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Pregnancy mentioned ....scared, overwhelmed, unsure of what to do

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 7 Replies
I suffered a miscarriage in October, the baby passed at almost 9w and I delivered it at 13w. We found out a little over a week ago that we are expecting again. I'm excited! But I cant shake the looming fear of going through that again.. I'm remaining positive because if I dont it will eat me alive. But days before dh and I found out, I accepted my friends offer to watch their son. Its slowly starting to take a toll on me. What started as 7-430 has turned into 6:30-5 and we dont normally wake up that early. I'm exhausted. Not to mention this little guy is 3.5 and while he's a sweet kid, he's also not potty trained, he holds it all day, cries for his family and just doesn't have a good time here.
I've only been watching him a week but I already wanna throw in the towel. I feel bad for committing to something and then quitting so quickly but I'm so afraid this stress will terminate this pregnancy and I will be bitter toward my friends and their son. We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant and I dont know what to do. Guess I'm looking for input or advice or something. What do you guys think? I'm inclined to let them know tomorrow that I cant do this and give them time to find alternate care.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-7):
MommaBoop922
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Congrtaulations!! Im sorry you are going through so much stress.  A pregnancy after a loss is both physically and emotionally draining and I think that you know what is best.  If you cannot handle it, then there is nothing wrong with saying you can no longer watch him.  You gave it a try and sounds like things changes a lot from the original arrangement.  Plus that is a lot to handle especially if he is not happy when he is with you.  They may be upset but if they are good friends then they should understand at some time or another.  And you are giving them time to find other care for him but I would be sure to set a time for that so they do not drag their feet and try to keep you watching him as long as they can.  Good Luck and I wish you a very healthy and happy pregnancy! I also hope it goes okay with your friends if you do decide to tell them.  

blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Jan. 31, 2013 at 11:55 AM

Congrats.  I would just tell your friend your really sorry but you thought you could handle it and you can't right now.  And also mention that the kid is not happy either and baby would do better with other kids around.  And you can say you can watch the kid until she can find something else and/or give her a time limit like 3 weeks or so.  Good luck!

KenzieQsMommy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:27 PM
Thanks ladies. I'm really frustrated with the lack of understanding I'm getting from family over this. I *think* dh gets it finally (he was seeing dollar signs for a while,until I broke down in tears yesterday) but I get this feeling from my mom that she thinks its a cop out and I just wanna go back to being a sahm and not contributing to the funds. I think she's always found it weird or something that I dont work.
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momofcrazypants
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Being a SAHM with or without kids is a full time job as is. I stay home and my youngest is going to be 3 this March and I can say from first hand experience that there are plenty of difficult days. I love him to pieces and call him "my favorite little boy", but it's just a tough age. If the little guys is so unhapppy where he's crying for his family, I think it's time to have a friendly converstation with your friends about it. It's not good for him to be uspet like that all day long. Maybe he should go to a place where there's other LO's his age to play with. Being little is so hard on them too, they just don't understand what's going on. And, being in a place with other kiddos the same age may help him with his potty training. My DD is now almost 13, but she went to daycare and preschool before Kinder and I will have to say that being in daycare with other kiddos who were potty training really helped her out.

Secondly, Congrats on the pregancy! That's wonderful news!!! I know it's got to be stressful since you lost the baby before this one, but I'm excited for you. We haven't started trying yet, I think this may be our month and I'm already nervous as all get out over it. Just scared to death. But, I want another little baby so bad, so I'm going to try again. Just try to take care of yourself right now. You are your number one priority at the moment. Ignore whatever everyone else thinks or says, when you strip it all away the only thing that's really important is what's best for you and your family.

KenzieQsMommy
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Thank you. I just had a conversation with his dad about his sons anxiety, he says they're all feeling that way. My dd is here with him and she's his age and had been potty trained for about a year now but it has had no impact on the little boy I'm watching. He wont even go in his diaper.
I just think he'd do better, and they'd all probably do better, if they found a sitter that could come over and he'd be in his own environment.
And thank you! I'm scared but I cant let it override our desire for another healthy baby. That's all I want it a HEALTHY baby. So I need to do everything I'm my power to accomplish that.
Good luck to you in you ttc endeavours!!


Quoting momofcrazypants:

Being a SAHM with or without kids is a full time job as is. I stay home and my youngest is going to be 3 this March and I can say from first hand experience that there are plenty of difficult days. I love him to pieces and call him "my favorite little boy", but it's just a tough age. If the little guys is so unhapppy where he's crying for his family, I think it's time to have a friendly converstation with your friends about it. It's not good for him to be uspet like that all day long. Maybe he should go to a place where there's other LO's his age to play with. Being little is so hard on them too, they just don't understand what's going on. And, being in a place with other kiddos the same age may help him with his potty training. My DD is now almost 13, but she went to daycare and preschool before Kinder and I will have to say that being in daycare with other kiddos who were potty training really helped her out.

Secondly, Congrats on the pregancy! That's wonderful news!!! I know it's got to be stressful since you lost the baby before this one, but I'm excited for you. We haven't started trying yet, I think this may be our month and I'm already nervous as all get out over it. Just scared to death. But, I want another little baby so bad, so I'm going to try again. Just try to take care of yourself right now. You are your number one priority at the moment. Ignore whatever everyone else thinks or says, when you strip it all away the only thing that's really important is what's best for you and your family.


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Angela4boys
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Yeahhhhh!!! Congrats!

If it were me, I would come clean, tell her you are pregnant, and you would appreciate her keeping this quiet for now. Tell her that while you live her son, she is going to need to find some alternative care. You aren't feeling well, and need your rest.
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momofcrazypants
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:51 PM

That's wonderful, poor little guy. :(  My DS would freak if he went to daycare. He's the king of this house! Lol. You're right, maybe a sitter in his own environment would be the best for him.


Quoting KenzieQsMommy:

Thank you. I just had a conversation with his dad about his sons anxiety, he says they're all feeling that way. My dd is here with him and she's his age and had been potty trained for about a year now but it has had no impact on the little boy I'm watching. He wont even go in his diaper.
I just think he'd do better, and they'd all probably do better, if they found a sitter that could come over and he'd be in his own environment.
And thank you! I'm scared but I cant let it override our desire for another healthy baby. That's all I want it a HEALTHY baby. So I need to do everything I'm my power to accomplish that.
Good luck to you in you ttc endeavours!!


Quoting momofcrazypants:

Being a SAHM with or without kids is a full time job as is. I stay home and my youngest is going to be 3 this March and I can say from first hand experience that there are plenty of difficult days. I love him to pieces and call him "my favorite little boy", but it's just a tough age. If the little guys is so unhapppy where he's crying for his family, I think it's time to have a friendly converstation with your friends about it. It's not good for him to be uspet like that all day long. Maybe he should go to a place where there's other LO's his age to play with. Being little is so hard on them too, they just don't understand what's going on. And, being in a place with other kiddos the same age may help him with his potty training. My DD is now almost 13, but she went to daycare and preschool before Kinder and I will have to say that being in daycare with other kiddos who were potty training really helped her out.

Secondly, Congrats on the pregancy! That's wonderful news!!! I know it's got to be stressful since you lost the baby before this one, but I'm excited for you. We haven't started trying yet, I think this may be our month and I'm already nervous as all get out over it. Just scared to death. But, I want another little baby so bad, so I'm going to try again. Just try to take care of yourself right now. You are your number one priority at the moment. Ignore whatever everyone else thinks or says, when you strip it all away the only thing that's really important is what's best for you and your family.




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