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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Indescribable Pain .... First Pregnancy First Miscarriage

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:54 AM
  • 9 Replies

Good morning, 

I need to vent and find support. My husband and I have been TTC for 2 years. We found out we were pregnant on Nov 28th. At  just about 6 weeks I had bad cramping and was advised to go to the hospital in case it was appendicitis. They did an ultrasound and confirmed I was pregnant but there was no heartbeat yet. They instructed me to go to my obgyn the following week to confirm heartbeat. It was there. I saw it and heard it and took my three little pictures of my first child home with me. I was elated!! 

Off we go to the inlaws for the Christmas holiday and we share our news because everyone had been praying and wishing us well. Plus I wasn't drinking and that tipped everyone off. I feel pregnant the entire time. I have done everything by the book the entire 7 going on 8 weeks. Nothing is amiss. I am happy 

Friday was my official 8 week apt and I bring my husband expecting to see that little buddy grow and hear a strong heartbeat and from the minute she starts looking we both knew it was not good. It hadn't grown a bit in the last week. The obgyn advises it probably has been dead for a week. This is the part where I start to lose my mind.....I had no bleeding no cramping no indication at all that I had lost the baby. I have now been carrying this sweet little dead baby for 9 days now. They scheduled my D&C for Wednesday because of the New Year holiday. That will put me at 12 days. 

I am so incredibly sad about the loss of my first baby but I cannot explain the sadness I have carrying my baby still in my body. I still feel pregnant .... If they hadn't told me otherwise I would guess I was still pregnant. It has only been two days that I have known that I have miscarried but this pain is unbearable. I keep telling myself it is okay to grieve and that I will get pregnant again but as I am sure you all can understand it is so incredibly painful. So sad. So unfair. So cruel. 

We all have our stories and my sadness is no different than yours. It just feels somewhat comforting to know that I am not alone. Thank you in advance for your kind words and advise 

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 11:54 AM
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Replies (1-9):
feralkitten
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:32 PM

i'm so sorry. 

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:39 PM

*hugs*  I'm so sorry for your loss.  Some people m/c and bleed right away and others can't m/c on their own or it takes a long time.  I'm sorry.

bwoosley
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 3:00 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.  Just know that you came to a great place.  The ladies here are so supportive and sweet.  No matter what you are feeling we are all here for you.

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Dec. 30, 2012 at 5:17 PM

I'm so very sorry, mine was pretty similar to your story. I went in for my normal 16w OB, found out the baby had passed and probably had done so a few weeks earlier and had a D&C scheduled the next day. This wasn't my first baby, it was actually my 3rd-we have two healthy kids already. Had I not had gone to that appointment, I'd never know. At this point, being as far along as I was, I looked and felt pregnant. (hugs)

ttc1rainbow
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 5:33 PM

hugs

There are no words....I'm so sorry you're having to experience this. This is a great group of women, who all do great at making others feel comfort & are so supportive!! I'm keeping you in my thoughts & prayers. Wishing you the best of luck in your healing, and hope your journey to find peace is an easy one 

Dani41780
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:40 PM

I'm am so very sorry for your loss :(

jacksmom3707
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 7:28 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss :-(

I had a similiar situation, went to an 8 week standard first appointment ultrasound and they found no heartbeat. Went back a week later and it was confirmed again, no growth. Had a D & C almost 4 weeks ago.

It's a very painful experience but I hope the days and weeks ahead bring you healing. I feel worlds away from how I felt back at the beginning of the month and we hope to try again in February.

Hang in there.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:55 AM

((hugs)) i'm so sorry for your loss hun. 

daniellerjones
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:09 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.I miscarried last year on 1-31-12. We had been ttc for over 2 years and I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Day.What a Christmas gift! had my first ultrasound on 1-18-12 and saw a very healthy heartbeat at 7w4d.Im a nurse so I knew there was less than a 5% chance for MC.Unfortunately, l started spotting on 1-26-12 and went to the OB. Hey said the baby had probably died 2-3 days before.I MC on 1-31-12 naturally and the gestational sac was still intact.My doctor didn't believe me.Kinda pissed me off.Its been a year and It still makes me upset bc we have not conceived since.Im 27 and my hubby and I are both perfectly fine.Its not fair and there's never an explanation.Im sorry for your loss but I am still with you and it's been a year for me.

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