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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Almost a year........

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:45 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hi ladies,

It's been a while, I don't come in here often.  I find myself slipping back if I read too many posts in this group.  It is just so sad and makes me angry that their are so many of us that NEED a group like this....

Anyway, that being said.....Mar 29th will be the one year anniversary of the loss of our second baby. Gabriel.  (For those that don't know we also lost a baby in Oct. 2011, just 5 months earlier)

I am beyond ready to try again.  I have mentioned it to my husband a handful of times and each time he just kind of glosses over the discussion or says he doesn't want to lose me if we lost another baby. (Not physically lose me, but mentally if that makes sense)

How do I talk to him about this again?  How do I let him know that I dont want the lossses of our babies to be the "end" of the story?  I am leaps and bounds away from where I was even 6 months ago.  I have accepted the fact that our babies are gone.  I do still get sad, this time last year I was pregnant.....now I am not, nor do I have a new baby.

Anyway, I guess i just needed to vent a little.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:45 PM
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Replies (1-8):
momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:49 AM

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. As far as dear hubbie goes, I'd just try to talk to him about it as much as you can. Keep the lines open. Of course he's worried about you emotionally, but it sounds like this is something that you desperately want and it's worth the risk. I think we're all going through something similar. I lost a baby in Nov, we have two other kiddos and I want to try again. It's scary. DH worries about me emotionally as well. It's a hard situation to be in for you and him. Wishing you guys the best of luck!

Amy_M
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Thank you and the best to you as well.  We also have two children.  I think I am just kind of scared to bring it for fear of being let down by him saying no. 

Quoting momofcrazypants:

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. As far as dear hubbie goes, I'd just try to talk to him about it as much as you can. Keep the lines open. Of course he's worried about you emotionally, but it sounds like this is something that you desperately want and it's worth the risk. I think we're all going through something similar. I lost a baby in Nov, we have two other kiddos and I want to try again. It's scary. DH worries about me emotionally as well. It's a hard situation to be in for you and him. Wishing you guys the best of luck!


mommyofnoah208
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:52 PM
I am sorry :( it is difficult. I think just staying open with him and letting him know that not trying again will also be hard for you emotionally and that fear is a natural part of ttc again after a loss. Good lick and hoping you both agree on whats best for you and that you will get your rainbow baby
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momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:12 PM

I understand. We struggle with it too. There's always some sort of "risk" though, even with healthy pregnancies. Keep working in him! :)


Quoting Amy_M:

Thank you and the best to you as well.  We also have two children.  I think I am just kind of scared to bring it for fear of being let down by him saying no. 

Quoting momofcrazypants:

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. As far as dear hubbie goes, I'd just try to talk to him about it as much as you can. Keep the lines open. Of course he's worried about you emotionally, but it sounds like this is something that you desperately want and it's worth the risk. I think we're all going through something similar. I lost a baby in Nov, we have two other kiddos and I want to try again. It's scary. DH worries about me emotionally as well. It's a hard situation to be in for you and him. Wishing you guys the best of luck!




busyizzybsmom
by Betsy on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:34 PM

Hi Amy! I... yeah. After our miscarriage in 2011, we were blessed with a rainbow baby but even after that success, we're still not completely sure about trying for another baby. My husband has the same concerns - even if we have an uncomplicated pregnancy, will I go crazy with worry the whole time? And what if we have another miscarriage? I won't pretend that our situation is as hard as yours after two successive miscarriages, but, yeah. My husband is worried about the same things. I do know though that I need him 100% to get through another pregnancy, so I'm trying very hard not to pressure him on this. I want him to be completely sure and ready to go on another pregnancy. If he was only 80% there and something went wrong, I know I'd be tempted to be bitter toward him for letting me get into "that" situation again. So his backing is vital to me and my sanity during pregnancy. Not to mention afterward, because I would certainly need him then too! Anyway, hugs to you and I hope you guys can get on the same page soon.

Amy_M
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:18 PM

Thank you.  I feel the same way...I want him in it 100%, he has kind of said if it happens it does, he sometimes will take "precautions" against pregnancy other times not.  (we use the pull-out method if that helps..LOL  TMI sorry)

I think he just isn't sure.  He kind of flip flops sometimes when it comes up in passing.  It has been a while since we actually sat down and talked it all out.

Quoting busyizzybsmom:

Hi Amy! I... yeah. After our miscarriage in 2011, we were blessed with a rainbow baby but even after that success, we're still not completely sure about trying for another baby. My husband has the same concerns - even if we have an uncomplicated pregnancy, will I go crazy with worry the whole time? And what if we have another miscarriage? I won't pretend that our situation is as hard as yours after two successive miscarriages, but, yeah. My husband is worried about the same things. I do know though that I need him 100% to get through another pregnancy, so I'm trying very hard not to pressure him on this. I want him to be completely sure and ready to go on another pregnancy. If he was only 80% there and something went wrong, I know I'd be tempted to be bitter toward him for letting me get into "that" situation again. So his backing is vital to me and my sanity during pregnancy. Not to mention afterward, because I would certainly need him then too! Anyway, hugs to you and I hope you guys can get on the same page soon.


blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:44 PM

*hugs*  I understand needing to take a break a bit.  Have you thought about going to grief counseling together.  That way you can both learn how you both have grieved different and get to the root of the fears and compromise.  

busyizzybsmom
by Betsy on Mar. 1, 2013 at 3:17 PM

Yeah, we both agree that we *will* try again, but we're not sure when... this summer maybe? We'll see... I'm just waiting for him to completely warm up to the idea and be ready. :)

Quoting Amy_M:

Thank you.  I feel the same way...I want him in it 100%, he has kind of said if it happens it does, he sometimes will take "precautions" against pregnancy other times not.  (we use the pull-out method if that helps..LOL  TMI sorry)

I think he just isn't sure.  He kind of flip flops sometimes when it comes up in passing.  It has been a while since we actually sat down and talked it all out.

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