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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Why do I do this to myself?

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:06 AM
  • 5 Replies
My baby girl was born sleeping 3 1/2 weeks ago. I know it is normal to cry and grieve. I have cried every day since her birth. My husband went back to work last week, my other 3 children are in school. I am home alone during the day by myself. I look at my baby's urn, talk to her, read passages from the Bible, and cry while doing all of that. I also read books about stillbirth, look online about stillbirth and then go to YouTube and watch videos. It just brings back such "memories"and thoughts about our precious angel. Why do I torture myself day in and day out doing this to myself? Is this normal? I feel like I am killing myself inside to get the hurt out! I sob heavy sobs when looking at pictures of other stillborn babies.
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-5):
Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:22 AM

Aww Hun, that's an important step in the process, you are grieving.  Let the tears flow, your baby is worth every single one.  I hate crying too...but it's just a part of the process (((hugs)))

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:08 AM

It's part of the process...although it may not seem like a help....it's helping.... :( 

Herlache
by Jessie on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Angela4boys said it perfectly! The only thing I can say besides is don't bottle it up. Talk about it, let it out, it will help. ((hugs))
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Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:12 AM

 I delivered a stillborn little girl in July of 2011. I think you have to grieve the way you grieve. I didn't watch videos about stillbirth, but I read a lot about my medical condition that led to her being stillborn. I prayed to her in the beginning, becase I was so hurt that God didn't save her that it was hard to pray to him. But I felt that she would tell him for me. After a while, I stopped doing that so I feel that she did. God healed a lot of my hurt for me.  I think people expect people to bounce back from miscarriages and stillbirths quicker than what is realistic. You wouldn't expect a child to bounce back 3 weeks after losing their mother, why should mothers bounce back after 3 weeks? Cry, pray, read...do what you need to do. Know that we are all here for you.

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 18, 2013 at 12:04 PM

*hugs*  I don't know if that is normal but you need to keep yourself busy.  I don't think it is healthy to do that to yourself.  Have you thought about counseling or looking for a local support group?  Both have helped me tremendously but I also have a younger one at home so he kept me busy.  Pick up a hobby, try new things, go out and do things.  It is difficult and emotional to get out at the beginning but I remember I really felt better when I got out of the house and did something, anything.  Even if I went out and still cried it was better than being at home.

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