Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What to expect?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM
  • 22 Replies

I went to the dr. on Thursday for what should have been a routine 12 week check up.  The ultrasound revealed that my baby had stopped growing at 6w5d. My dr gave me a lot of info after that and I can honestly say I didn't hear any of it.  She wants me to miscarry naturally.  I know it is different for everyone, but what would you think I should expect?  I'm heartbroken and scared right now.

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Herlache
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry hun! I had a dnc so I'm not sure how a natural mc is. ((hugs))
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Turtledoves
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:21 PM
I had a natural at 12, almost 13 weeks. Have you had a baby before? Honestly ita just like that. It may be a bit easier for you as your baby is younger than mine (around 9 weeks) but I had 8 hours of contractions. Honestly, they got really rough. But suddenly the baby just came out and there was no more pain at all. Once the baby was out, I bled really heavily for an hour and then it tapered off. The first day is like having an extremely heavy period. After that it calms down but I bled for over 9 days.

Its a difficult process, but I liked doing it on my own, in my own home. I got to bury my baby, I got to burn a candle and hug her lion that I bought her and my husband helped me. It felt good to give my body time to grieve physically. I had no complications or anything and after a few weeks I was checked out and cleared to get pregnant whenever im ready.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry for your loss.

busyizzybsmom
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 5:08 PM

I'm so sorry. :( This is basically what happened to me too, but I went in at 9 wks for an ultrasound and found out that our baby had died at 7 or 8 weeks. 

I was given all my options (pills, D&C, or wait it out naturally), and we decided to just wait and let it happen naturally. It took another 2 weeks before I started to bleed, so about 4 weeks after Baby had died. It started like a regular period, but then on the first heavy day (2 days in or so) it was, as turtledoves said, like labor. Not nearly as painful, but the definite cramping contractions that made me stop and catch my breath. After a few hours of this I delivered our little one, still in the amniotic sac (which was roughly the size of a baseball). Heavy bleeding continued for 6 hours or so, and then it tapered off and continued like a regular period. 

Waiting for it to happen was hard. It was hard knowing that my baby was dead, but I kind of clung to the time, knowing it was the only time I was going to have with my baby here on earth. I actually was waiting for a call back from my Dr about possibly getting the pills when I started bleeding on my own. We wanted to try again soon and the waiting was just hard for me. As long as you're not showing any signs of infection though there should be no problems (physically) with waiting to deliver naturally. 

I'm so sorry for what you're having to endure. If you have any more questions or anything, ask away! Hugs!

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:46 PM

How did you know you weren't losing too much blood? 

I wanted a natural m/c but I got so light headed after the baby came out...I was bleeding & bleeding....I tried to walk to the bed from the bathroom to lie down to wait for the placenta....and I couldn't feel my legs--they completely gave out, I collasped into my husband's arms who was helping me walk to the bed & holding the towel underneath me with our baby in it...my body started seizing....I feared the worst....and than my body calmed....I lied flat on my back on the carpet & was ok....I could feel the blood continually coming out though....I just didn't think i should wait....

My mom was there. She is a RN. She was hesitant to call the ambulance for me. She didn't want too. And she gave me a lot of grief after I came home about it. (mostly she gave my husband grief about it because I was sleeping)....my blood count went down to an 8 which is borderline needing a transfusion.....but I wonder if I could have waited it out??? My OB said my placenta never would have come out by itself....but I'm curious to know the what if..... 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I had a natural at 12, almost 13 weeks. Have you had a baby before? Honestly ita just like that. It may be a bit easier for you as your baby is younger than mine (around 9 weeks) but I had 8 hours of contractions. Honestly, they got really rough. But suddenly the baby just came out and there was no more pain at all. Once the baby was out, I bled really heavily for an hour and then it tapered off. The first day is like having an extremely heavy period. After that it calms down but I bled for over 9 days.

Its a difficult process, but I liked doing it on my own, in my own home. I got to bury my baby, I got to burn a candle and hug her lion that I bought her and my husband helped me. It felt good to give my body time to grieve physically. I had no complications or anything and after a few weeks I was checked out and cleared to get pregnant whenever im ready.



Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 6:56 PM

Personally, I'm a natural mama...so i would rather my body do it naturally than have to go to the hospital. I was afraid of going to the hospital. I was 19 weeks....my baby died at 14 weeks....My OB wanted to rush me in for an induction and than possibly a D&C if the placenta doesn't come out with the induction. I wanted to wait a week. I wanted to get over the shock (if that ever really happens). I needed a week to get my mom in town to watch the kids. My mom started praying that I would go into labor naturally. I started researching it and there isn't a lot out there about it. Midwife assisted homebirths are illegal here so I didn't have a midwife to call to ask to watch over me for a natural m/c. I think having a midwife there would be the best thing. That or a baby nurse who knows what to do/what to look for/etc. 

I had read that you can eat all these natural health supplements to have your body start the process. Your body will hold onto the baby if you aren't telling it to let go. I read that red raspberry leaf tea is one good thing to drink to start the process. I started drinking it. I didn't really know any of the other supplements to take and I wasn't sure I really wanted to do the natural route. It seemed really scary either way! I drank two or three cups a day for three days. On Saturday I felt off. I started labor around 10am...at 2:30 is when my uterus finally contracted and broke my water & the baby fell out into the toilet! It was unexpected because even though I have had four healthy natural births (hospitals)....I didn't recognize what my body was really going thru....Maybe I didn't want too? I only recognized at the last minute when I was laying down with y 3 year old for an afternoon nap. And I felt that pressure....the pop....the leakage....and the baby slid out....And than it got scary because I just didn't know what to do and neither did my husband or my mom! 

I ended up at the hospital & they had me waiting....they wanted to push cytotec up my ass to wait for the placenta....I just wanted it to be over. :( My OB agreed & said get her ready for the D&C. It all went pretty smoothly. I was light headed & passing out throughtout the night though. I woke up & they said I either need a blood transfusion & another night or since I did hold down liquids--I could eat a hearty meal & see if that stablizes things. I was able to be discharged without the transfusion but it's taken a week of my looking pale & on my deathbed to get back my energy. And I sit and wonder if I had waited at home for the placenta....would the outcome have been good or bad? 

Turtledoves
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:02 PM

I had a midwife on the phone with me and I kept asking questions just to make sure. She told me that it'll be very heavy for an hour or two. If it's still constant blood after that, then I had to call right away. She said that my clots shouldn't be bigger than a fist, and if they were, to call right away. If I felt like I was going to pass out or felt very weak, to call right away. If I had any of those signs, it meant I might be hemmoraging and would have to immediately get treated. After the initial hour, the bleeding should get less, not more.

But, I had none of those problems. It's weird to say, but I had a perfect miscarriage, if there ever could be one. I got to birth my baby, I was able to hold her and meet her, my body got to have that time to physically grieve, and it felt better to do it at home. Afterwards I had no complications at all. It all went smoothly, my hCG dropped on schedule and I'm cleared for another pregnancy now. 


What you went through definitely sounds like you had to be treated. You had a lot of signs that my midwife warned about and would have rushed me to the hospital. You definitely shouldn't have been given grief about it, it was a necessary action. Hemmoraging is very serious and should not be tested with.

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

How did you know you weren't losing too much blood? 

I wanted a natural m/c but I got so light headed after the baby came out...I was bleeding & bleeding....I tried to walk to the bed from the bathroom to lie down to wait for the placenta....and I couldn't feel my legs--they completely gave out, I collasped into my husband's arms who was helping me walk to the bed & holding the towel underneath me with our baby in it...my body started seizing....I feared the worst....and than my body calmed....I lied flat on my back on the carpet & was ok....I could feel the blood continually coming out though....I just didn't think i should wait....

