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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Those dreaded questions....

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:00 PM
  • 55 Replies

You know how things go in phases it seems? Yesterday was one of those.

I kid you not 3 people asked me if I planned on having anymore kids (other than the 3 we do have).  They had no clue of my loss. Just breaks my heart a little inside each time.  

A family friend had no clue when we saw him. I was freezing when normally I'm hot natured.  He goes "What are you, pregnant?!"  This was just a week after the loss. I know he didn't mean harm, he had no clue. Just hurt.  


Any questions that get to you? Vent it out.

by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:03 PM

Asking how many kids we have.  That is just sooo hard to answer and at first just the question made me want to cry.  So since I have two boys and my angel was a girl I usually just say two boys, I just can't say two kids.

AmandaN1
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Ugh. Yes that one is hard.  And I know people don't mean any harm, but it almost makes me angry. And that's not fair to them either.

Quoting blessedmommie07:

Asking how many kids we have.  That is just sooo hard to answer and at first just the question made me want to cry.  So since I have two boys and my angel was a girl I usually just say two boys, I just can't say two kids.


momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:35 PM
1 mom liked this

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Aw honey, I'm so sorry. I think you handle it the same way I do. (hugs)


Quoting blessedmommie07:

Asking how many kids we have.  That is just sooo hard to answer and at first just the question made me want to cry.  So since I have two boys and my angel was a girl I usually just say two boys, I just can't say two kids.



AmandaN1
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:42 PM

Oh gosh. And it's hard to just explain to people too.  

Quoting momofcrazypants:

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(


momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:47 PM

You know, I didn't burst into tears. I almost laughed. I know that's horrible to react like that, I just do it when I'm anxious/nervous. Totally inappropriate. But, having to explain to them what had happened...it was just sad. Sad for them and sad for me. I know they felt bad. :(


Quoting AmandaN1:

Oh gosh. And it's hard to just explain to people too.  

Quoting momofcrazypants:

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(




AmandaN1
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:51 PM

No it's not horrible. Some people just have that gut reaction.  It was the same for the family friend of ours who asked.  It was hard to talk about that soon.  And of course he felt terrible even though he had no clue.

Quoting momofcrazypants:

You know, I didn't burst into tears. I almost laughed. I know that's horrible to react like that, I just do it when I'm anxious/nervous. Totally inappropriate. But, having to explain to them what had happened...it was just sad. Sad for them and sad for me. I know they felt bad. :(


Quoting AmandaN1:

Oh gosh. And it's hard to just explain to people too.  

Quoting momofcrazypants:

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(





momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:58 PM

It's just so awkward for everyone. :(


Quoting AmandaN1:

No it's not horrible. Some people just have that gut reaction.  It was the same for the family friend of ours who asked.  It was hard to talk about that soon.  And of course he felt terrible even though he had no clue.

Quoting momofcrazypants:

You know, I didn't burst into tears. I almost laughed. I know that's horrible to react like that, I just do it when I'm anxious/nervous. Totally inappropriate. But, having to explain to them what had happened...it was just sad. Sad for them and sad for me. I know they felt bad. :(


Quoting AmandaN1:

Oh gosh. And it's hard to just explain to people too.  

Quoting momofcrazypants:

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(







Angela4boys
by Angela on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:02 PM
The day after my D&C, 2 friends of mine wanted to get together, we were trying to figure out what to do, now with our three families there are 16 of us, mind you 8 of that was my family. I had been in bed rest since Christmas Day, and we have 5 kids... So my house is a wreck! One of my friends the one that's a neat freak and only has people over if we all stay outside (and it's winter, so that's not happening) keeps pressuring me to have everyone over. I keep dodging, she keeps pressuring...and this is all through group text. Finally I had to text her off to the side and say listen, it isn't gonna happen! My house is a wreck, I just had a miscarriage and D&C yesterday, I was on bed rest a week, my house is a wreck and I have NO intention of cleaning it. I totally didn't want to tell, but I was getting pegged as the bad guy, and wasn't going to give in. Funny too, cause I am always the one to open my home.
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this
I do the same thing... Nervous laughter.

Quoting momofcrazypants:

You know, I didn't burst into tears. I almost laughed. I know that's horrible to react like that, I just do it when I'm anxious/nervous. Totally inappropriate. But, having to explain to them what had happened...it was just sad. Sad for them and sad for me. I know they felt bad. :(



Quoting AmandaN1:

Oh gosh. And it's hard to just explain to people too.  

Quoting momofcrazypants:

My DH likes to engage the Jehovah Witnesses when they come to the door. He loves people and loves talking to them, plus everyone in our town is super nice. So, they came by a couple of days ago just like they always do and when I opened the door they caught me off guard by sayingg, "Well, we see you had your baby." Nope. No I didn't. I just lost my baby. Can't be too upset about it, they had no idea. :(





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