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One week later.... that was a hard hit...

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM
  • 5 Replies
Yesterday was a hard time for me. My bff got pregnant a month after I did. I was so excited at the time cause we would be going through everything together. But was worried for her because she had a cyst that was putting her in danger of miscarriage. I asked my church to pray for her, not knowing that I was about to lose Jordan.

One week after I found out about my bff's baby, we lost Jordan. One week after my d&c (yesterday) she calls me to give me an update on her baby, which I had asked her to do.

She is at 8 weeks pregnant. Her cyst is shrinking. Her baby is fine; they heard the heartbeat. Now my heart is breaking again. I would have been 12 weeks this week. Her baby has already lived a week and 4 days longer than Jordan. I cried after I got off the phone. And I'll never tell her how upset I got. She's been trying for this baby for 6 years, and I'm truly happy for her. But it doesn't make it easier.
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by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM
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by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:05 AM

I'm so sorry. :( I had a similar experience - my best friend got pregnant the week after we did. We were due 8 days apart. I miscarried, she didn't. She was very gracious the whole time though and did not talk about her pregnancy around me at all until I got pregnant again. She did go get an early ultrasound at about 7 weeks just to make sure everything was okay because my experience scared her so much and she kept the ultrasound picture on her fridge. It stung a little every time I saw it. But, like you, I was (am) truly happy for her. Her little girl is an absolute delight. But yes, it doesn't make it easier...just kind of serves as a reminder of what "might have been". Hugs. 

by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:26 PM

I am really sorry.
My friends 15 year old daughter got pregnant close after I was and her papa was at first slightly upset about it but accepted it. I talked to him almost every day. Well, I lost my lil one that time in week 8 (V-Day when the process started) and I was devastated as you could be. Wasn't planned, but loved already. She continued and gave birth 1 month after my due date to a lil baby girl. Her dad send me a picture announcement and it hurt, but I was happy for her, even send her some neutral baby clothes I had left from my boys so she had something to start with.

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:02 PM

That's hard. I'm sorry. I have close friends who are expecting around the same time I was. Same thing, I'm happy for them but it is a definite reminder of what we've lost. (hugs)

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Hugs! It isn't easy. Good for you to ask for baby details about her baby though.

I can't face my pregnant friends. I have one who is on her first...she was counting on me to help with a baby shower...she had sent me a message on fb to ask about getting together to talk pregnancy/babies the day after my natural m/c. I just can't face any of my friends who are due this summer. :(  It was like a chain...we were all finding out gender....our are due dates lined up.... 

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 3:08 PM

 I am so sorry for your loss, and I know how hard it is on you to celebrate her as much as you love her and want to. I've been there but thankfully not for a BEST friend and not after they had tried for 6 years. But please take this in the spirit in which it is intended....maybe you were/are meant to care for her (once you heal more). She sounds like she is going to have a high risk pregnancy. She will need support, maybe helping her will help you. I know that being on this site helps me heal. I feel that me sharing my story helps others and that helps me. Maybe, because you lost yours, she won't complain or see the morning sickness, tiredness, etc. I don't mean just complain to you, but complain to herself. I know that my pregnant friends will say something that might sound like a complaint, but then they quickly say...but it is worth it. I think sometimes pregnant people see their pregnacy as a badge of honor and free pass to complain about every stage, instead of cherishing it. (even people that ttc for a long time).  When they are around someone that lost their baby and want to be where they are, they tend to see their pregnancy as the blessing it is.

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