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One Week

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:20 AM
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It's been one week and two days since I miscarried my first child. I was 7 1/2 weeks pregnant. I was told when was younger (20+plus) years go I would not have kids, due to my endometriosis. Meet the right guy and surprise!  My miscarriage was hard, took three days and a d&c to finish. Lots of blood and physical pain. At first my finace was super supportive, now he is like... "Its over, time to move on"

So, everyday I get up and take care of life. I break down here and there in silence. I sleep little and am very distracted. I am also very angry at him, life, you name it. I understand I still have some pregnancy hormones so everything seems so intense right now.

In general I feel lost, like  I am losing my mind. I want to heal but, know that takes time. I want the anger to stop and for me to be able to be present in my life. Manly I think I just needed a place to turn to that others understand what I am going through.

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:20 AM
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:36 AM
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Hugs. this group is awesome for support. 

I lost my baby on March 2nd at 19 weeks. It's been very hard to endure the grief. Some days are better than others. I have to keep going on with life....i hate that the pregnancy is over....the baby naturally came out at home & than I had to have a D&C....I hemmoraged & I am anemic because of's hard, I'm not myself....but I've taken it from these other women that it gets better with time....

I was never told what my issue was but I was told I couldn't get pregnant without help years ago too. I didn't need help though--my 1st was a total surprise miracle baby! The most amazing pregnancy. I wish I could have that pregnancy again, especially after dealing with a loss...but each pregnancy is different. 

by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:15 AM
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almost sounds like a bit of PPD. have you thought about talking to a grief counslor? men handle pain and loss a lot differently then we do so its no surprise that he seems to have moved on :-( unfortantly that leaves us as women feeling like we are alone in our pain and struggle, but you are not. you have us. we have all felt this pain and hurt and are all strugglin on one level or another so please know you can be as open as you need to be here. we all understand and are here to help with no judgement. im so sorry for your loss prayers of comfort and strength for you
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:18 AM
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Hugs dear. I'm facing the same things. The anger, the insomnia, all of it. Today is one week exactly after my d&c, and it's still hard. These things take time to heal from emotionally, especially when ppd is involved. Which it sounds like you may have. Ppd is a lot more than just being sad. Google it, read about it, and ask for help, if you think that might be what's going on. Ppd isn't something to play with, I know. Have been there (and am probably again). Again, hugs. We'll get through this together.
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:19 AM
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We lost our baby in November. I know for the first couple of weeks, I was kind of in a "fog". I didn't sleep, didn't feel like I really wanted to do much of anything, broke down randomly, and my emotions were still trying to sort themselves out. A week after a loss is still very early and new in the process and you're very raw. Eventually, it gets easier. Little by little, it takes some time though. And the other ladies are absolutely right, men grieve differently. It doesn't mean that they're not hurting, it's just a different kind of hurt. I'm so very sorry for your loss. (hugs)

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:23 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you. Your feelings are normal and grief is part of the healing process. I agree that talking to a counselor is a good idea. I also want to let you know about a book that may help during this time it is called: "I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy" by Angie Smith. Here is a  Bible verse for you: "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1. Ask God for help, He is able to help you.

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:26 AM

Good morning everyone, and thank y'all so much for taking the time to respond and reach out to me.

I think this site will help me a bit. Talking to others who understand is a relief. I have a strong family and friends, some have gone through this, some have not but, it is easier to talk on here.

I looked up the ppd, I might have it, not sure. I think when I go for my post-op next week I will discuss it with her. If I do, I can not take anti-depressants, Im allegric to them and many other meds out there but, I know there are ways to manage depression, I just have to find that way.

Y'all are right men to handle it differently. I think the hardest part is that it felt like I lost my bestfriend too. Slowly we are talking about it but, he is still very worried I will not bounce back (its only a week). That's what I get for falling in love with an overachiever!

I would also like to say, I am very sorry for each one of your losses and being strong enough to help a woman who just went through this. If I had not found y'all I would of not known the positive.

by Desiree-admin on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:52 PM

*hugs*  I'm so sorry for your loss.

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:46 AM
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I ache for you.  I had a d&e in December, then had to have a d&c in February.  All of the physical complications just added insult to the raw grief of losing a baby.  I barely remember that first few weeks.  I only got out of bed to get the necessities done for my older kids.  Then I crawled right back in under the covers.  It was a dark, dark time for me.  I am still depressed, sad, and cry at random times.  I want to try again, but so, so scared it won't happen again for me.  Just know that it is OK to be silent.  To cry.  To be angry.  Really angry.  It's all part of this process.  Hugs to you.  We all understand, and all feel your pain.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:51 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss. On 3/13 I lost my sweet daughter at 9 months pregnant. The grieving is long and hard, especially when you never thought you could have a baby and BAM! here is come a child :-) It is understandable that you are upset with him for being cold. My husband is super supportive but I still mourn much more than he does.

Don't feel strange or odd about your feeling, or lost. There are good books to help - Broken Heart, Empty Cradle - and organizations as well to help you get through this.

If anything, your pain for your lost child shows how much love you had for your baby and how great of a Mom you will be one day. Whether if the child comes from you or you adopt some lucky boy or girl.


by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:58 PM
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Thank you all for your kind words and support. I think it was hard to just go through all of these emotions and loss without an outlet. Started to keep a journal, random thoughts of emotions, kinda my own private counseling.

My father and I planted a new hollyberry bush in the garden and placed a sweet inspiring marker. Around it, my finace gave me tulips for V-day and I planted the bulbs around it. We just cried together and such. I had to tell some people that I will talk when I am ready.

My guy and I are doing a bit better, had an honest conversation and even though he still does not get it, I think he understands everyone needs time.

I think each one of you are amazing mom's and people, and just wanted to let you know.

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