So, dh and I are expecting after 4 miscarriages last year and finding out that I have a blood disorder that was probably causing it. Oh, and I'm 40.
Anyhow, we went to our 12 week appointment yesterday. I was terrified that they wouldn't find a heartbeat and I would be going through another miscariage; but there it was, the thrumming of little horses in my belly!!! YAY!
Only then we get the "talk" from my dr about advanced maternal age and the expiration date on my eggs. UGH.
Now, dh and I had talked about amnio's and screening. My understanding was that we agreed that if anything was wrong, they would more than likely be able to tell from US. (Dh is a biomedical engineer, so he kinda knows what he's talking about)
But NO! DH throws me under the bus in front of the Dr and says he thinks we should do the amnio. :/
So, I agree to have it done. Dr says he's never had a miscarriage from an amnio, blahblahblah.
But, what do I DO with the information if it isn't good?? How am I supposed to wait two whole weeks to find out the results?
I guess I was really just looking forward to being able to take a breath and relax and ENJOY this pregnancy. Now I'm even more stressed.
I had the ultrasound with my angel and that is how we found out she had a fatal birth defect at 11 weeks and carried her to 38 weeks when she was born sleeping. I am pregnant with my rainbow now and we did the same ultrasound and got a good health result. I did have the amnio with my angel and I was so scared of the small cramping I had. The waiting can be hard but you just try and distract yourself. If you don't want to do the amnio don't let them pressure you into it. With the ultrasound and blood tests that would be good and you can't do an amnio until around 16 weeks anyway.
I have not been in this situation yet but am "advanced maternal age" too. 35. I'd like to think if there was a reason to have it done, I'd lean towards doing it. That's easier said than done. It's easy to sit back and blab about what you think you'd do if you were the other person. I just don't know honey. I think you're going to make the right decision for you and your sweet baby. There isn't a right or wrong approach to this at all. It's all about what you feel comfortable with. I can understand how you'd feel that DH threw you under the bus, I'm sorry that he didn't talk to you first before saying that. (hugs)
Good luck and praying for everything to be ok and that you will decide what is best for you
I'm sorry. :( I do not like amnios, simply because any increased risk of a miscarriage is a risk that I am not willing to take. If anything showed up wrong on the test it wouldn't change anything anyway, except maybe make me worry more because of the inaccuracies in some of them.
Out of curiosity, what blood disorder do you have? I have FVL....
If you are uneasy, or want to change your mind, you can. I would talk to hubby...these things need to be discussed beyond the Drs office.
Hang in there mama!
With my DS who is now 10, they suggested to me to get one, telling me they wanted to see how bad his down syndrome was and to confirm he had spina bifida. They said, don't worry you arent too far along, you can terminate. I said I would do the test, but in no way would I terminate. Everything came back fine. He is now a pain in my butt that drives me nuts. I honestly wouldn't have gotten it had I not been pressured into it. It wasn't going to change how I felt about him, if he did have something wrong. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, I wouldn't. Hang in there!
Are you in my Sept due date group? A mommy asked a similar question this morning. I would recommend 2 things BEFORE you decide on the animo- again this is my personal opinion and an opinion of someone who just went to have a CVS done and was told not to do the CVS by the doc. Anyways food for thought, most docs offer a quad screen which is just a blood test that could maybe sorta tell if you are at risk of downs (some false positives occure). But there is a new test called Mt21 which is a blood test to test for downs and it is highly accurate. I would recommend the Mt21 and the NT ultrasound... then if those test show a chance of downs THEN do the amnio. Downs is not my "worry" so I didn't do the Mt21 test but the MFM doc really recommended it. Plus you are the perfect gestation to do the NT ultrasound where they measure the baby's neck, nose, and checks. Good luck, I hope you figure out what you need to do to be happy. Can I tell you a secret- my CVS post is on here a few pages back, different problems but the same questions you are asking. For me the answer came reading all the other mom's responses. I found myself (sorry ladies I gotta be honest here) annoyed with all the people telling me not to do the test, and connecting with the moms who told YES do the test and I figured that was my answer (ended up not having the test becuase the doc was a moron, but I would have had the test if he would have done it right then and there).
I agree with this. There are just to many risk that go along with an amnio and the outcome wouldn't change how I felt about my child. Good luck with whatever you decided to do hun ((hugs))
Quoting Angela4boys:
I wouldn't do it myself, only because anything major enough would be seen in ultrasound, and major or not wouldnt change the outcome of the pregnancy.
If you are uneasy, or want to change your mind, you can. I would talk to hubby...these things need to be discussed beyond the Drs office.
Hang in there mama!
When are you due? I'm 12w3d today!
I'm Due Sept 7. Congratulations!
Quoting echupko:
I personally wouldn't do it. But you have to do what's best for you.
When are you due? I'm 12w3d today!
Excited and Edgy.....this is what I got this morning. *preg mentioned***
- KylesMonkey
on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:07 AM