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:05 PM
thank u ladies i'm getting a tattoo of a small dime sized baby footprint on my hand
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Angela4boys
by Angela on Oct. 12, 2012 at 6:27 AM

(((hugs))), it does get easier...and it wasn't your fault.  I'm very sorry that anyone referred to your baby as tissue, that is cold, insensitive, and wrong!  Shame on them!  Have you considered giving your baby a unisex name, one that fits for a boy, or a girl, so that you can talk about baby by name? 


heatherfoutch
by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this
no the only names we could agree on were for a boy or a girl so we will just have to call it baby Lyons
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tiffluv81
by Member on Oct. 12, 2012 at 2:58 PM

You know I felt like that it was my fault also. Matter of fact all four of my mc's i thought was my fault. I has taken me years to understand that somethings happen naturally and there is no way to prevent. Like even if you exercise, eat well , etc doesn't promise ever lasting life you know. We have to remember that all things are done for a reason, yes it hard to deal with at time, yes we can bare, and yes we will get over it. Keep your head up stay encouraged and these ladies here are amazing at doing that. I have been ttc #1 for 10 years I have every emotion on this journey latched on to me. Today I maybe ok tomorrow I may not be, but I do know long as I have breath I want give up this ttc without a fight.

purfectlilly
by on Oct. 12, 2012 at 4:14 PM

 i wish that i could agree with everyone and say that it will get easier but i don't think that it does. it just gets different. different things will randomly upset you or take you back to where you were and hurt. but what will get easier is your ability to handle the situations (triggers). at the moment, i avoid the baby aisles and have not been able to get any of my prego friends gifts. tomorrow, it may not even bother me. it's hard to deal with the loss and the natural thought is that it has to be your fault because you were carrying it. but there is no fault. your baby implanted too low, some stop growing, so far i have no explanation of why mine all m/c. just rest, cry, and live through this.  we are here if you need support.

Lilly

Mamasita7176
by Susan on Oct. 12, 2012 at 6:07 PM
I'm sorry for you loss. I lost both mine early too! I went with my gut....and asked God for guidance. I believe the first was a boy and second one a girl. I named them Garrett and Lilly.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)