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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Brokenness....

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:26 AM
  • 13 Replies

So I wrote a poem for my children, I hope one day to see them again..


I close my eyes, not wanting to be there.
Always consumed by pain an fear.
From the age of ten, Pain lingered on my skin.
That's when it began, my life altered by sin.
He laid hands on me, and the abuse began.
All innocent thoughts scattered, and far away ran.
It happened again... And again.
Each time, I felt more pain.
Tears ran down my face...
Footsteps echo, my heart begins to race.
My heart breaking more each time
My arms, now marked with crimson lines.
A few years have gone by...
Now more than ever, I wanted to die.          
My body bruised and battered,
My mind telling me "I don't matter."
I look in the mirror, and all I see.
How can any one, be as broken as me?
Split in two... One side dying,
The other side crying.
I ask the reflection " why do I feel this pain."
Turning away I whisper " what do I have to gain."
Numb, filled with pain and misery,
The sight of my reflection is killing me.
If you listen carefully,
You'll hear my heart breaking.
If you look carefully,
You'll see my smile fading.
If you hug me...
You'll feel my tears against your chest.    
If you know me....
You'll know I'm slowly dying.
My heart is hanging by a thread,
Wishing, I were already dead.
I feel like I do nothing right.
I long to be held tight...
Darkness falls over the room,
I silently await my doom.
Frosty winds, cool my burning face,
As your fingers, my body trace.
I feel myself, crashing to the ground.
I feel myself, fading without a sound.
Little did I know, what lived in me.
I would have tried harder, to break free.
A child... A baby, my daughter or son.
If I knew, I would have run.                         
I am unpure, and labelled unholy.
Of your love, my child, I was unworthy.
Seeing you go, was the hardest part.
The feeling of my heart, savagely, being torn apart.
These tears, that no longer fall.
Your name, my child, the lord had to call.
It's you, whom he had to take home.
And now, I roam this world, completely alone.
Empty, shattered, broken, unknown.
Rejoice in God, they always say.
But everyday, I find it harder to obey.
Without my child, I have no life.
These sharp, stabbing pains, that could only be a knife.
Satan stole my soul, Jesus make me whole.        
I want this pain to leave, now.
To you lord, im willing to bow.
Either that or end my life today.
Anything to take this pain away


So March 22nd is coming up... I will be at school that day but i really want to do something for my child, I was thinking A cake and candle? or is that just silly? I don't know how to handle this... I just.. I'm really battling

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Angela4boys
by Angela on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:32 AM
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)

Of course it's not silly to pay tribute to your baby on special days! You are a Mama forever (((hugs)))
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momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:38 AM

Thanks for sharing. (hugs)

Babybear1836
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:39 AM


Quoting mutantninja0813:

Great job with the poem. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through and your loss. If cake and a candle is silly then I am silly. My baby's birthday is March 19 and even though it makes me sad I like to celebrate it.

Yeah, I just, I can't let it go by without doing something, I will be sure to think of you on her birthday, I am here if you need to talk ever.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

Babybear1836
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:40 AM


Quoting Angela4boys:

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)

Of course it's not silly to pay tribute to your baby on special days! You are a Mama forever (((hugs)))

thanks, that means a lot to me, most people told me I'm not a mom if I dont hvae kids so I should just stop trying ot be one, It hurts, you know? 

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

Namaste09
by Samantha on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Hugs I'm sorry for your loss an everything you have had to go through.
It's not silly at all pay tribute to your baby however you choose.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Angela4boys
by Angela on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this
(((Hugs))) hopefully they never have to understand the pain. You are most certainly a Mom.

Quoting Babybear1836:


Quoting Angela4boys:

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)



Of course it's not silly to pay tribute to your baby on special days! You are a Mama forever (((hugs)))

thanks, that means a lot to me, most people told me I'm not a mom if I dont hvae kids so I should just stop trying ot be one, It hurts, you know? 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Babybear1836
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:45 AM


Quoting Namaste09:

Hugs I'm sorry for your loss an everything you have had to go through.
It's not silly at all pay tribute to your baby however you choose.

thanks :) My mom thinks it's stupid, she says I never met the child so I shouldnt care... 

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

Babybear1836
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:47 AM
1 mom liked this

(((hugs))) thanks, That genuinely means a lot to me

Quoting Angela4boys:

(((Hugs))) hopefully they never have to understand the pain. You are most certainly a Mom.

Quoting Babybear1836:


Quoting Angela4boys:

Beautiful! Thanks for sharing :)



Of course it's not silly to pay tribute to your baby on special days! You are a Mama forever (((hugs)))

thanks, that means a lot to me, most people told me I'm not a mom if I dont hvae kids so I should just stop trying ot be one, It hurts, you know? 


Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

Namaste09
by Samantha on Feb. 25, 2013 at 10:31 AM
People say such dumb things. It is your baby so of course you should care, as moms we love our baby's right from the start.

Quoting Babybear1836:


Quoting Namaste09:

Hugs I'm sorry for your loss an everything you have had to go through.

It's not silly at all pay tribute to your baby however you choose.

thanks :) My mom thinks it's stupid, she says I never met the child so I shouldnt care... 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Babybear1836
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 10:41 AM

not all mom's do... my mother wishes she had me aborted

Quoting Namaste09:

People say such dumb things. It is your baby so of course you should care, as moms we love our baby's right from the start.

Quoting Babybear1836:


Quoting Namaste09:

Hugs I'm sorry for your loss an everything you have had to go through.

It's not silly at all pay tribute to your baby however you choose.

thanks :) My mom thinks it's stupid, she says I never met the child so I shouldnt care... 


Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds

Have a great day and be blessed.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
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