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Loss

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:51 AM
  • 7 Replies

Hi!  My name is Stacey and I just lost my baby.  Here is my story.  At my 18 week ultrasound things started going downhill.  My babies heartbeat was strong and never faltered. When we went to find out what that babies sex was they had a hard time finding it.  They said they found a small cyst and I would have to go see a high risk doc but I should not be concerned.  They scheduled me for 2 weeks later with the high risk doc.  Since they weren't in a hurry to get me into a hr doc I assumed that there was, in fact, no reason to worry.  When I went to the hr doc everything he had to say was bad.  He told us that our baby had Multicystic Dysplastic Kidney Disease. 

I didn't know that it was the baby that had a cyst.  At that first appt they didn't tell me that the cyst was on the baby.  They just said they saw a cyst.  The first hr doc told us that our baby had practically NO fluid.  Which explains why the ultrasound was so bad.  I kept thinking .... wow did they have bad equipment???  My first son's ultrasound was so much clearer.  Anyway, the first hr doc recomended termination.  I was now 20 weeks.  I was not expecting that at all....I figured I was going to check on the cyst, that I assumed was an ovarian cyst on me and find out the sex of our baby. 

I went for a second opinion 2 days later and the second hr doc wanted to do a CVS test and see if there were any chromasomal defects with the kidneys being bad.  That came back fine and we finally found out our precious baby was a boy, but we still had the issue with the low fluid.  They told us without that fluid he would not make it and it will not come back.  He barely had room to move and his lungs would fail for sure.  They didn't even give me a percentage that he would make it.  They just said he won't.  They said he could live on dialisis for a few years in wait of a kidney but his lungs wouldn't develop and he wouldn't be able to exchange air.  His mucles couldn't develop and he wouldn't be able to move, and they also found on the most current ultrasound that he had a shadow on his heart which could indicate heart defects. 

We decided to have a d&e.  That was what every one of the docs recomended and we felt it was the right thing to do in this case.  We wanted this baby so very bad and it was the hardest dissison that I have ever had to make in my life. 

I had the procedure done on the 21st, this past Thursday.  After 3 weeks of agony, knowing that our baby boy had no chance, our little angel is gone now with the other angels. 

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:51 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:43 AM

 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby to stillbirth at 20 weeks. I had fought to keep her for a few weeks myself. But my water broke and there wasn't enough fluid for her. I ended up delivering her stillborn. I think a D&E would have made it harder on me. I found this group three losses later (I've had four). I pray that it gives you the comfort that it has given me. Feel free to message me, if you need to.

gcecelie
by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:48 AM

 Sorry to hear for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your SO.

Take comfort in knowing what was going on because a lot of us never know what went wrong.

iSMILEheCRIES
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:56 AM

 I am sorry for you loss honey.  I lost my baby at 19weeks,but gave birth to her.  This group has saved my sanity

Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I am so sorry for your loss :(  Losing a bably is a pain like no other.

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:33 AM

I'm so sorry! That is truly awful! :(  

I lost my son on March 2nd....I was 19 weeks, had a natural m/c at home but hemmoraged & seized & had a D&C for the placenta afterwards.  Our first son, much wanted! 

This support group has helped me so much! And I recently found a local group---so I would recommend finding a local group for bereavement parents because it helped me so much to see people in person that had lost a child! The grief is neverending (don't let that scare you) but it does get better with time.  

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:25 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is devastating when your given news like that.

I was 11 weeks with my 3rd child when we found out she had Anencephaly (missing all or part of the skull and brain). I carried her to 38 weeks when she was born sleeping.
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TwinkleStars918
by Amanda on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:25 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my little girl at 21 weeks in 2008 and just recently found this group and the ladies here are wonderful.
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