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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Bad day :(

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:27 AM
  • 5 Replies

Between now and the beginning of Dec I would be finding out what if its a boy or a girl. Instead I am sitting here thinking about how it would have gone, what it would have been like. I am playing scenerios in my head about a baby that doesnt exist now.

Its been about 3 mos since it happend. I have been ok for about 6 wks. I try to keep myself busy and not think about it. Last night while I was in bed with DF I fell apart. I started crying and I can never get the words out of my mouth. He asks whats wrong. I cant say it. I just cry and try to breathe. I got choked up and couldnt talk. When I finally did, I asked how he felt about it. He never talked to me about it. This would have been his first biological child. I felt even more horrible because when I asked him he said he tries to be strong for me. I told him that I wanted to know how he felt because sometimes I think I am crazy and I need to know that he feels about the same. He started crying and told me how he thinks its his fault. He believes in karma. He thinks that because of some of the bad things he has done in his life, this is what he recieved. I believe in karma to a certain extent. I dont believe this is what it is. This doesnt just impact him. I think it is my fault because it is my body and I already had issues with it.

So...Today is a bad day and I just felt like talking about it

by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:27 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Angela4boys
by Angela on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:52 AM
Hun, it's totally normal to blame yourself, I did, so did my husband... It's just a part of the grieving process. I am glad you guys are communicating, that's a good thing ((hugs))
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krunchykorn
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:55 AM
I would have been 10 weeks :( that cut me deep today.. I think of it everyday and blame myself. I hate myself to be honest. Hold up! it will get better and keep telling yourself that!
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Irene1923
by Tina on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I am sorry for your loss. It will be a year next month for my second loss and still every now and then I have bad days. I think it is normal to blame ourselves....sometimes that is easier than believing there was no reason. But it wasn't your fault or his. Milestone dates will always be hard...talking or writing about how you feel can be a tremendous help or doing something in honor of your angel like lighting a candle. Thinking of you and hoping you find some peace today. *hugs*
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mommyofnoah208
by Melissa on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:08 AM
So sorry, thinking of you. It is not your guys fault, unfortunately bad things can happen even when everything is done perfectly. Whe. We grieve we need a reason, we need to place blame...but just know it wasnt your fault
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blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:36 AM

*Hugs*  I'm glad that you at least opened up to each other about your feelings.  It makes you both stronger to have each other to lean on.

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