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today (preg mentioned)

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:08 PM
  • 25 Replies
Today I am 19weeks pregnant. I was 19weeks the day I delivered Lily. I thought I'd I could do this, I thought I was gonna be okay. I thought I would feel a huge relief at the end of today...but I don't. All along I have felt like this baby was gonna be okay-and now today I feel like there is no safe time. People want to "buy stuff" and hang up her curtains in the new house..what if it doesn't work? I would have to take the curtains down and pack up the same crate of girls stuff again. People say stupid stuff-like just rest, or its good that I quit work because of the stress...putting my feet up won't fix chromosomes if something is wrong. You know that moment when you have talked to every medical specialist and feel like you have the answers..and then realize you didn't ask the most important question. With our chromosome defect, our babies will either be normal and live, or die before birth (few make it after birth and they die shortly from numerous problems) so that being said, at my 20week anatomy scan, wouldn't they see those "numerous problems"? If a baby has so many problems that none ever live, I mean, those kinda things would be seen on ultrasound right? I just want to feel normal. I just want to decorate a nursery without thinking I might have to take it all down. I keep saying I won't decorate or buy anything big until 30weeks but even that doesn't feel safe right now. I just thought I was doing ok and holding it together...but I'm not, not today
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by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gingerprincess
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:12 PM

I'm so sorry! Yes, they should be able to see any defects at your ultrasound. They knew my son had club foot just by the ultrasound, they can usually see everything, I've even seen them see things that cleared up later, because they are looking so closely. When my SIL was preggers with my youngest niece they saw spots on her brain at the ultrasound, but at the follow up they were gone, she'll be 3 in 10 days, and she's perfectly healthy. You'll be in my prayers! <3

chicaespana2003
by Steph on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:29 PM

I cannot relate to what you are going through. I've never been in your exact shoes. I understand your nervousness to put the nursery together. I sense that you want to do something in that room, but you don't want to do something and regret it "IF."

I don't have answers, my suggestions are mearly so, and even they may be too much.

I suggest that you put up curtians that you like, that fit your personality, your likes, that comfort you. Additionally, make the room your little get away room- a place to clear your mind (even though you know what this room is supposed to be). Or make it into a room that is welcome to others (ie your SO). The room is yours until it is needed. Even if you decide not to prepare the room for it's intended use, I'm sure putting up random curtians or blinds, might make the room more private (especially if peeping toms are out there- but I don't know that).

You are doing great. You are being the best mama you can be. You are a wonderful mama!

Herlache
by Jessie on Apr. 19, 2013 at 3:35 PM
I am sorry today is the day lily passed! I know I was early with my mc but we were so excited we started buying diapers and stuff for the baby. Then we gave it all away. Stupid I know but I didn't think I would get pregnant again so soon. If at all. They should be able to see something at the scan. If there is anything but there is only going to be a big healthy baby! Fx for you mama! (((HUGS)))
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mommyofnoah208
by Melissa on Apr. 19, 2013 at 5:40 PM
Praying for you, i know its so hard. You will need to be holding your sweet baby before those feelings go away totally. I didnt do much until after 30 weeks but also was still scared. / never felt safe because of my blood clotting issues and preterm birth issues. I hope your ultrasound brings you lots of comfort and reassurance. Its ok to be worried, but its also ok to still be hopeful and excited and do the things we should beable to do blissfully. Enjoy as much as you can. Thinking of you lots and your little baby. Also sorry this is a hard milestone with Lilys birth :(
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Focused_Mom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 7:09 PM
I'm really sorry! I can only imagine the pain your feeling today. I hope you can find peace and be able to enjoy this pregnancy.
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Irene1923
by Tina on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:56 PM
I am sorry. I know how hard it is to make those committments because of the "what if" doubts. I hope passing this milestone and seeing a healthy little one on your ultrasound will help ease your worry. Thinking of you.
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Kimbo78
by Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 8:59 PM
So sorry this is so hard for you. I would suggest talking to someone about how you are feeling. That always makes me feel better.
Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:23 PM

 Hugs sweetie!! I am sure they will be able to see something on the u/s if something is wrong. But I am sure its not. I am positive that you and I are going to bring home healthy babys, yours in 21 weeks and mine in Oct.

Hugs.

 BabyFruit Ticker
cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:32 PM

((hugs)) i'm sorry today has been such a hard day for you.  And like the other ladies said if there are any problems they should be able to see them on the u/s but do your best to stay positive hun.

nicoleeoh
by Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:28 AM
Hoping the days become easier & more positive for you...
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