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How do you try again?

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:40 PM
  • 11 Replies

It's only been 3 weeks since my mc and I know I have plenty of time but I'm terrified to try again.  Should I just wait until I'm not (terrified)?  Does it ever get less scary? If I get pregnant soon will I ever get over this lose?  If I don't try again will I ever get over it?  I have no idea what to do... and I hate feeling this way.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 8:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyofnoah208
by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:51 PM
2 moms liked this
First, I am so sorry for your loss.
ttc and being pregnant after a loss is so different then before and so scary. I dont really think waiting makes it less scary, but I think it can be helpful to allow yourself some time to grieve and get to a better place emotionally. I waited 6 months and then we got pregnant on the second cycle, so it was 8 months after my loss and I was very scared, but it also brought hope and some happiness back into my life when I thought nothing could be good again. So just give yourself a little time and be prepared to be nervous, but remember to relax and enjoy. My beautiful daughter is 13 months now, so great happy things can happen after such devestating loss. Good luck and hope everything goes perfect!
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cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:41 AM

I'm sorry for your loss hun ((Hugs)) and I totally agree with what she said. 

Quoting mommyofnoah208:

First, I am so sorry for your loss.
ttc and being pregnant after a loss is so different then before and so scary. I dont really think waiting makes it less scary, but I think it can be helpful to allow yourself some time to grieve and get to a better place emotionally. I waited 6 months and then we got pregnant on the second cycle, so it was 8 months after my loss and I was very scared, but it also brought hope and some happiness back into my life when I thought nothing could be good again. So just give yourself a little time and be prepared to be nervous, but remember to relax and enjoy. My beautiful daughter is 13 months now, so great happy things can happen after such devestating loss. Good luck and hope everything goes perfect!


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kate80
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:45 AM
*sigh* I'm not sure what to tell you. We tried right away with no luck. It is hard. Coming up on dd for one I lost. My heart goes out to you.
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EAzizM
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:47 AM

If you dont feel you are emotionally ready, you should wait until you are. Give yourself time to grieve.

jeniemarie
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:49 AM
im so sorry for your loss. only you can tell when the time is right. it is always a struggle and very nerve racking making the choice to try again. you do not have to rush into a desision you have lots of time. give yourself time to greive for your angel. dont feel guilty when you do decide to try again. you are not forgetting or replacing your angel you are just simply trying to move on.
unfortantly its always going to be scary youll never be able to veiw pregancy the way you did before your loss. its a pain well never get over completely but it does dull and sometimes added children can help.

i had several m/cs before i got pg with my DD. everyday i worried if id lose her. every cramp or spot of blood made me sacred and worried, but we made it through. i pray for you to have peace of mind and be able to choose the best path for you
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Angela4boys
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 6:32 AM
I am sorry for your loss :(. I don't know if that fear ever goes away. I do think you are more raw after a loss, it may be a good idea to wait a few months so you don't have to deal with disappointment of negative tests on top of raw emotions. But, some people feel the need to conceive right away, to overcome the feeling of loss. It's a personal decision. Do what feels right to you. Good luck!
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Dani41780
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:40 AM

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I agree with everyone else. I say try again when you are ready.

blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:29 AM

You'll be worried no matter what but it will get to a point where you can say I'm emotionally ready for the roller coaster of ttc and being pregnant again.  It makes it a little easier if you think your ready for it.  It took my and DH to be ready to ttc 6 months after our loss.  

momofcrazypants
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:34 AM

I'm pretty new at this too, it's only been around 5 weeks since our loss. I think no matter how much time you wait to ttc, the scary thoughts will always be in the back of your mind and you will be worried. The important part is trying to think positively and make decisions that are right for you. I agree with the other ladies too, there's no right or wrong answer to this and no blueprint for what we're supposed to do and when we are supposed to do it. It has to be a personal decision for when you're ready.

We we told to wait two cycles before ttc again to let things heal up. At first, I wanted to ttc immediately...but I think now it's important for us to wait. I'm still trying to process my loss.

Wishing you the best!

jacksmom3707
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:09 AM

I am in your same situation and thinking the same things you are so I just wanted to say I can relate!

Our loss is very recent (2 weeks post D & C) and I haven't had one cycle yet. My doctor recommended we wait 2 cycles which makes it a little easier since I at least feel I have that time to let myself heal and there's no pressure right away.

I think when we do try again, it will be scary but it will also bring back some happiness and hope for the future. Now that I had a loss, it's like I want to a baby even more than before. Hugs!

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