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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Found out last night that our baby's heart isnt beating anymore.

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM
  • 30 Replies

Hi ladies..    I'm Kami..  Mom to a 20 month old.   I am 10 weeks  preggo today.  However, last night we found out that the baby stopped growing just after 8 weeks and its heart is no longer beating.   My husband and I are devastated.   We got married in June and tried for five months to concieve.  We found out New Years Day.   We were over the moon excited.  Even put an offer in on a house because we "needed" a bigger one for baby.   


I dont know what I am going to do as far as let nature take its course, have a D&C or get a pill to induce the miscarriage.     I am afraid to leave the the house because what if I just randomly start bleeding.   My doctor wanted me to come into today to "discuss my options"..  But I told her I need a day to process.  Ill meet with her tomorrow.   I just cant stop crying..   This is our second loss.   Why does this keep happening? 

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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:39 AM
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firstimepreg30
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:42 AM
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Why can crack prostitues have a baby?   We did this one right...  We were married..  Planned...  Tried...   I jsut dont understand.  I wanted this baby sooooo bad..  I just want to yell at God and say ..  I'm a good mommy this baby would have had a good life..  Why why did you have to take him or her?   Why?

firstimepreg30
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:46 AM
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in 33, my husband is 38.   I feel like this was our last chance.    Were not getting any younger.  I wanted my kids 2 years apart.   Why why why.   Ill probaby post rants on here all day.   thanks for reading.   

Herlache
by Jessie on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:47 AM
I'm sorry for your loss! We all ask ourselves those questions. It always seems the ones who don't try or don't want kids have tons of them and us that want them can't. It's a never ending cycle. Hopefully you'll get your rainbow baby soon!
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Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM
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 I'm 34, my husband is 40 and we've lost four babies. I posted a thread a few weeks back called faith and loss asking for help with my faith after my losses. The ladies posted a lot of helpful things on there, if you want to search for it. The really helped me. I have had one still birth, and three miscarriages. Two of the miscarriages were natural and the last one, like you the baby stopped growing and the heart stopped beating. I chose a D&C because i wanted to have the baby tested. Which we did, and the baby had trisomy 15, which is incompatiable with life. I say it is up to you which option you choose. You can wait and see if you body handles it naturally, but it doesn't always. If you don't want the testing, you can use the pill to induce, several women on this site have done so. Or if you want to test the baby to see why the heart stopped, I would recommend a D&C. I'm so sorry for your loss...there isn't anything we can say to make it better. But please know that you aren't alone. That we've all lost babies and we know how you feel. If you want to message, please do so. I'm here, and so are these amazing ladies. They've really helped me through some dark places.

chicago1
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:54 AM

im so sorry sweetie :( i understand how you feel and all the whys my heart breaks for you. sometimes things happen we cant understand and its not in any way our fault. just hold on to faith and know that things as hard as they may seem right now will get better. im praying for you if you need to chat im here for you. *hugs*


Quoting firstimepreg30:

Why can crack prostitues have a baby?   We did this one right...  We were married..  Planned...  Tried...   I jsut dont understand.  I wanted this baby sooooo bad..  I just want to yell at God and say ..  I'm a good mommy this baby would have had a good life..  Why why did you have to take him or her?   Why?



firstimepreg30
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:55 AM

thank you.  Will they test the baby?   IF its only my second loss.  I remember with my first they wouldnt.   But I want to know what went wrong.  Everything was going soooo good.   HB was strong  my HCG levels were great.  I jsut dont understand.  I feel like such a failure..  Even though I know it was nothing I did.  I just feel so useless right now.     

Quoting Cal2006:

 I'm 34, my husband is 40 and we've lost four babies. I posted a thread a few weeks back called faith and loss asking for help with my faith after my losses. The ladies posted a lot of helpful things on there, if you want to search for it. The really helped me. I have had one still birth, and three miscarriages. Two of the miscarriages were natural and the last one, like you the baby stopped growing and the heart stopped beating. I chose a D&C because i wanted to have the baby tested. Which we did, and the baby had trisomy 15, which is incompatiable with life. I say it is up to you which option you choose. You can wait and see if you body handles it naturally, but it doesn't always. If you don't want the testing, you can use the pill to induce, several women on this site have done so. Or if you want to test the baby to see why the heart stopped, I would recommend a D&C. I'm so sorry for your loss...there isn't anything we can say to make it better. But please know that you aren't alone. That we've all lost babies and we know how you feel. If you want to message, please do so. I'm here, and so are these amazing ladies. They've really helped me through some dark places.


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baby7810
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:56 AM
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I'm soo sorry sweetie. It is super hard. Feel free to yell and get it out.
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Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:28 AM

 I can't believe they woulnd't test the last one.  My doctor said that she wanted to test the baby, when she first told me about the heartbeat. I don't think they have a right to refuse you that. Just tell them that you want them to. But given that it is your second, they should. It gave me some comfort to know that nature was doing what it was supposed to, because the baby had trisomy 15. I'm sorry for your losses and I'm sorry that they refused you on your last one. If it was me, I wouldn't let them tell me no on this one. It is hard enough going through a miscarriage,  but not knowing why makes it worse.  We are all here for you sweetie.

firstimepreg30
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 10:30 AM

how long does it take to get the results back?

Quoting Cal2006:

 I can't believe they woulnd't test the last one.  My doctor said that she wanted to test the baby, when she first told me about the heartbeat. I don't think they have a right to refuse you that. Just tell them that you want them to. But given that it is your second, they should. It gave me some comfort to know that nature was doing what it was supposed to, because the baby had trisomy 15. I'm sorry for your losses and I'm sorry that they refused you on your last one. If it was me, I wouldn't let them tell me no on this one. It is hard enough going through a miscarriage,  but not knowing why makes it worse.  We are all here for you sweetie.


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Angela4boys
by Angela on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:18 AM
I am do sorry for your loss :(. This is not your last chance. Please don't feel like that hun :(
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