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First time doing anything like this

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM
  • 10 Replies

I have never participated in a site such as this, but today I was feeling as though change would be beneficial.

My husband and I miscarried last May.  We were not planning on trying to get pregnant until after the summer, but concieved unexpectantly on my birthday in March.  We were thrilled and terrified all the same time.  All I thought about was Baby, Baby, Baby.  Then out of know where at 12 weeks we miscarried.

That was 10 months ago.  My birthday is 11 days away, the anniversary of our first pregnancy...and still we havent concieved. 

Every month my emotions are like a rollercoaster.  Anxious, excited, positive, nervous, stressed, disappointed.  Today was end of the stessed and the beginning of the disappointed.  One day late, I tested negative this morning using a home pregnancy test.

None of my friends or family members have had any trouble getting pregnant.  I do however, have friends whom have miscarried and are very supportive.  I also have friends whom never experienced either situation and I am finding myself not calling them as often.  No one can ease your pain or your worries.  Phrases like "It will happen when it is supposed to happen," "It just wasn't time yet," "At least you know you can get pregnant," and the one makes me the most irritated "Dont worry and just stop trying," are phrases I would be ok with never hearing again.  Bottom line, I'm devistated and tired of being depressed and disappointed!

Now am here, trying to find comfort it the advice and stories of women whom know how I am feeling.

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:44 AM

So far, I've only lost one baby. I have two other healthy kiddos- 13 and 3. But everything you're describing emotionally, I've felt. Losing a baby or babies, is one of the hardest things we ever have to go through and I can't describe the pain of it all. I too dislike comments like that, I think we all do on some level or another. This is a great group though, and I'm glad you found us. (hugs)

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Been there.  ...and No, it does not help to hear ANY of that stuff.  Especially when every day you have thoughts about IF your are ovulating, IF that might have been implantation bleeding, blahblahblah.  Nope.  None of that helps.

I was so baby crazy that I took fertility tests, used fertility strips, ovulation predictor strips, took clomid to improve egg quality.  And stressed every month about getting pregnant... and then about STAYING pregnant.  Googleing site after site after site about getting pregnant.  It was HARD.  

You still might be pregnant.  I'd wait and see if your period comes and then test again.  Hormone levels might not be readable yet.  

Good luck.

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:00 PM

Thanks girls :)

Last month was the first month since June that my period was late.  It usually comes one day before my estimated start date or the day of.  I took a pregnancy test right away and it was negative, hoping I just tested too early I took another 3 days later..still negative.  I started on the 5th late day.  So, this month, im trying not to get my hope up like I did last month.  I was so sure I was pregnant, and then there was aunt flow.  

by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:24 PM

I also can't stand the phrases "It will happen with it is suppose to happen", and "it wasn't time yet".  I luckily have one healthy baby and we were not trying for a second but found out we were pregnant a week ago and 4 days later I miscarried.  Everyone keeps saying it just wasn't the right time, it will happen, you have a healthy baby already it can happen again.  I don't want it to happen again I wanted the one that I was suppose to have before God took it from me.

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:28 PM
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I hate at least you know you can get pregnant. It took 4 years to get pregnant and just because I did once doesn't mean I will again. It's hard to just relax and not think about it. So tired of the ups and downs each month.
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:53 PM
I am so sorry. Going through a loss and then also ttc again is so hard and emotionally draining. It is also hard when nobody around gets it. Welcome to the group and hope you find support here. Good luck
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by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:54 PM

I'm so sorry. :( We tried for over two years for our 2nd daughter and that rollercoaster of emotions is all too familiar. I used to dream that I got up and took a test and it was positive, and then I would realize in the dream that that was a dream. And then I'd dream that I got up and took a test and it was positive, and then realize that that was a dream too....and on and on, multiple levels of dreaming and waking and taking tests and then finally really waking up and taking a test and it turning up negative. All the while with friends getting pregnant left and right. It ended uptaking a few different meds and every TTC tip in the book but we finally did get our little Eva and she's a bubbly 3 year old now. :) I hope you get your two pink lines soon and that it sticks! Hugs!

by Desiree-admin on Mar. 1, 2013 at 3:00 PM

*hugs*  I'm sorry for your loss.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:29 PM

 Hugs, I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry for all your stress.  I always try to be positive, but hearing stupid people just makes it so hard- blah blah blad "atleast you know you can get pregnant"  You hang in there honey- I have no advice except "put your feet up" No literally after sex elevate your butt in the air for about 5 minutes-like put your feet on the headboard (I swear this is how I got pregnant with all my babies)  Can't promise it will work, BUT it will ligthen the mood between you and your SO and everyone is stressful situations needs a laugh.  Big hugs and I hope this group brings as much joy and comfort to you as it has to me.

by Amy on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:03 PM

((hugs)) I'm so sorry hun

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