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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

I'm just not doing well

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM
  • 15 Replies

To start off things in our life have been hard to begin with.  we are low income and never seems like we get a break.  as soon as we start to make more something happens were we have to spend it all on a home or car or something repair.   it always seems like we are stuck where we are.   I got pregnant while on bc and bfing.   The first few weeks I hated the fact.   But after that we got excited and started trying to figure out how we were going to make it all come together etc.   but now things just took a turn for the worse.  So last week my daughter got really sick.   At the same time I started bleeding.   My daughter became borderline hospital stay at one point.   She was 22# and is now 19#.   She finally started feeling better this weekend.   I then had my miscarriage Sunday evening.   My husband had a bad cold all weekend but took over and was taking care of all of us amazingly.   Mon morning at 1230am my husband started throwing up.  The baby was up every hour crying and I had to go in with her because my husband was so sick.  I of course was still cramping and light headed and all that so it wasn't fun.   This morning my son got in trouble and it escalated and the he went in his room and started yelling he hates me and only nano (my mom) loves him and he wishes he was with her and no me.   Now this is my mom that has nothing nice to say about me or to me ever,  that didn't even know about the pregnancy.   Now she has been calling and texting wanting me to call her and after this thing with my son I really don't want to.  About the same time my daughter started screaming and wouldn't stop no matter what we did. So I took her to the store.  we went to the store to return something's and they told me I opulent because I had some sort of outstanding check or something....I don't even use checks!  So I called the number they gave me and they told me I have nothing on their records and to call this other number...so I did and got voicemail.   I then went to get my kids Easter stuff and got up to  paying and my account was $3 short.  I had cash but I didn't know how short it was and if I had been able to return those other items I would have had enough money.  So I had the lady back all my bags.  Got home and found I had handed her the bag of stuff I was trying to return!!   I don't understand why God hates us so much!   he won't give us a break or anything GOOD happen.  I not for us then for our kids!  They haven't don anything!   I'm just so worn out and tired and giving up n God.  I have no body here that cares and no one to help.  

Married the Love of My Life 9/7/02
Jency Paul Douglas 6/30/05
Tesher Robert Walter 12/31/08
Zerah Janae Lyn 3/26/12
Angel babies edd 10/22/08, 11/8/11, 10/20/13

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MorningValley
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Oh ya.  I haven't even been able to take a shower since the miscarriage

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:14 PM

So, I guess you didn't have to go to the hospital after the m/c?? You must have been very early I guess? (saw your other post)....that is a good thing to not have to go to the hospital.... I mean, it's sad, but at least you don't have hospital bills on top of everything else...small & well, not a good thing but a good thing if you know what I mean. (I'm an optimist) 

I'm sorry....it is easy to be mad at God during rough times but He doesn't give us more than we can handle. So it's good to vent out some frustration! I don't like people mentioning God to me at the moment. I just can't handle it....I lost my baby, the last thing I want to think about is "how I should pray" "or still go to church" "or God has a reason", etc, etc... :( 

Hugs! Vent away girl! We're here for you. 


MorningValley
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Thank you for understanding.   I gre up in church and have always been a strong Christian but the last 6 years have been tough and just seem to be getting worse and worse.   This is my 3rd mc and the farthest along (9weeks).   And right now your are right I really don't want to hear all those comments.   With my other two mcs I knew we would try again and have another...so in away they were blessings because if it hadnt happened i eouldnt have my youngest two...but this time we aren't.  This is it. No more.  I can't see the blessing in this one.   Thank you so much for understanding and letting me vent, even if its irrational...I just want a hug and to cry and I other then my husband I don't have anyone!  It's making it rough.

Angela4boys
by Angela on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:46 PM
I'm so sorry you are going through this :(. Sounds like you are feeling things are as bad as they can ever get (((hugs))). Just know this isn't God. People get sick, viruses, have pregnancy loss, but it's not God doing that...God loves you and grieves the loss with you.

Take a big deep breath, sleep on it tonight, get your thoughts together, your list, and try again. Maybe you can find ways to cut back? Make some treats, make play dough, dollar store or something like that?
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MorningValley
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:31 PM

 lol was are as cut back as cut back can be.  LOL

Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:29 PM
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 I posted a thread back in January called faith and loss. The ladies on the site gave me a lot of good information. I would recommen checking it out. I struggled with my faith a little after every loss, but this last one hurt my faith the most. Probably because it was my fourth in a row, and I had prayed so hard.  One of the other women posted this yesterday, and it meant a lot to me.

