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Miscarriage a year ago, after a heartbeat, and it still hurts...

It was a year ago yesterday that I MC naturally.My hubby and I had been ttc for 2.5 years with no luck.Doctors said we were both perfectly fine according to all of the tests.We found out we were pregnant on Christmas Day 12-25-11 which was so freaking awesome!i had my first OB appt and ultrasound on 1-18-12 and there was a very healthy heartbeat.Im a nurse, so I knew at that point, there was less than a 5% of MC.I started spotting on 1-26-12 and freaked out.Went to the OB the next day and found out the baby had died 2-3 days before.I was devastated.I had a natural complete MC on 1-31-12.the gestational sac was still intact and you could actually barely see a little kidney bean sized baby in the sac.My OB didn't believe me which really kind of pissed me off bc I love my OB/ GYN.Anyways....I have yet to conceive since and am still really hurting.Its been a year.Im 27, young and according to my doc, perfectly fertile.So is my hubby.I have watched friend after friend get pregnant and everything go perfect.Im so happy for them, but it hurts a lot.As much as you know it's not your fault, you ask, what did I do that was so wrong to deserve this?Im just pissed and hurt.Hubby and I will be starting IVF this month but I almost want to back out bc I am so scared that I will go through the torture of the IVF process and MC again, if I even do conceive.I used to think I was really strong and not very sensitive, but I don't want to ever go through that again.Its almost like I have MC PTSD and I haven't even gone through anything close to what some of you ladies have.I feel so weak...even after this long.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:33 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:37 AM

 Thanks for answering my question because I haven't received my results from the testing from the doctor as of yet. I know something was not right but I just need to place closure on the hole in my heart. I prayed and asked God to take the baby if something was wrong and this is what happen. I am grateful to God that I was not later in my pregnancy because I don't think I could handle going that long with a pregnancy and losing my baby.

Quoting daniellerjones:



Quoting Jones3536:

I just want to know did the doctors say why they feel the baby heartbeat stop? I have had this question in my head for a while because this happened to me. I mc af 15 weeks and I thought all was fine because I went to the doctor that week. Someone give me some feedback on why this happened.



The doctors always say chromosomal and that something hadn't developed properly so it's natures way preventing severe deformities.As for post 12 wk M/C, I've heard that blood clots forming behind or in the placenta can cause this as well as a vital organ not developing just right.I don't like any of the explanations that the docs give because they are generally very vague.

Im really sorry about your loss.I think it's even harder to go through that after the end of the first trimester.Im a nurse and I used to work at an OB office.I had a young 22 year old girl who was 6 months pregnant and her baby's heart just stopped beating.The doctor couldn't find a reason why even after doing a bunch of tests that came back normal.Its tough and definitely NOT fair.I keep telling myself things happen for a reason...but it's hard to even swallow that.


by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:24 AM
I'm so sorry. We lost a daughter at 16w. We saw her hb and heard it many times. I was even feeling her move. Makes it so hard. Hugs and prayers
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