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I'm new here. Literally just joined a few hours ago. I lost a baby at 8 weeks in April. I was devastated. No my little one was not planned but as soon as I got confirmation I was in LOVE. And my boyfriend took it so well, he was a real champ. When I started spotting he held my hand in the ER telling me everything would be okay. When we lost the baby he held my hand and cried briefly. He's a guy I was floored he showed that much emotion. Right away he wanted to try again. I begged him to wait he said no.

Three days later he changed his mind. Now it's been seven months. Everytime we decide to try again he changes his mind. I have to beg him to talk to me and when he finally does it's like he's talking to a child who's throwing a tantrum. He won't touch me. When I ask him about it he says that he's not avoiding me but he is. I don't know if he's afraid or deep down he resents me. Is anyone else going through this? 

I love him and I don't want this to break us but it seems to be heading down that road. Any advice would be appreciated. I've mentioned couples and individual counseling but he just shrugs. it's driving me crazy!

Sorry for the long winded, seemingly never ending description. I'm just at the end of my rope. I'm ready to try to move on to the next phase of our lives but he doesn't seem to want the same thing. Thanks.

by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:41 AM
Replies (11-12):
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:36 AM

It sounds like the m/c shook him up really bad and he's probably just afraid.  Instead of talking about it and making the choice to TTC, how about just "letting things happen" and see how it goes.  If I try to talk TTC with my husband he clams up and doesn't want to talk about it, but when push comes to shove I know he wants to because he makes no move to use any of the protection we have available.  

by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 11:12 AM

I am so sorry. I know how painful  to lose a baby early even unplanned. Your story is alot like mine. I also lost a baby at 8 weeks just last week also unplanned. My boyfriend was extatic even though i was apprehensive at first. Hes been very supportive and wants to try again but its still early.  Maybe he doesnt want to see you in so much pain again or it might help to talk to a guy who has went through the same thing. Good luck I hope he comes around

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