My mom was there. She is a RN. She was hesitant to call the ambulance for me. She didn't want too. And she gave me a lot of grief after I came home about it. (mostly she gave my husband grief about it because I was sleeping)....my blood count went down to an 8 which is borderline needing a transfusion.....but I wonder if I could have waited it out??? My OB said my placenta never would have come out by itself....but I'm curious to know the what if..... 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I had a natural at 12, almost 13 weeks. Have you had a baby before? Honestly ita just like that. It may be a bit easier for you as your baby is younger than mine (around 9 weeks) but I had 8 hours of contractions. Honestly, they got really rough. But suddenly the baby just came out and there was no more pain at all. Once the baby was out, I bled really heavily for an hour and then it tapered off. The first day is like having an extremely heavy period. After that it calms down but I bled for over 9 days.

Its a difficult process, but I liked doing it on my own, in my own home. I got to bury my baby, I got to burn a candle and hug her lion that I bought her and my husband helped me. It felt good to give my body time to grieve physically. I had no complications or anything and after a few weeks I was checked out and cleared to get pregnant whenever im ready.




in lovebaby girlpuppy
Babywearing, co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding, AP, natural birthing, happily married SAH Mommy to Katherine Isabelle, and mommy to our Angel baby, Elizabeth Rose.

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:10 PM

Ok, thanks! There just isn't much out there on natural miscarriages...and I definitely wasn't sure I wanted one....I mean, I did...but I didn't have a midwife/or someone certified to help to call to help me....I'm glad my body had the baby naturally and I didn't have to do cytotec but that was so scary!!! I told my husband a thousand times during that he was getting snipped & that was the end of our baby making days! He wouldn't listen to me though. He knew it was the fear. But my mom's grief made me wonder. :(  And I really want that healthy baby. I really think I dont' want to give up! 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I had a midwife on the phone with me and I kept asking questions just to make sure. She told me that it'll be very heavy for an hour or two. If it's still constant blood after that, then I had to call right away. She said that my clots shouldn't be bigger than a fist, and if they were, to call right away. If I felt like I was going to pass out or felt very weak, to call right away. If I had any of those signs, it meant I might be hemmoraging and would have to immediately get treated. After the initial hour, the bleeding should get less, not more.

But, I had none of those problems. It's weird to say, but I had a perfect miscarriage, if there ever could be one. I got to birth my baby, I was able to hold her and meet her, my body got to have that time to physically grieve, and it felt better to do it at home. Afterwards I had no complications at all. It all went smoothly, my hCG dropped on schedule and I'm cleared for another pregnancy now. 


What you went through definitely sounds like you had to be treated. You had a lot of signs that my midwife warned about and would have rushed me to the hospital. You definitely shouldn't have been given grief about it, it was a necessary action. Hemmoraging is very serious and should not be tested with.


Turtledoves
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:14 PM

I know, I was totally shocked when it was happening to me. NO ONE ever tells you about the details of what happens. There's just not much information. I thought that it would just be like a period and then done. No one warns you about how much it's like a real labor, and the kind of bleeding that follows and all the emotions. When I mentioned something about it, everyone acted confused and said "didn't you just have a period and that was it?" Nope! I gave birth to a baby, not had a period. 

I had no idea what I wanted, it was such an emotional time and I had never researched anyhting about miscarriages. But I did know about the dangers of cytotec and I didn't want surgery. I had my daughter naturally so I wanted to have this baby naturally as well, but I had no idea what went with it until it was actually happening.

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

Ok, thanks! There just isn't much out there on natural miscarriages...and I definitely wasn't sure I wanted one....I mean, I did...but I didn't have a midwife/or someone certified to help to call to help me....I'm glad my body had the baby naturally and I didn't have to do cytotec but that was so scary!!! I told my husband a thousand times during that he was getting snipped & that was the end of our baby making days! He wouldn't listen to me though. He knew it was the fear. But my mom's grief made me wonder. :(  And I really want that healthy baby. I really think I dont' want to give up! 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I had a midwife on the phone with me and I kept asking questions just to make sure. She told me that it'll be very heavy for an hour or two. If it's still constant blood after that, then I had to call right away. She said that my clots shouldn't be bigger than a fist, and if they were, to call right away. If I felt like I was going to pass out or felt very weak, to call right away. If I had any of those signs, it meant I might be hemmoraging and would have to immediately get treated. After the initial hour, the bleeding should get less, not more.

