A question about husbands (or SO's), would love some input
My husband, of course, is having a really rough time. Our loss was just on Friday. I should have been 13 weeks pregnant, but baby had passed around 8-9 weeks along. We've been grieving, but every day seems to get just a tiny bit easier. We've done everything we could for the baby, we had a burial service, we just bought her a little headstone and stone angel to go next to it, we constantly burn a candle around her things in her memory.
My husband feels okay about our baby. He feels at peace and he's accepted what happened. He knows she's in heaven, she's our angel, and we can feel her all around us. But just like me, he heavily mourns over never getting to see her or raise her or do anything that we should have. He's had a rough life, but he's always been able to deal with things well. This he's struggling with. He says he thinks he should be able to cope better. He was leaving for work today and then turned around and called off because he couldn't do it.
Has anyone else had their husbands act this way? I understand his need to have time to grieve, and for wanting to be with me and her memorial, but he says he's not sure if it's normal to grieve this way, to not be able to face work. I don't know, because I'm a sahm and I only know my side of working through this. How long did everyone else's men take off of work? How did you walk them through the grief? I don't know what to tell him when he asks me what's normal. I know everyone grieves differently, but he's looking for reassurance, I guess. We discussed grief counseling but it really wouldn't do much. We're very open, we talk all the time, and we understand that she couldn't stay. He's able to talk to a friend about losing their baby, so he's not alone and he's not penting it up. It just seems to get harder.
Babywearing, co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding, AP, natural birthing, happily married SAH Mommy to Katherine Isabelle, and mommy to our Angel baby, Elizabeth Rose.