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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

I don't want pity.

Posted by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:41 AM
  • 10 Replies

I have avoided seeing my extended family and family friends because I don't want to hear the pity. I want to heal and everyone wanting to talk about it is not going to help me. My cousin is due in February (her second in two years) and I know i will be a wreck. It doesnt help that her husband likes to rub it in our face that they are on their second even though we have been married longer than they have known each other...

Ugh. I am strong and I can make it through this, dammit.

by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 12:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jessica11r
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Sorry you are going though this.
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jeniemarie
by Bronze Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:07 AM
im so sorry that your family doesnt undertand the pain. maybe just tell them how you feel and that you need encouagement to move on instead of pity and reminders of your pain. or just keep your distance if you have to
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EAzizM
by Erica on Nov. 30, 2012 at 3:57 AM
I have been keeping away. I don't want to risk the chance of being a raging bitch to one of them. Once i can handle my emotions, ill be more willing to come around.

Quoting jeniemarie:

im so sorry that your family doesnt undertand the pain. maybe just tell them how you feel and that you need encouagement to move on instead of pity and reminders of your pain. or just keep your distance if you have to
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I couldn't see or talk to anyone for a month. Something changed in me though after I had my first period, I just felt more "normal" more like myself. My phone was ringing off the hook before that and I would just silence it and text back.

(( hugs))
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smileber
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 6:35 AM
1 mom liked this

I understand. It really is hard. My father had me come to their ultrasound to see my sibling. I found out that day that the baby would have been due around the same as me and my husband. I got to see its cute little face and the whole time all I could think about was, "This is what I should be experiencing, too". It is hard to bring myself to talk to him, anymore. I can't talk to my sibling's mom. In time, you will heal. Just do what you feel is going to help you heal faster! It is a very hard thing to talk about, and if talking it out isn't your things, of course it isn't going to help. But don't drive yourself crazy holding it in, either. Hang in there. (: *Hugs!*


blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Nov. 30, 2012 at 11:14 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry.  That would frustrate me to have him do that.  

EAzizM
by Erica on Nov. 30, 2012 at 11:29 AM
Amber!! Hugs.

Quoting smileber:

I understand. It really is hard. My father had me come to their ultrasound to see my sibling. I found out that day that the baby would have been due around the same as me and my husband. I got to see its cute little face and the whole time all I could think about was, "This is what I should be experiencing, too". It is hard to bring myself to talk to him, anymore. I can't talk to my sibling's mom. In time, you will heal. Just do what you feel is going to help you heal faster! It is a very hard thing to talk about, and if talking it out isn't your things, of course it isn't going to help. But don't drive yourself crazy holding it in, either. Hang in there. (: *Hugs!*


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momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Nov. 30, 2012 at 1:57 PM

I am really sorry and I get it. My sister has 5 kids, each around 14-15 months apart from each other. Over thansgiving, they wanted my to come over and do the holiday crap. I did, but it KILLED me, eventhough I have two healthy ones already. I just don't think they understand. It's not like I just had a root canal a few weeks ago and everythings fine. It's totally not. I lost a baby. It's a pretty flipping big deal. Hang in there.

Lennox28
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 4:36 PM

I'm so sorry and I understand.  I didn't even want to have to tell people b/c I hated the way it felt.  Luckily my family basically dropped it after that and left me alone about it.  I hope your family can be more understanding and not talk about it if that's what you want.

purfectlilly
by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 5:04 PM

 This is so hard. Everyone is so different and it's so hard to deal with. Nothing is like losing a baby. I wish that more people could understand. My boss and I were prego around the same time. She announced hers about when I found out I lost mine. So I had to deal with my loss while she was gushing about her boy. Sometimes the world is just fucked up and I'm sorry that you have to go through something like this.

Lilly

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