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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

To start off things in our life have been hard to begin with.  we are low income and never seems like we get a break.  as soon as we start to make more something happens were we have to spend it all on a home or car or something repair.   it always seems like we are stuck where we are.   I got pregnant while on bc and bfing.   The first few weeks I hated the fact.   But after that we got excited and started trying to figure out how we were going to make it all come together etc.   but now things just took a turn for the worse.  So last week my daughter got really sick.   At the same time I started bleeding.   My daughter became borderline hospital stay at one point.   She was 22# and is now 19#.   She finally started feeling better this weekend.   I then had my miscarriage Sunday evening.   My husband had a bad cold all weekend but took over and was taking care of all of us amazingly.   Mon morning at 1230am my husband started throwing up.  The baby was up every hour crying and I had to go in with her because my husband was so sick.  I of course was still cramping and light headed and all that so it wasn't fun.   This morning my son got in trouble and it escalated and the he went in his room and started yelling he hates me and only nano (my mom) loves him and he wishes he was with her and no me.   Now this is my mom that has nothing nice to say about me or to me ever,  that didn't even know about the pregnancy.   Now she has been calling and texting wanting me to call her and after this thing with my son I really don't want to.  About the same time my daughter started screaming and wouldn't stop no matter what we did. So I took her to the store.  we went to the store to return something's and they told me I opulent because I had some sort of outstanding check or something....I don't even use checks!  So I called the number they gave me and they told me I have nothing on their records and to call this other number...so I did and got voicemail.   I then went to get my kids Easter stuff and got up to  paying and my account was $3 short.  I had cash but I didn't know how short it was and if I had been able to return those other items I would have had enough money.  So I had the lady back all my bags.  Got home and found I had handed her the bag of stuff I was trying to return!!   I don't understand why God hates us so much!   he won't give us a break or anything GOOD happen.  I not for us then for our kids!  They haven't don anything!   I'm just so worn out and tired and giving up n God.  I have no body here that cares and no one to help.  

Married the Love of My Life 9/7/02
Jency Paul Douglas 6/30/05
Tesher Robert Walter 12/31/08
Zerah Janae Lyn 3/26/12
Angel babies edd 10/22/08, 11/8/11, 10/20/13

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:02 PM
Replies (11-15):
Artillwife01
by Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 7:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm really sorry. I'm also in that place where I feel like nobody cares. The family members I deal with don't think we should have more kids so they really don't think our losses are the end of the world. Then I come on here to vent and at least feel some understanding and TWO people reply. I really understand feeling alone and sad. I really hope things start falling into place for you soon.

Schaiswife09
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Well I was definitely angry. It took me a while to admit it but I definitely was. And I was and still am a totally different person than I was before my last loss. Each loss changed me and the most recent changed me the most. I am no longer sure about anything. I am finally able to be happy again but it definitely took some time.

Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

I don't feel angry at God. I just hate that God gets mentioned so much after a loss by other people. They will remind me to keep going to church or be prayerful...or they will tell me God had his reasons....I always have to take a step back and think when someone mentions "God"....and make sure I'm not angry...and I'm not...I don't feel any anger towards God. I really don't feel any anger at all. Just sadness really. Sadness, confusion, and shock. I'm a happy person normally though. I smile 24/7. So, it's hard not to be happy. But I'm certainly not angry or at least I'm not at the point where I can admit it if I am. 

I dont' want to be around anyone in my "old normal" at the moment. I'm trying to decipher this "new normal" and all my focus is on that.....so I'm trying to put into place things from my old into my new....a fresh start...I can be renewed. 



Quoting Schaiswife09:

I understand that i didn't want to go to church either after my most recent loss. I felt i couldn't give thanks to God or be around a bunch of people that would ask questions and i also didn't want to deal with all the I'm sorry's. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. I definitely can relate. Just remember God still loves you even when ur angry. Hugs!



Quoting Happy_Mcboobs:

So, I guess you didn't have to go to the hospital after the m/c?? You must have been very early I guess? (saw your other post)....that is a good thing to not have to go to the hospital.... I mean, it's sad, but at least you don't have hospital bills on top of everything else...small & well, not a good thing but a good thing if you know what I mean. (I'm an optimist) 

I'm sorry....it is easy to be mad at God during rough times but He doesn't give us more than we can handle. So it's good to vent out some frustration! I don't like people mentioning God to me at the moment. I just can't handle it....I lost my baby, the last thing I want to think about is "how I should pray" "or still go to church" "or God has a reason", etc, etc... :( 

Hugs! Vent away girl! We're here for you. 





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Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:42 AM

woohoo! Two comments!

You have to find the happiness in just those two comments than! It stinks when no one replies... I've had a blog for years and it has it's ups and downs...I've had the popular phase and than most of the time, I have the two comments and I'll go read someone who gets 50 comments DAILY! Thing is...those 50 comments are the same day in and day out. That person doesn't get honest feedback. They get "you are a trainwreck and I come here to give you happy-happy comments because of it"....where as my two comments are honest feedback. It still hurts, but which would you rather be? Someone that people can be honest with or someone who only has followers because you are a trainwreck? 

Sort of different here since we all need support. You can always ask for PM's if you need support other than public posts. It is nice to have someone to text if you have texting capabilities. They may not always text back right away but at least you have someone to send a thought out too who will understand. It's a little weird that you don't really know them but it's nice anyways.


Quoting Artillwife01:

I'm really sorry. I'm also in that place where I feel like nobody cares. The family members I deal with don't think we should have more kids so they really don't think our losses are the end of the world. Then I come on here to vent and at least feel some understanding and TWO people reply. I really understand feeling alone and sad. I really hope things start falling into place for you soon.



Happy_Mcboobs
by on Mar. 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM

I could be angry deep down. I just don't feel angry at the moment. I'm not typically an angry person though. Sure, I can get pissed off but I have never been one to stay angry. I scream it out and it rolls off. This is different though. I'm definitely changed. I'm learning my "new normal"....it's a process...and I'm so early in still, I'm too sad to really think about any other emotions. I check myself though. Especially when someone makes a comment--I'll be all "am I not going to church because of anger?"...and I don't feel anger...I just feel sad....I'm sure anger is one of those steps in the process...i'm not has happy as i used to be already... I'm definitely changed... :( Thanks. 


Quoting Schaiswife09:

Well I was definitely angry. It took me a while to admit it but I definitely was. And I was and still am a totally different person than I was before my last loss. Each loss changed me and the most recent changed me the most. I am no longer sure about anything. I am finally able to be happy again but it definitely took some time.

MommaBoop922
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:05 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss and troubles. We have been having a rough couple of months too. All you can do is take it one day at a time and push through the rain until you find that rainbow. ((Hugs)) you're in my thoughts and prayera
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