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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Guilt

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:48 PM
  • 10 Replies
This is my first post here and want to say I truly admire the strength that you ladies have.
So now my story: I was blessed with my baby boy, Christian, in March. He was born at 24 weeks and 5 days. I had been on hosiptal bed rest for almost two weeks prior because my water broke due to a failed cerclage that i had placed at 13 weeks.. He was in the hospital for 133 days and is wonderful and has no issues.
My issue is I feel immense guilt because I had a loss with my first pregnancy at 16 weeks because of an incompetent cervix. I was broken the day I lost Michael. I almost feel like because I am so in love with my earth son that it makes it seem as though the loss of my first son doesn't matter. It feels like I am betraying my angel baby. Anybody else struggle with this?
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by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Devious103102
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM
1 mom liked this

(((hugs))) Yes, I have similar guilt. Loving your child doesn't mean you don't love and miss your angel, it just means you love your angel enough to appreciate the child you do have with you. 

lainey531
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:05 PM
Thanks so much for understanding.
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Namaste09
by Samantha on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Hugs.
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Don't be guilty.  Michael is so happy for his sibling to be in his family.  He's with you, every day.  He knows you love him.  One day you guys will be together, and what a wonderful reunion it will be, you will be able to know him in a way that you never imagined.  He knows the love and peace that is capable only by God....We greive, but they are waiting patiently in the arms of the Lord.  (((hugs)))

lainey531
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:47 PM
I put his ashes in my son's room so that it's like they're together since if he had lived they would have shared anyway. Not sure if that's kind of weird but it gives a bit of comfort.
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Angela4boys
by Angela on Jan. 25, 2013 at 4:56 PM
1 mom liked this
There is nothing weird in this process, if it means something to you, it's important.

Quoting lainey531:

I put his ashes in my son's room so that it's like they're together since if he had lived they would have shared anyway. Not sure if that's kind of weird but it gives a bit of comfort.
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lainey531
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Thanks
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iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:54 PM

 Hugs, I think you are wonderfully strong, you have been through so much and you were strong for Christian when he needed you most.  And his older brother is still watching over both of ya'll.  I am currently pregnant with what I hope will be my rainbow baby, and I am already feeling the guilt creeping in sometimes.  Hugs.

lainey531
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:32 PM
Praying that you get your beautiful rainbow baby!


Quoting iSMILEheCRIES:

 Hugs, I think you are wonderfully strong, you have been through so much and you were strong for Christian when he needed you most.  And his older brother is still watching over both of ya'll.  I am currently pregnant with what I hope will be my rainbow baby, and I am already feeling the guilt creeping in sometimes.  Hugs.


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cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) just because you love your little blessing dosen't mean you love Michael any less.

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