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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Feels like torture (turned out being long, sorry!)

Posted by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 7:37 AM
  • 8 Replies

So leading up to ttc the first time we would talk to ds about having a baby and what that meant, he is now 5. Back then he was NOT having it, the idea of a baby made him angry and made it very clear, he did NOT want a baby in this family. I know he was only four so his opinion obvioously didn't sway us too much but I did worry and feel bad that when we did have a baby he wouldn't like the baby and be miserable. So I get pregnant August, very early so we obviously don't tell him. Fast forward to the end of Sept, I have a miscarriage. Again we don't tell him because it was an early loss, and because he was 4 and just didn't feel it was necessary.

Ok well he obviously over heard me talking to someone about the miscarriage, I always tried not to talk about it around him because it really upsets him when I'm upset. So he asks me about the baby and decide to just tell him the truth and tell him that its okay to be sad and miss the baby but the baby is in heaven with God and is watching over us and will is everyday. He actually seemed to understand. He stills talks about the baby in heaven every once in a while.


Now here's the kicker..The last month and a half or so he has been talking about "the baby we are going to have." Now he wants a baby! Everywhere we go he tells me..oh (pointing to diapers) we have to buy those for the baby we're going to have. "Oh, we should save these baby toys for the new baby." Now it's several times a day everyday that hes's talking about this baby we are going to have. He understands the baby we had is gone and in heaven, he is talking about a new baby. It kills me, it really does. I want another baby more than anytthing but I am not ready to start trying again ANYTIME soon. UGh..my heart is just broken.

by on Nov. 30, 2012 at 7:37 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Angela4boys
by Angela on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Aww that's sweet :) sometimes losing something makes you realize how much you wanted it :). He wants a baby! Praying for you, that your rainbow is in the works! Soon!!
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momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:08 AM

Kids are so wild! Reading that brought tears to my eyes! I wish you the best of luck!! :)

michellej428
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:42 AM

thank you, you are so right. so hard hearing that stuff from a 5 y/o when i dont know if ill ever be ready to try again. 

Quoting Angela4boys:

Aww that's sweet :) sometimes losing something makes you realize how much you wanted it :). He wants a baby! Praying for you, that your rainbow is in the works! Soon!!


michellej428
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:42 AM

thank you

Quoting momofcrazypants:

Kids are so wild! Reading that brought tears to my eyes! I wish you the best of luck!! :)


Angela4boys
by Angela on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:46 AM
I felt that way too. Losing a baby is a game changer for sure, but, all the worry is worth it for a baby (IMO). We can do this!

Quoting michellej428:

thank you, you are so right. so hard hearing that stuff from a 5 y/o when i dont know if ill ever be ready to try again. 

Quoting Angela4boys:

Aww that's sweet :) sometimes losing something makes you realize how much you wanted it :). He wants a baby! Praying for you, that your rainbow is in the works! Soon!!


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blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Nov. 30, 2012 at 10:57 AM

*Hugs*  Don't let being afraid stop you.  We have to have hope thats all we can cling to when were ttc.  My oldest was 5 when our angel passed away.  For weeks he would tell me I needed another baby in my tummy.

michellej428
by Member on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM

Right again! It is totally worth it. Thank you for helping me see it that way...maybe I will be able to do it again. Thank you so much. I really don't know what I would do without all of you ladies. No one else understands what I'm going through...I feel so alone and then I come here and just feel 1000 times better

Quoting Angela4boys:

I felt that way too. Losing a baby is a game changer for sure, but, all the worry is worth it for a baby (IMO). We can do this!

Quoting michellej428:

thank you, you are so right. so hard hearing that stuff from a 5 y/o when i dont know if ill ever be ready to try again. 

Quoting Angela4boys:

Aww that's sweet :) sometimes losing something makes you realize how much you wanted it :). He wants a baby! Praying for you, that your rainbow is in the works! Soon!!



Angela4boys
by Angela on Nov. 30, 2012 at 2:20 PM
Me too ((hugs))

Quoting michellej428:

Right again! It is totally worth it. Thank you for helping me see it that way...maybe I will be able to do it again. Thank you so much. I really don't know what I would do without all of you ladies. No one else understands what I'm going through...I feel so alone and then I come here and just feel 1000 times better

Quoting Angela4boys:

I felt that way too. Losing a baby is a game changer for sure, but, all the worry is worth it for a baby (IMO). We can do this!



Quoting michellej428:

thank you, you are so right. so hard hearing that stuff from a 5 y/o when i dont know if ill ever be ready to try again. 

Quoting Angela4boys:

Aww that's sweet :) sometimes losing something makes you realize how much you wanted it :). He wants a baby! Praying for you, that your rainbow is in the works! Soon!!



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