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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Just lost my baby and my heart is broken ***UPDATE*** 3/29

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM
  • 34 Replies
UPDATE & THANKS ***I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for their wonderful support and kind words. I went into "hiding" so to speak this past week and this is the 1st time I've been back online. I decided to spend some extra cuddle time with my little girls and that helped for a bit and like always the pain creeps back in. I wish I could just wave a wand and make the sad go away. Nothing is worse than hearing your 6y/o DD ask you why God needed her baby brother or sister to be His angel?! Lots of tears and waiting for the sun to shine and hopefully bring a healthy rainbow baby in the future. This is an amazing group with awesome ladies and your kindness really helps, so THANK YOU!***

I was 9wks and 1 day pregnant and Thursday night (6pm) into Friday morning (10am ) I lost what would have been my 4th baby. My heart is just broken. I have 3 little girls and I love them so so so much but I just can't help but feel like our family needs one more little person to be complete. The pain of this miscarriage is unbearable, both physically and emotionally. Wednesday was my oldest daughter's 6th birthday. We couldn't have her big picnic party that she wanted b/c I was on bed-rest. Well at lot of good that did me because Thursday night the bleeding & cramping started and now I feel like I ruined her party and it wasn't even like it was for the good of her future sibling. We told quite a few close family and friends about the baby and now I dread having to see them or even talk to them. Telling my 2 older daughters (6&4) & my 2 brothers (12&9) about what happened was devastating enough and now I have to have the same torturous conversation at least 20 more times. I looked pregnant so even people that weren't on our insider's list know from giving me the "omg are you pregnant" gesture so there's all those people to contend with. Not to mention all the pregnancy emails waiting for me in my inbox. To top it off my mom surprised me with a little girls day out shopping trip to get some new fun maternity clothes. I wanted this baby so badly and now he or she is just gone. And to add insult to injury the doctor I had my follow-up with this afternoon said to me " oh well this happens all the time, you'll be fine in a few days, just shrug it off and take some motrin" Thank God the ER doc I had actually cared and listened to me as I wailed and sat doubled over in pain for over 12 hours. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm terrified at thought of ever trying again for fear of losing another baby but I feel like our family needs one more person to make it complete. I'm so sad and lost. I wish the world would just open up and swallow me whole. I miss the little person I was making. I miss the little person we nicknamed the tiny crumb. I miss what that baby could have been.

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mommy4Clara
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:18 PM
3 moms liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great place to come and talk/vent with people who know exactly how you feel. I lost my 3rd baby at 12 weeks and it was devestating. In order to avoid those 20+ conversations with people, I posted a note on Facebook saying "we wanted a baby, but got an angel instead." I explained that my baby's heart stopped beating because of my low progesterone. Posting this saved me from having to tell people over and over. I have had a few questions over the last few months, but nothing unbareable. Most people see that I lost weight and don't have a tummy, so they don't even ask....
I know you feel awful now, but each day, it gets easier.
Hugs to you.
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heatherfoutch
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:19 PM
1 mom liked this
Im sorry :-(
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mommyofnoah208
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group and I hope you find comfort and support here this is a great group.
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blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
*hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss.
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TalulaBelleLove
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:30 PM

Thank you. That's a good idea. I hope that the pain goes away soon, b/c now the emotional pain has surpassed my physical pain.


Quoting Mommy4Clara:

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great place to come and talk/vent with people who know exactly how you feel. I lost my 3rd baby at 12 weeks and it was devestating. In order to avoid those 20+ conversations with people, I posted a note on Facebook saying "we wanted a baby, but got an angel instead." I explained that my baby's heart stopped beating because of my low progesterone. Posting this saved me from having to tell people over and over. I have had a few questions over the last few months, but nothing unbareable. Most people see that I lost weight and don't have a tummy, so they don't even ask....
I know you feel awful now, but each day, it gets easier.
Hugs to you.



Mommy4Clara
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:32 PM
1 mom liked this
It helped me to have a keepsake. I got a custom, hand made, 2" baby doll (the size of the baby I lost). I have the baby on my mantel. It is like a memorial....
Give yourself time to grieve....


Quoting TalulaBelleLove:

Thank you. That's a good idea. I hope that the pain goes away soon, b/c now the emotional pain has surpassed my physical pain.



Quoting Mommy4Clara:

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great place to come and talk/vent with people who know exactly how you feel. I lost my 3rd baby at 12 weeks and it was devestating. In order to avoid those 20+ conversations with people, I posted a note on Facebook saying "we wanted a baby, but got an angel instead." I explained that my baby's heart stopped beating because of my low progesterone. Posting this saved me from having to tell people over and over. I have had a few questions over the last few months, but nothing unbareable. Most people see that I lost weight and don't have a tummy, so they don't even ask....

I know you feel awful now, but each day, it gets easier.

Hugs to you.





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Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:02 AM

I am sorry! Hugs. 

I lost my 5th at 19 weeks on March 2nd. It has been unbearable grief--we found out it was a boy that day and he would have been our first son after four girls! Much wanted boy! We were so excited! We were looking forward to having another baby---our family thought our family was complete as was...but we wanted #5, my husband even said we should go for #6 to keep it even.... :( I am empty now. This group is amazing though, lots of great grieving moms to give you support! Don't feel alone! It's normal to feel all that you feel though...it'll be okay! 

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:04 AM

Where did you get your babydoll? I have looked at buying a doll to hold in place of my lost son. :( My girls are very into American Girl dolls and I came really close to buying the boy bitty baby a couple weeks ago....two actually, blonde & brown---just because I wouldn't know my son's real hair color. I've seen one site that offers gestational dolls....


Quoting Mommy4Clara:

It helped me to have a keepsake. I got a custom, hand made, 2" baby doll (the size of the baby I lost). I have the baby on my mantel. It is like a memorial....
Give yourself time to grieve....


Quoting TalulaBelleLove:

Thank you. That's a good idea. I hope that the pain goes away soon, b/c now the emotional pain has surpassed my physical pain.



Quoting Mommy4Clara:

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great place to come and talk/vent with people who know exactly how you feel. I lost my 3rd baby at 12 weeks and it was devestating. In order to avoid those 20+ conversations with people, I posted a note on Facebook saying "we wanted a baby, but got an angel instead." I explained that my baby's heart stopped beating because of my low progesterone. Posting this saved me from having to tell people over and over. I have had a few questions over the last few months, but nothing unbareable. Most people see that I lost weight and don't have a tummy, so they don't even ask....

I know you feel awful now, but each day, it gets easier.

Hugs to you.







Jessica518
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Im sooooo sorry for your loss :(
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Jessica518
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 1:14 AM
Im sooooo sorry for your loss :(
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