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I am so broken and It gets worse every day....

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Hey ladies, I haven't been on in a while but I have really been struggling. As many of you know we lost our sweet angel Jackson on 9/12/12 at 19 weeks. I was supposed to be due on Feb 6th and the closer I get to that date the worse I feel. I should be like 38 weeks and happy and so excited for our sweet baby boy and instead I sit here with empty arms and a heavy heart. My husband and I started trying as soon as we were given the okay and have had no luck conceiving which is just killing me. we want a baby SO badly and just don't understand what is going on. I have done OPK's, tracked my temps and cervical mucus etc. My periods have been much heavier and cycles longer than normal. I used to have 27-28 day cycles with a 5-7 day period. Now my period is about the same or shorter but VERY heavy but my cycles have been long, this month 35 days! Anyone have any insight as to what could be going on or what we could do to increase our chances of fertility. Going on cycle 4 of TTC and I just feel lost/hopeless. I set up an appt with my oB this friday to just meet up and chat and see where I can go from here. I know they say it can take up to a year but I really don't know if I can wait that long. every time I get my period, I totally lose it. This is all sooooo unfair. I am surrounded by pregnant people at work and friends/family and it kills me. :o( 

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 5:38 PM
Replies (11-13):
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't give up! We experienced our first loss in July of 2008 & tried ever since I did it all from charting to OPKs, etc. I just wasn't ready to go the OB route or meds, I didn't want to hear that something was wrong with me or even him. We finally stopped actively TTC we got our BFP almost 4 years later to the day. Have faith & hang in there!

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this
:( I'm sorry. You know I'm in the same boat as you. I too used to have shorter cycles & my last 2 cycles are 35days. We used to get pg so easily. We would stop preventing & bam! It would take us by such surprise because it would happen so quick & we never payed attention to when my fertile time might be. But the baby has always stopped growing & after every loss we would take a while before we'd stop preventing again. After a chemical preg. in Aug we started trying in Oct. I've tried dif things, I'm also doing opk's & charting, & also taking progesterone suppositories 3days after O. Nothing. I've cried a lot & felt devastated. But I refuse to give up. I'm just finishing AF, my dh just started taking fertilaid for men & I started taking ovaboost for egg quality. We never needed help b4 but years have passed & it can't hurt. Not to mention I've wondered if egg quality could be a cause of my m/c's. I also posted about fertili-tea & soft cups. Many women say years of trying & 1st cycle with soft cups worked for them so maybe you should look into them? If we fail again this cycle I plan to try them. Hang in there you're not alone!! 
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by Amy on Jan. 18, 2013 at 2:20 AM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) i'm sorry hun.  I don't really have any advice but I hope your ob can give you some answers so that you can have a bfp soon.

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