But, I had none of those problems. It's weird to say, but I had a perfect miscarriage, if there ever could be one. I got to birth my baby, I was able to hold her and meet her, my body got to have that time to physically grieve, and it felt better to do it at home. Afterwards I had no complications at all. It all went smoothly, my hCG dropped on schedule and I'm cleared for another pregnancy now. 


What you went through definitely sounds like you had to be treated. You had a lot of signs that my midwife warned about and would have rushed me to the hospital. You definitely shouldn't have been given grief about it, it was a necessary action. Hemmoraging is very serious and should not be tested with.



in lovebaby girlpuppy
Babywearing, co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding, AP, natural birthing, happily married SAH Mommy to Katherine Isabelle, and mommy to our Angel baby, Elizabeth Rose.

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 7:25 PM

I think cytotec is safer than you think. I mean, it's not the best thing but I talked and read A LOT during that week I had to research! And cytotec is used A LOT for miscarriage. It actually is better for m./c than it's original ulcer intention. It was a failure for ulcers actually. I still didn't want it though! And I'm glad I didn't have it! Actually I think I did...I think the OB actually used it during the D&C for some reason...or at least I think I heard my husband talking about it like that during recovery....but I don't really know. I'm glad that I drank that tea. I think that helped my body to finally get itself in gear. We read up on the tea some more during recovery & my husband said that it helps a pregnancy too but you can't have more than one cup a week or something like that during the first trimester. I'd have to read it again. I'm all about those health supplements though. i'll do whatever it takes to make sure I get a healthy baby next time! 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I know, I was totally shocked when it was happening to me. NO ONE ever tells you about the details of what happens. There's just not much information. I thought that it would just be like a period and then done. No one warns you about how much it's like a real labor, and the kind of bleeding that follows and all the emotions. When I mentioned something about it, everyone acted confused and said "didn't you just have a period and that was it?" Nope! I gave birth to a baby, not had a period. 

I had no idea what I wanted, it was such an emotional time and I had never researched anyhting about miscarriages. But I did know about the dangers of cytotec and I didn't want surgery. I had my daughter naturally so I wanted to have this baby naturally as well, but I had no idea what went with it until it was actually happening.

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

Ok, thanks! There just isn't much out there on natural miscarriages...and I definitely wasn't sure I wanted one....I mean, I did...but I didn't have a midwife/or someone certified to help to call to help me....I'm glad my body had the baby naturally and I didn't have to do cytotec but that was so scary!!! I told my husband a thousand times during that he was getting snipped & that was the end of our baby making days! He wouldn't listen to me though. He knew it was the fear. But my mom's grief made me wonder. :(  And I really want that healthy baby. I really think I dont' want to give up! 


Quoting Turtledoves:

I had a midwife on the phone with me and I kept asking questions just to make sure. She told me that it'll be very heavy for an hour or two. If it's still constant blood after that, then I had to call right away. She said that my clots shouldn't be bigger than a fist, and if they were, to call right away. If I felt like I was going to pass out or felt very weak, to call right away. If I had any of those signs, it meant I might be hemmoraging and would have to immediately get treated. After the initial hour, the bleeding should get less, not more.

But, I had none of those problems. It's weird to say, but I had a perfect miscarriage, if there ever could be one. I got to birth my baby, I was able to hold her and meet her, my body got to have that time to physically grieve, and it felt better to do it at home. Afterwards I had no complications at all. It all went smoothly, my hCG dropped on schedule and I'm cleared for another pregnancy now. 


What you went through definitely sounds like you had to be treated. You had a lot of signs that my midwife warned about and would have rushed me to the hospital. You definitely shouldn't have been given grief about it, it was a necessary action. Hemmoraging is very serious and should not be tested with.





Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)