 

"On account of the crucified Christ human suffering is no longer merely one of the consequences of a cruel world that must be overcome or transcended but an opportunity for spiritual growth. Every cross endured in this life is a chance to grow closer to God. Every suffering that we bear patiently is an opportunity to grow in holiness. In this way suffering is redemptive. Each and every suffering is an opportunity to unite ourselves to the sufferings of Christ so as to experience the power of his resurrection and the new life that comes with it. In this way human suffering is not a sign of God's disinterest in us or his abandonment of humanity. Rather God is so invested in his people that he takes the most painful human experiences and transforms them so that they can give profound meaning to our lives. Those who experience great sufferings are those who are capable of great faith."

 Hopeully it helps you.

 

Schaiswife09
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 2:40 PM
I understand that i didn't want to go to church either after my most recent loss. I felt i couldn't give thanks to God or be around a bunch of people that would ask questions and i also didn't want to deal with all the I'm sorry's. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I definitely can relate. Just remember God still loves you even when ur angry. Hugs!

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

So, I guess you didn't have to go to the hospital after the m/c?? You must have been very early I guess? (saw your other post)....that is a good thing to not have to go to the hospital.... I mean, it's sad, but at least you don't have hospital bills on top of everything else...small & well, not a good thing but a good thing if you know what I mean. (I'm an optimist) 

I'm sorry....it is easy to be mad at God during rough times but He doesn't give us more than we can handle. So it's good to vent out some frustration! I don't like people mentioning God to me at the moment. I just can't handle it....I lost my baby, the last thing I want to think about is "how I should pray" "or still go to church" "or God has a reason", etc, etc... :( 

Hugs! Vent away girl! We're here for you. 


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Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 6:58 PM
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I don't feel angry at God. I just hate that God gets mentioned so much after a loss by other people. They will remind me to keep going to church or be prayerful...or they will tell me God had his reasons....I always have to take a step back and think when someone mentions "God"....and make sure I'm not angry...and I'm not...I don't feel any anger towards God. I really don't feel any anger at all. Just sadness really. Sadness, confusion, and shock. I'm a happy person normally though. I smile 24/7. So, it's hard not to be happy. But I'm certainly not angry or at least I'm not at the point where I can admit it if I am. 

I dont' want to be around anyone in my "old normal" at the moment. I'm trying to decipher this "new normal" and all my focus is on that.....so I'm trying to put into place things from my old into my new....a fresh start...I can be renewed. 


Quoting Schaiswife09:

I understand that i didn't want to go to church either after my most recent loss. I felt i couldn't give thanks to God or be around a bunch of people that would ask questions and i also didn't want to deal with all the I'm sorry's. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I definitely can relate. Just remember God still loves you even when ur angry. Hugs!

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

So, I guess you didn't have to go to the hospital after the m/c?? You must have been very early I guess? (saw your other post)....that is a good thing to not have to go to the hospital.... I mean, it's sad, but at least you don't have hospital bills on top of everything else...small & well, not a good thing but a good thing if you know what I mean. (I'm an optimist) 

I'm sorry....it is easy to be mad at God during rough times but He doesn't give us more than we can handle. So it's good to vent out some frustration! I don't like people mentioning God to me at the moment. I just can't handle it....I lost my baby, the last thing I want to think about is "how I should pray" "or still go to church" "or God has a reason", etc, etc... :( 

Hugs! Vent away girl! We're here for you. 




blessedmommie07
by Desiree on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:18 AM

*hugs*  I'm sorry for your losses and everything your going through right now.  We're low income to and it has been really rough at times, it is like when it rains it really pours.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  And even though all this is smoothering it will get better and you will be a stronger person from it :)

Mommy4Clara
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 12:26 AM
I am so sorry for all of this. As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours.
I lost my baby back in November and it hurt so much, I couldn't unferstand why it had happened to me. But I knew/believed there was a reason for it. I am now pregnant again and believe that God has a plan for me. Perhaps my family wasn't ready for that last baby. Perhaps my children had to grow up a little bit. Maybe I needed a reminder to not take my kids for granted. I'm not saying I dont miss my angel baby, he or she will always be woth me. I am just saying that i believe God has a plan for me.
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