Needing ideas

[TheJs]

I have a 3 year old dd, (She'll be 4 in April). Anyway she's taking the miscarriage pretty hard, and i was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to help a little one cope? Does anyone have something that worked for your children?

[mommyofnoah208]

I am sorry. My son didnt really understand at the time so I didnt have to deal with anything. He knew something was wrong but didnt understand what.
I think a book is a good idea..they have a lot to choose from. Also maybe you can sit down with her and have her draw a picture or release a balloon to have a goodbye memorial. You can talj with her, keep it simple but kinda blunt. I think kids need it said straightforward. Maybe talk to her about how the baby is in heaven and how she is still a big sister and she can always think or talk to draw things for her baby sibling. Let her know it is ok to be sad and it is ok that mommy is sad and that you will all be ok and that the baby is safe.

[TheJs]

that's pretty close to what we told her. my dad died when she was 6 months old so she is kind of familiar with the concept of someone going to heaven.

Quoting mommyofnoah208:

I am sorry. My son didnt really understand at the time so I didnt have to deal with anything. He knew something was wrong but didnt understand what.

I think a book is a good idea..they have a lot to choose from. Also maybe you can sit down with her and have her draw a picture or release a balloon to have a goodbye memorial. You can talj with her, keep it simple but kinda blunt. I think kids need it said straightforward. Maybe talk to her about how the baby is in heaven and how she is still a big sister and she can always think or talk to draw things for her baby sibling. Let her know it is ok to be sad and it is ok that mommy is sad and that you will all be ok and that the baby is safe.

[TheJs]

thanks for the advice y'all!

[blessedmommie07]

My boys were 5yrs and 3 yrs when we lost my daughter.  We got the books "Something Happened" and "We were going to have a baby but had an angel instead" and those kid books really helped my 5yr old to understand though since we knew she was passing for awhile they were told at 3yrs and 4 1/2 yrs.  My oldest son got ideas he wanted to do in memory of his sister from those books.  Right after Isabelle passed we all went to pick out flowers and plant them together for her.  That really helped my oldest son.  We also take him to the cementery, sometimes he asks and sometimes we ask him and he says yes.  And last October, about 5 months after she passed we released flower petals in a pond for Isabelle and also in the wind.  My boys especially liked when we put the flowers in the wind.

[TheJs]

thanks so much for the ideas

Quoting blessedmommie07:

My boys were 5yrs and 3 yrs when we lost my daughter.  We got the books "Something Happened" and "We were going to have a baby but had an angel instead" and those kid books really helped my 5yr old to understand though since we knew she was passing for awhile they were told at 3yrs and 4 1/2 yrs.  My oldest son got ideas he wanted to do in memory of his sister from those books.  Right after Isabelle passed we all went to pick out flowers and plant them together for her.  That really helped my oldest son.  We also take him to the cementery, sometimes he asks and sometimes we ask him and he says yes.  And last October, about 5 months after she passed we released flower petals in a pond for Isabelle and also in the wind.  My boys especially liked when we put the flowers in the wind.