Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

secret miscarriage

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:03 PM
  • 37 Replies
When i was 17 i had a miscarriage. Its been three years since but the pain only seems to get more difficult to deal with. You see no one knows about it, not even the guy involved. I was about a month into the pregnancy when it happened. I knew it was a month because obviously i missed my period but at the time i didn't know because I'm slightly irregular so i hadn't really thought of the possibility. A month in i started getting very bad cramps and i was spotting. On the night that it happened i was using the bathroom, when i started getting strong cramps to the point i couldn't get up. Because its normal for me to have strong cramps i thought it was just because i had missed a month. After that i felt something slide out and the cramps slowly went away. As i got up i looked down at the toilet and saw what looked like a clot of blood, decided i had started my period, it wasn't until i flushed and the water washed off some of the blood that i realized what had happened. I think a big part if why i haven't told anyone is because i feel so horrible fir what happened. In my mind i flushed away my baby. I dont know how it might sound to other people but its a guilty feeling for me. After that happened i fell into a depression and naturally people noticed it but i guess no one cared to ask. I didnt tell the guy because i felt like it was something i had keep to myself. I dont know why i thought that way at the time i just felt it was better he never found out. I started this post without an introduction because i feel like im drowning in my own pain, because im tired of dealing with this alone, because i want someone to tell me it wasnt my fault to help me live with this. I wouldve done anything to have had my baby despite being so young. And i know maybe it was gods way if saying i just wasnt ready but i would see all these other girls younger than me having babies and i couldnt have mine? Its a pain nan emptiness i just don't know how to deal with. So i ask with a weak heart for help, for someone to talk to because i just cant do it alone anymore. Thank you for taking the time.
-Cyndy
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 7:03 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mrs.Velasquez
by Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 8:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry Hun. I miscarried two years ago, while it was hard at first, it's not to bad for me anymore. Mostly because I've since had another baby who is about to be 13 months old.

Please remember u are not alone in this. Feel free to send me a message if u want to chat.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ttc1rainbow
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 Oh sweetie, you are not alone and it is NOT your fault!! I assure you. Talking about it and telling us about your story is the first step in finding peace & healing. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me :) **Hugs**

Herlache
by Jessie on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this
It doesn't matter what age you are when you lose a baby it is still a loss and you need support I'm glad you found this group I know I am sure glad I did... sorry for your loss ((hugs))
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Thank you ladies so so much. It feels great to know i have support. I dont think i can thank you enough i was so scarred to be judged because if my age at the time and how it happened. Talking about did make a huge difference nd has already helped immensely. Hugs to you all and thank you :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss hun. Your definitely not alone because we have all experienced the heartbreak you are going through.  Hopefully you sharing your story with us will help you with the healing process.

chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:58 PM
Thank you so much. Im sorry for your loss. Im glad
you had another baby i think that helps in the
healing process. My mother went through a similar
situation as yours and having anothet baby
definately helped her. I was too young to consider
trying for another one. I was too busy trying to find
an explanation or comparing and questioning the
fairness of everything. Especially because a couple
of months after it happened my sister, whose only a
year and a couple of months older than me,
became pregnant with my beautiful god daughter.
For a long while i just kept thinking why me you
know? And for a while i kept having these dreams
where i would be holding my baby and then wake
up frantically trying to find my baby. Keeping this to
myself has done me no good



Quoting Mrs.Velasquez:

I'm so sorry Hun. I miscarried two years ago, while it was hard at first, it's not to bad for me anymore. Mostly because I've since had another baby who is about to be 13 months old.



Please remember u are not alone in this. Feel free to send me a message if u want to chat.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Thank you so much and im sorry for your loss as well. My age at the time was always a factor in my decision whether to tell people or not.once i didnt bring it up to someone but in like third person so they wouldnt know it was me and they jusst went off saying how someone at 17 wouldve been a horrible mother. And that just shot me down. So im very glad i found this group because i need to talk to people who will understand me


Quoting mutantninja0813:

You are not alone and we are all here to listen to your story. I was 16 when I lost my first baby and it will be five years in March. I think talking about it will be the first step to your healing.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much :) i will definitely pursue talking about it further because even though opening up did help i feel like theres still a lot for me to do. So i thank you so much for your support and kind words *hugs* :)


Quoting ttc1rainbow:

 Oh sweetie, you are not alone and it is NOT your fault!! I assure you. Talking about it and telling us about your story is the first step in finding peace & healing. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me :) **Hugs**


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:11 PM
Thank you very much i am glad i found this site because i needed support from kind people like yourself. Thank you :)


Quoting Herlache:

It doesn't matter what age you are when you lose a baby it is still a loss and you need support I'm glad you found this group I know I am sure glad I did... sorry for your loss ((hugs))

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chicago1
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:14 PM
The healing process seems so long but talking about it has definitely helped and i honestly cant thank you enough for your support and kind words *hugs* :)


Quoting cali_angel_girl:

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss hun. Your definitely not alone because we have all experienced the heartbreak you are going through.  Hopefully you sharing your story with us will help you with the healing process.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN