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I think I need help

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:39 AM
  • 22 Replies
I've been ok for a while never been fine but as time goes by it seems like im getting less and less ok. I just don't know what kind of help i need oe how to ask for it. I can't talk about the miscarriage with out crying so how can i ask for help?how did any of you start the conversation ? What did they give you and did it help?
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyofnoah208
by Melissa on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:52 AM
Many women go and talk with a grief counselor or local grief support groups. Thinking of you. Is there someone that can make your appt for you if you dont feel like you can talk on the phone about it?
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lelandsmama07
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 9:58 AM
I had 2 miscarriages in 2011and its something i struggle with every day...what helped a little bit for me was that i named both of them...i also made a couple of candles with their names on them...i never asked for professional help for it so i cant tell you how to talk to someone about it all i can say is loosing someone you love is the hardest thing to go through and everyone has their way of grieving...their might also be some support groups in your area where you can go.the hospital gave me a list after i lost my second baby...im sorry for your loss and i will ask my angles to watch over you for me.hugs and you can always pm me if you need someone to talk to
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bwoosley
by on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:44 AM

I have never talked to a professional about either of my losses, now I am considering going to a therapist due to the stigma of what happened to me.  My advice for you would to be to consider who you want to go to.  If you think that just talking won't be enough and you may need medication I would suggest going to a phsyciatrist but if medication isn't something you want to take I would go to a regular therapist.  But the main thing is to not be scared if you are going to cry, that is why they are there.  They will listen and let you cry, rant, and they won't judge you.  I hope some of this helps you out, and I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 3, 2013 at 10:47 AM
For me, this group has been my sanity, my main source of comfort. But don't hesitate to find a councillor, your local hospital may have support groups or resources to find them.

I'm sorry you are going through this :(
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iSMILEheCRIES
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 12:25 PM
1 mom liked this

 Big Hugs.  For me, I never got professional help- but I needed it.  I felt like someone (my mom, my boyfriend) should have known and should have done it for me.  I am currently pregnant again, and the day I found out I was pregnant I made an appointment with a counselor... just in case.  But let me tell you how I found the counselor the first time- (I was molested as a kid and it had been haunting me for about 20 years) and one day I was just feeling kinda down so I grabbed the phone book, found a counselor that I liked the name, and called right then and there because I couldn't, wouldn't think about it later.  The other thing you can do is call your OB office and make an appointment and share with him/her- if you know you cry easily talking about it, then there is your answer when the doc says "what brought you in today?" and you start bawling the story will just come out it will help her help you.  How about leaving a note for DH, mom, or best friend- keep it straight and to the point "I am not dealing well with losing the baby.  I need professional help, please find someone to help me because I can not find someone on my own.  I can't talk to you about this, I need someone unbiased."  Sometimes not openly having to say you are hurting helps.  And when you finally are in a couselors office the words will just come freely, I promise.  If no one else will do this for you, private message me and I will help- sometimes its ok to let others take care of you.

heatherfoutch
by Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 12:28 PM
It happened in Oct at 12wks I think it may be coming back because there was a girl a week ahead of me at work and she just went on leave. I should be on leave now my due date was supposed Apr 9. Im afraid the closer it gets the worse its gonna get
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iSMILEheCRIES
by Gold Member on Mar. 3, 2013 at 12:32 PM

 Certain things will trigger it.  I just want you to know, over and over again, that we are all here for you-however, when ever you need us

Quoting heatherfoutch:

It happened in Oct at 12wks I think it may be coming back because there was a girl a week ahead of me at work and she just went on leave. I should be on leave now my due date was supposed Apr 9. Im afraid the closer it gets the worse its gonna get

 

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Mar. 3, 2013 at 1:23 PM

I'm sorry. It's hard being around others who are close to where we were supposed to be at. I never sought out professional help, but did think about it at times. This group helped me the most. (hugs)

Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:42 AM

 Do you have EAP (Employee Assistance Program) through your work or through your SO work? I have had four losses and I haven't sought professional help, but I did call them for a list with my last loss. They gave me a list of providers in my area that I could call for help. I vetted that list with our onsite EAP worker and had two names that I COULD call, should I feel that I needed to. For me, just knowing that I had options to call made me feel better. I also really worked on my faith. After my last loss, I was really suffering and once I got on track with my faith, I've felt a lot better. Better than I have in years. But I wouldn't worry about crying when you talk about it. That is natural, if you are asking for help...it makes sense that you would need to cry. The important thing is that you know something isn't right, and you are trying to fix it. If you are crying, or screaming...it doesn't matter. Whoever you ask for help, they should be used to it. Losing babies is rough, if you need help that is natural. Know that we are here for you.

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:55 AM

Well my doctors knew so they are the ones that suggested anti-depressants but just tell them you are having trouble coping and would like to see if anti-depressants can help.  I also go to counseling and its a safe place that it is perfectly fine to cry.  I actually found its easier to give into all the crying and then it was easier for me to talk with just some tearing up.

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