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I'm back!

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:44 PM
  • 19 Replies

 Hello ladies!!

I got my BFP on June 4th! And I miscarried at 8 weeks in July. After that, I felt like my world had literally shattered. Part of me thought I was being stupid, because I was only 8 1/2 weeks pregnant, and it wasn't even a fetus yet. But the other half of me felt like I had just lost someone that had been in  my life for years. I was super depressed after the first few weeks.

On the other hand, my husband seeemed fine. Which was hard to deal with. He said he "cared", but for him, it wasn't like we knew the sex, or it had a name or I was in my 2nd or 3rd trimester. It made me sad that he felt that way, but then again, he didn't FEEL the pregnancy, where as I had "morning sickness" ALL DAY!!

After I went through my "I hate pregnant people and babies" phase, I was finally myself again. I would like to be more active on this website in general. Sometimes I feel that people don't want to hear my sad story, or if I have advice to give to someone else, someone else may have posted it already.

The doctor and my body finally feel like it's ok to go back for treatments again.....which I'm feeling very bittersweet about. Obviously I'm excited, because I got pregnant in the first month with Clomid and an IUI. And I'm hoping for the same results with this round. But what if I do get preggo again. All I'm going to do is stress out about losing my baby again =(

******* end of rant *********

** Jess **


ttc

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Dec. 18, 2012 at 4:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry for your loss.  Good luck for you ttc!

Schaiswife09
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:00 PM
I don't mind hearing your story or advice. I am a mess right now I have no one and I don't mean like a dramatic poor me way I mean my mil tells me I will have a disabled child if I "keep on" my mother is too strung out on prescription pills to care or too busy shopping to deal with me when " I have a husband for that " and my husband thinks " I am dragging this out and its different than when he lost his son because he could hug him and bind with him and " all I talk about is the baby" he also thinks its stupid for me to go to the dr to get on depression meds or anxiety meds because it will "prolong" the process when I should just get it out of my system and move on.. needless to say I've had a rough day
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SuprMom12042702
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:07 PM
I feel your pain. I just suffered my 2nd loss last week. The first one didnt bother me as much as this one has. I was only 4 wks and a couple of days. we had just found out we were pregnant and getting use to it when i lost it. My husband says that he is sad but thats about it. I feel like i am dealing with the emotions by myself because noone else cares or they keep saying things like Well you have four kids to take care of you didnt need another one. So i pretty much keep it all to myself most days. But i wanted to also say good luck in ur ttc
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Angela4boys
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes, I think you will stress the while time if you get pregnant again! That being said I think all that stress is worth it for a baby, they are wonderful!

I am glad you are here, you can post anything you want and we all listen... It doesn't get as much traffic as the busy groups, but everyone here is genuine and caring ((hugs))
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jessicaozier
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:14 PM
Thanks guys!! Everyone has there up and down days, I guess. And from what I read, husband's will NEVER understand miscarriage (especially when the m/c happens in the first trimester. We all gotta stay strong and do what we can to get by =) GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!! **sprinkles baby dust**

** Jess **


ttc

lunarmamma
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:29 PM
My first loss was March 30, I was 10 1/2 weeks, I still cry over losing Isabella I miss her so much!
I just had my second loss, so it brings everything up to the surface again, and I have tried ahold hard to keep them all at bay. I have gone through this 100% alone.
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Mommy4Clara
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:36 PM

Hi Jess,

Congrats on ttc again.  I can't wait to get the gree light from my doctor to try again....

I'm sure we will both be nervous about losing our next pregnancy, but remind yourself that stres is not good for you or the baby. 

Don't ever feel like holding back in this group because people might have already read it - new people come into this group every day and we are all hear to listen to each other because we all need someone to listen to us.

jessicaozier
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:37 PM

 Sorry you are all alone. I can't even imagine what that is like

Quoting lunarmamma:

My first loss was March 30, I was 10 1/2 weeks, I still cry over losing Isabella I miss her so much!
I just had my second loss, so it brings everything up to the surface again, and I have tried ahold hard to keep them all at bay. I have gone through this 100% alone.

 

** Jess **


ttc

jessicaozier
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:39 PM

 Thanks!! I'm really excited about TTC again too. Trying to keep all the bad feelings away, and remember that this is different an have a "everything will be just fine" attitude.

My fingers will be crossed that you get the green light to go again soon!! How long has it already been?

Quoting Mommy4Clara:

Hi Jess,

Congrats on ttc again.  I can't wait to get the gree light from my doctor to try again....

I'm sure we will both be nervous about losing our next pregnancy, but remind yourself that stres is not good for you or the baby. 

Don't ever feel like holding back in this group because people might have already read it - new people come into this group every day and we are all hear to listen to each other because we all need someone to listen to us.

 

** Jess **


ttc

momofcrazypants
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:22 PM

Wishing you the best when you get to ttc again. I just had my first loss almost 5 weeks ago and saying it's been difficult would be a massive understatement. We were almost 17weeks along when we found out that our baby had passed and they're estimating that the baby had actually passed away somewhere around the 14w mark and my body never got the memo. We were told to wait two cycles before ttc again and I just got AF for the first time this morning since I went through my D&C.

This is the one place where I have been able to talk about my experience without feeling like a broken record or that I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Without this group, I think I would have just about lost my mind. Glad you're here, not why you're here and can't wait to see you move forward with your story and adventures. :)

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