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Am I Too Old For This!

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:49 AM
  • 22 Replies

 I signed up on this site to see if there are other women out there like me.   I am (today) going through my 4th miscarriage.   I'm 42 years old and have been trying to have a baby for 2 years now.  I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter from my previous marriage with no complications. I was 31.  My m/cs have occured at 10w, 6w, 5w, & today I'm at 6 weeks again.   I was told by my doctor that he wouldn't be concerned until I've miscarriaged 3 times and wouldn't refer my to a fertility specialist til I was unable to conceive for a year.  I was 2 months away from that year b4 this one.   I'm very discouraged and decided I wouldn't talk to the doctor about this one because I'm afraid my time has run out to even have a baby.   Any advice?    

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:49 AM
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by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:36 AM
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I'm so sorry for your losses, you have found a great support group though. 

by Angela on Feb. 28, 2013 at 8:25 AM
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I have always heard that after 35, they should refer you to a fertility specialist after 6 months without luck.  If you want a baby, and it sounds like you do, I would get a second opinion, get a referral to a fertility specialist, and get going right away. You ask if it's too late, or are you too old...if you are having periods, and obviously ovulating, it's not too late if a baby is something you want.  Might it come with extra work, and heartache...yes, but worth it in the end.  Nature will let you know when your time is up, menopause...but until then, put up your best fight!  I'm glad you have found this group. 

I'm so sorry for your losses.  (((hugs)))

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 8:30 AM
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I am sorry for all of your losses. There are a few of us on here who are 35+. You're still having a menstrual cycle and still gettting pregnant, so that the positive of this. Now you've got to find out why you're losing them, if you still want to have a baby. I know that seems like a tough decision now, especially since you're grieving, but maybe you should start looking for a doctor that is going to be more proactive for you. A second opinion may be a good idea. If they don't seem like they're taking this situation seriously, keep shopping! They work for you. (hugs)

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 8:46 AM
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 My fertility doctor didn't need a referral. My doctor didn't want to refer me to one either because I had only had one miscarriage (and one stillbirth, but we knew the reason for the stillbirth) and it had only been 6 months without conceiving. But I decided to do it anyways.The fertility doctor did a lot of testing and made me feel that he was taking me concerns and my desires seriously. Fertility doctors don't just try to get you pregnant, they also try to determine the causes of your losses. I don't think it is too late, like the other ladies have said you are having periods and getting pregnant. Know that we are here for you, and I'm so sorry for your losses. I have had four myself, and I know how much it hurts.

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 10:21 AM
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I'd talk to a different doctor. Considering this is your 4th loss and your "advanced maternal age" they should be doing a bit more monitoring and helping.  Good thoughts.

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:14 PM
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to help you feel better I turned 43 in Dec. & had my 8th baby in Jan. I did have 3 losses prior to her, but at our age that is normal cause the quality of eggs. but also have you had your progesterone checked ? I have used progesterone suppositories for my last 3 pregnancies. . you may have hormone issues. I had my 6th baby at 38, my 7th at 41, & now 8th at 43. we were going to ttc again, but I  had to have a emergency hysterectomy after my baby so no more kids for me :(  you should see another dr... one who will test & find answers... good luck & sorry for your losses..

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:26 PM
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I'm 40 and 12 weeks pg.  Before this I had 4 miscarriages in about a year.  I heard my bio clock ticking with EVERY heartbeat.  I gave up being vegan.  I tried fertility monitors, test strips, I took clomid.  My fertility wasn't the issue.  I was getting pregnant.  It was... who knows.  Luckily, I was referred to an AWESOME ob/gyn that ran every possible blood test he could think of.  17 vials of blood at once!  turned out I develpoed a clotting disorder and my body was turning against the baby.  Now I take a daily injection of Lovenox, and things SEEM to be progressing.  ( I have an 11 and 12 year old as well- from a previous marriage)

A few things I learned.  Ovulation predictor kits are not as cut and dry as the box will lead you to believe.  I never had a positive result like what they say you can expect.  But, obviously, I ovulated!  If you know your body, listen to it.  Even though it can be hard to trust what your gut tells you.  

I would find another doctor.  It doesn't sound like you have an issue with fertility.  You are GETTING pregnant.  Maybe the quality of eggs needs to be improved.  Maybe your diet needs tweaking.  Maybe stress is part of the problem.  Maybe you have developed an issue that can be corrected.  Our bodies are NOT the same as they were in our 20's and 30's.  

That being said, I have an appot with my Dr in an hour and half, and I'm terrified that they won't fiond the heartbeat.  My pg belly tells me otherwise; but the fear never goes away after so many losses.  I still check the paper every time I use the restroom for blood.  I won't have a peaceful heart until this baby is in my arms.  I feel for you.  Message me if you want.

by Desiree-admin on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:42 PM
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I'm sorry for your losses.  Have you thought about going to a different doctor for a 2nd opinion?  If you were close to a year that is still a long time.  And have the doctors ran all the tests they can?  I'm sorry they aren't helping figure out why.  *hugs*

by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 3:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry. I agree with the other ladies though... at 42 though they start testing and such for infertility after 6 months. I'd get a second opinion! Good luck!

by on Mar. 2, 2013 at 3:42 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry. I can relate.

i agree with the other women, to get another doctor and seek out a specialist. You want a baby and deserve to know what is going on. Good Luck.

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