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My story

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:07 PM
  • 9 Replies

 Hi, My name is Ashley, I am 25 years old with 2 wonderful children. 6 year old Chris, and 4 year old Aiden. My boyfriend Josh and I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. We were blessed with a positive test in September. According to my period tracker, I was 5 and a half weeks pregnant. I had no idea, that that was the last day my baby would be alive. I had my first appointment in October. I was supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant. But according to the ultrasound, he was only measuring at 5.5 weeks. So we made another appointment for a week later in hopes that our dates were wrong. When I went back, the measurements were the same. We discussed my options and Josh and I agreed on a D&C the next week, on October 31'st. I took this really hard. I ended up leaving Josh for a few days because I couldn't handle being around him, and I needed alot of help taking care of my boys. So I stayed at my best friends house. I just stayed on her couch for 3 days. I wanted nothing to do with anyone. About a week after I came home, Brittany(bf) called me crying and told me she was pregnant.

I can't handle everyone getting pregnant and having babies. I feel like everyone is rubbing it in my face. Brittany has a 7 month old, and now she's having another one. My SIL has a 6 month old. everyone I know is pregnant, or having babies and just rubbing it in my face. I can't handle this. I feel like everyone has forced me to "just get over it" And when I do feel upset about it, I feel ashamed. Is this normal?? Why can't I just grieve the loss of my baby??

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:07 PM
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by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:56 PM

((((hugs)))) I'm sorry for your losses.  It always seems at a time we're trying to greive that we should, instead, be "happy" for others.  I lost my son on Sept 25 at 17w 5d, my sister had her son Oct 13 (few days early) then my SIL Oct 24 (4wks early), my youngest sister is due Jan 18 and my cousin is due March 28 (1 month exactly after I would've been due) and another friend just announced that she's expecting (sometime in July/August). There is no "just getting over it" but this is the right place to come and greive our little ones.  I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. 

by Desiree-admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 7:57 PM

I'm sorry.  No one is deliberately rubbing it in your face.  Sometimes it just happens and its hard when your hurting and in pain.  Its normal to be angry and think its not fair and that should be you.  This is a pain that is like no other and its hard because miscarriage and infant loss can be the hardest of losses because some people expect you to get over it or wonder what the big deal is.  Don't feel guilty, its not your fault your in pain.  Keep hope in your hearts.  *Hugs*

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 8:08 PM
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Unfortunately it is normal (( hugs)). I am sorry for your loss.
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by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:49 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! (HUG)

by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 11:12 PM
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 I am sorry about your baby.  A baby is a baby no matter what and it deserves your love and you deserve to grieve that little baby.  I think talking to your boyfriend about how you are feeling would be a start.  I hate to say this, but a loss like yours (like all of ours) is very trying on relationships.  And don't feel ashamed- you didn't do anything wrong, and grieving is normal.  I am sorry honey.

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:44 PM

I'm sorry honey and I agree with the other mommas. I know it's so hard and tough and it seems like no one understands. :(

by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 4:30 PM

So sorry for your loss. (hugs)

by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:33 PM
It's definitely hard when everyone around you is pregnant. My SIL is pregnant and was 4 months ahead of me so I have to see her. Then there are a lot of people at work. At choir I had a woman ask me if I'm better yet?? Not sure how to answer that. Then she said "oh not sure if you knew but I'm expecting". Then as if that want bad enough she says "I thought we were going to be going through this together". Well no kidding. Does she think I meant to have a miscarriage? I just try to stay calm and keep thinking that my path is different and I can't control it.
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by Amy on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:18 AM

((hugs)) i'm sorry for your loss hun.  The way your feeling is totally normal because I know after my loss I went through so many different emotions and it seemed like everyone I knew was pregnant. 

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