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My sadness

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 7:09 PM
  • 12 Replies
l was so excited when l found out l was pregnant late last year,it was going to be my last pregnancy l already have a daughter and a son.It was a normal pregnancy in the begining the morning sickness the cravings l enjoyed every moment,in early january l started bleeding l was very stressed.

l was hospitalised for a day my cervix was slightly open l calmed down the bleeding stopped l remember l was so scared.The bleeding started again l was 15weeks l was hospitalised again this time l was terrified l thought l had lost the baby,coz l had clots l went for sonar my baby was fine there was a very strong heart beat,l remember the sense of relief l felt .

The following week l went to book for antenatal classes,a week later the bleeding started at first l just ignored it coz l had told myself am going to be one of those women who bleed through out their pregnany,l did not go to the hospital,the next day the bleeding got worse.This time time l had it was painful l had cramps l asked my husband to take me to the hospital the whole way l was praying so hard and the pain was also getting intense.

They admitted me at around 3am l felt like going to the bath room after l peed,l could feel they was something l thought it was a clot when l pushed,it was my baby l remember thinking my baby is goung to fall on the toilet bowl.Lucky enough l saw one of those steel basins l took it from my womb my baby just lay there l did,nt know what to do l just died as well.

Am very very sad and hurt with everyone else its like yes it happend lets move on,but l can,t l want to talk about my grief l was now attached to my child,last week l was pregnant how can l be not today why?l pretend everything is fine l cant sleep its worse at night noone gets it l lost my child,l know someone in my situation will understand it doesnt matter how small the pregnany was a life was growing inside of us,just because they was no funeral at the cemeterary it doesnt mean we must not mourn we still lost a life.



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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 7:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
iSMILEheCRIES
by Gold Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 7:41 PM

 Big hugs honey.  I am so sorry for your loss honey.  You are right no matter how small the baby, it still has a huge impact on our lives.  This is a wonderful supportive group and all the ladies here really understand.  (the group is most active early in the morning so expect more responses then).  Please feel free to use this group, we have heard or said it all at one point.  Did you get much time with your angel after it was birthed?  Sometimes those moments offer some peace.  I lost my daughter at 19weeks and remember her every day, along with my other angels.  Hugs and welcome

dj_kern
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 7:54 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel and the hurt and the grieve and you not ready to move on.  I lost my baby at only 5 weeks, and it was so hurtful and painful for me to get through that time.  I just wanted to talk about it, but nobody knew what i was going through and didn't seem to care and want to talk about it.  We are all here for you, to listen to you rant and rave and just to get your anger and frustration out.  sometimes i need to just get my anger and frustration out and it has been 29 weeks since i lost my little one.  As i approach the due date of my little one i'm not sure how i will handle it but i know i can come here and share my feelings. 

You are in my prayers through this difficult time.

Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:51 PM
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss :( losing a baby is a pain like no other pain. There is no way to just move on, you have to grieve your loss. We are all here to grieve with you, everyone here unfortunately understands your pain.
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cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:53 PM

((hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss hun

alicemas13
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 4:31 AM
Hi

Am so sorry l know exactly what you going through,l wonder when it will get better l think if l had someone near by ,who gets it to talk to it will be better,because really l do not want to bottle and ignore my feelings because l know if l dont deal with it right now the sadnesswill always linger.

At the same time l dont want to appear like am falling apart l put all my energy on my 19 month old and the house work am a stay at home mum,am a bit scared of trying again maybe end of year right now l really want to finish my studies and get a job .

Dj_kern lets hang in there l can imagine with the due date coming am also going to dread that time


Quoting dj_kern:

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel and the hurt and the grieve and you not ready to move on.  I lost my baby at only 5 weeks, and it was so hurtful and painful for me to get through that time.  I just wanted to talk about it, but nobody knew what i was going through and didn't seem to care and want to talk about it.  We are all here for you, to listen to you rant and rave and just to get your anger and frustration out.  sometimes i need to just get my anger and frustration out and it has been 29 weeks since i lost my little one.  As i approach the due date of my little one i'm not sure how i will handle it but i know i can come here and share my feelings. 


You are in my prayers through this difficult time.


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dj_kern
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 11:44 AM

 We will get through this, we have others to help us through, and we will overcome all this.  if you ever need to talk just  message me and i will be an ear for you to share your feelings.

I thought that i wouldn't take it as bad as i had.  But there were days i would just break down and cry and then have to pull myself together, but letting the tears out helped a bunch. 


Quoting alicemas13:

Hi

Am so sorry l know exactly what you going through,l wonder when it will get better l think if l had someone near by ,who gets it to talk to it will be better,because really l do not want to bottle and ignore my feelings because l know if l dont deal with it right now the sadnesswill always linger.

At the same time l dont want to appear like am falling apart l put all my energy on my 19 month old and the house work am a stay at home mum,am a bit scared of trying again maybe end of year right now l really want to finish my studies and get a job .

Dj_kern lets hang in there l can imagine with the due date coming am also going to dread that time


Quoting dj_kern:

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how you feel and the hurt and the grieve and you not ready to move on.  I lost my baby at only 5 weeks, and it was so hurtful and painful for me to get through that time.  I just wanted to talk about it, but nobody knew what i was going through and didn't seem to care and want to talk about it.  We are all here for you, to listen to you rant and rave and just to get your anger and frustration out.  sometimes i need to just get my anger and frustration out and it has been 29 weeks since i lost my little one.  As i approach the due date of my little one i'm not sure how i will handle it but i know i can come here and share my feelings. 


You are in my prayers through this difficult time.



 

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:22 PM

I'm sorry for your loss.  My daughter I lost last year was supposed to be my last as well.  It was heartbreaking.  *hugs*

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I'm so sorry. We lost our baby in Novemeber. This was going to be our "last" one too and number 3 for us. Our other two kiddos are 13 and 3. (hugs)

jharve
by Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:58 PM
Hugs sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I felt I was all alone in the grieving process.
alicemas13
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 3:34 PM
Thanks a lot guys knowing am not the only one really helps, will get through this.

Thank you for the kind words l do feel the all the hugs.

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