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Im Devastated

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:37 AM
  • 12 Replies

Okay... I went in for my routine OB apt yesterday morning..... The dr couldnt find my baby's heart beat. I was 14 weeks yesterday... we did 2 ultrasounds, and my baby has passed!! :'''( I am beyond devistated and idk what to do with myself or how to handle this. Im angry, im sad! 

The dr said that my baby's heart stopped probably about  a week, week and a half ago. by the way i was measuring. Im so angry! what do i do!?!

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:37 AM
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:57 AM
I am so sorry you are going through this. Losing a baby is a pain like no other. I am glad you are here, this group is very supportive, living and helpful, I cannot say enough great things.

Have you spoken to your doctor yet about your options? I was given the option to induce with the possibility of needing a D&E if not everything passed, or to go home and let nature take its course. I chose to induce as I really needed closure, the thought if waiting was too much for me to take. My only regret was that I didn't research the method they used. I was given cytotec, also known as misoprostol and it didn't to well.

I know it's a lot to think about, and take in all at once, but there are a lot of message board threads on here about things people regret or wish they did. Often people aren't given the chance to see or photograph their baby, or hold their baby. I did all those things, thankfully I had a great nursing staff. I also had our baby cremated. Something else I would have never thought about without my nurses. It's your baby, you can have a burial or cremate it you chose to. Some funeral homes will even do it free. I paid $75, which I was very pleased with. I was afraid it would cost a fortune and we wouldn't be able to afford it. Having his ashes here with us means a lot to me.

I am sorry for your loss (( hugs)). I am glad you have time to digest all this and make some informed decisions.
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by Platinum Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:25 AM

 I am so sorry for your loss.  Its so hard hearing "there's no heartbeat."  Words really can't help at a time like this.  This group is amazing, I couldn't have made it through my losses without these ladies.  Angela about said it all.  The most important thing I can tell you is, its your baby and your body so you can do/have/say whatever you want!  If you want to give birth and hold and see your baby- tell them.  If you choose a D&C I would suggest asking for another US maybe for some momento photos if you already don't have them.  Anything you want or don't want is RIGHT, you can have or do anything you want or need to make this time special.  I personally gave birth to my daughter (19weeks), I held her, kissed her, took photos of her (my regret is I didn't take more- I wish I would have photographed her hands and feet, and had a photo like of my hands holding hands so I could display it around the house), I also buried my daughter on family land so she would be home with me forever.  If you have any questions, ask us ladies- we have heard it or done it all, and I think all of us would love to help make this sad moment as special as we can, because many of us didn't know we could take charge.  Hugs and I am so sorry you are having to do this.  And I am sorry about your baby. 

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 10:27 AM

its hard how to tell someone how to cope. i know its been 3 wks for me and the physical pain is gome, but the emotional pain is always there. 1 thing is for sure take time for ur self and cry.. let all those emotions come out. i dont like to show feelings and i learned talking has helped me. if u dont like talking to ppl face to face, u can always come on here.. we all here because of the the same reason. we all we get through this together.. Hugs to u.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:44 AM

I am so very sorry (HUGS)

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:19 PM

I'm so very sorry and I agree 100% with what the other ladies recommend. I wasn't given the option to be able to deliver, hold, cremate or bury my child. I had to had a D&C when I was 16.5w and they're guessing the baby had been passed away for a few weeks already by then. I wish I had something more to remember my child. I just don't. I named the baby and wear a necklace with charms for him or her.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:24 PM

My dr told me to go on my planned vacation to NY  and see if nature takes it coarse. she didnt want. What i want is when/if i do pass everything on my own, i want to get my baby creamated. I really like that idea. Thank you ladies.

by Desiree-admin on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:50 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.  

by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:53 PM

 I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two this year and this site has really helped me. Mine were both early losses but no pain in this world can compare to hearing that your baby is gone. Please take time to make your own decisions and grieve. This will most likely be a difficult time. Know that there are people here living the same things (just a little bit differently) and that there is lots of support if you want it.


by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM
That's horrible. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:18 PM

Pray is the only thing i can do . I am waiting for my DNC friday i am 10 weeks but lost my twins one at 7 weeks 5 days and the other 8 weeks 2 days . I know how hard it is . I am so mad sad heartbroken everything you can feel you will feel . . Talk about it when you feel like you . This is my 3 mc this year it does start to get better , But it never really leaves your heart . God bless i hope your heart heals soon

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