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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Makayla's Story ~ For those who have asked

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:40 PM
  • 31 Replies

Insead of posting this over and over I am just going to put her story here. 


It all started when I was visiting family in Oklahoma. Me and my husband were trying for another baby after our miscarriage in Nov. 2011. I was feeling off and just feeling pregnant. So i went to the store and got a test. On March 26th 2012 I got those 2 beautful pink lines! It was midnight when i tested and because my husband works all over for an oil company, i texed him the picture saying we did it!! I was so nervous yet so happy! So excited! As soon as the 12 week mark passed I thought i was in the clear. I didnt know how wrong i was.


Aug. 9th I found out i was having a girl!! I cried when i saw her moving around, making the ultrasound tech. have a hard time getting measurments. Seeing her perfect beating heart i thought everything was perfect! Then on Aug. 17th I headed up to the hosptial after cramping and having lots of lower back pain the night before and all though the night. Her heart rate was in the 50's. They told me they needed to deliver her right now. I was at the hospital by myself freaking out. I had nurses, dr.s, the anaesthesiologist all in my little PSU room. it was so crowded in there. I kept crying, telling them I couldnt loose another baby. Then right before they moved me to the OR I had someone call my mom to get up there. The anaesthesiologist is the one who made the call. I will never forget her words. She said "this is the anaesthesiologist from Via Christi. Im here with your daughter Jessica. Something is wrong with the baby and we are taking her to surgery." I didnt even hear her say bye but she told me my mom was on my way up. It was to late though. They were preping me on the way to the OR. By the time my mom got there I was already in surgery. My mom called my husband who was 3 hours away at work. By the time he got to me I was being let go from the recovery unit. 

They let me go and see her before taking me to my room. As soon as i seen her I knew she wasnt going to make it. How could someone that small surive? I had given birth at 24 weeks 5 days. The nurses gave me some hope. They said she came out screaming and was breathing on her own. But they also said that she is very little. That lasted 2 days. Then she started to get sick. She had a level 3 brain bleed which lead to a stroke and seziures. I was so heartbroken. So very scared. They now had to be her breathing. She went into cardic arrest a few times. Aug. 20th we had her baptized. It was really important that she was baptized. The Father who came and baptized her, just looked at her and he knew. My sister has her baptizem on video and you can just see the look on his face. My husband had went down to the gift shop and got her a angel that says the now i lay me down to sleep prayer and a rosery. we had the Father bless the angel and rosery then the nurse sealed it in a bag and we placed it in her incubator right above her head. My husband said now she has an angel watching over her. About 24 hours later she had another brain bleed. A level 4 brain bleed and her kidneys had shut down.  So on Aug. 21st me and my husband made the hardest desision we would ever have to make. Do we take her off life support or keep her going. We knew it was time to let her go. The NICU let us call people first. We had family and friends meet us up there. The preist said her last rights. Then they handed her to me, where she passed away in my arms at 9:40am. We all walked down to my room where everyone got to hold her and say goodbye. They let us stay with her as long as we wanted. At 3 that afternoon Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep came and did pictures. She treated her like she was still alive. That she was a person.  Around 5pm we finally went home. I didnt want to leave. I felt if i held onto her she was still here, she wasnt gone. Leaving the hospital without my baby, knowing that I would not return to see my baby in the NICU was the hardest thing I had ever done. 


Wife to Donald for 6 yrs (Annver. 12/30) and mommy to 6!

Jason 6, Alexis 5, Catelynn 3, Ethan 2 and 2 angels. Baby Fletcher lost to MC 11/13/11 and Makayla lost to premature labor at 24 weeks 5 days 08/17/12 - 08/21/12

You may have left my arms but you will never leave my heart! 

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mieshia78
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:13 PM

So sorry for your loss she is a beautiful baby!!!

Herlache
by Jessie on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:27 PM
I'm so very sorry! ((HUGS))
uriahadel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:04 PM
I am so sorry! I can't even imagine having to go through what you went through
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gingerprincess
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:13 PM

I'm so sorry. My little boy passed away 2 months ago. He was 5 weeks from his 5th birthday, and I felt the same way, I did not want to let go of his hand. When they pried his hand from mine I had a panic attack and thought I would never survive. I remember hearing screaming and then realizing it was me, I was not part of myself, I was looking at myself and I though, "You're not coming back from this". I felt my son still there with me then, at that point he was still there, holding my hand, and I was  not ready to let go. I know that he moved on after that, but I swear on my life that he was still there at the moment that they made me let him go. It was the worst moment of my life. The second worst moment of my life was when I found him in the water... I will never get that image out of my head. It will haunt me forever.

TwinkleStars918
by Amanda on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:16 PM
I'm so sorry. Reading this brought tears to my eyes.

My daughter didn't make it to NICU because she was too young, 21 weeks. She came out kicking and screaming also and then she was left to die. I refused to leave the hospital for a bit because I didn't want to say goodbye to my baby forever.

My goodness is Makayla beautiful though.
Schaiswife09
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:08 PM
I am so sorry:( my heart aches for you :'(
Schaiswife09
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss :( reading it makes me tear up. I can't imagine what you've had to go through. I will keep you in my prayers

Quoting gingerprincess:

I'm so sorry. My little boy passed away 2 months ago. He was 5 weeks from his 5th birthday, and I felt the same way, I did not want to let go of his hand. When they pried his hand from mine I had a panic attack and thought I would never survive. I remember hearing screaming and then realizing it was me, I was not part of myself, I was looking at myself and I though, "You're not coming back from this". I felt my son still there with me then, at that point he was still there, holding my hand, and I was  not ready to let go. I know that he moved on after that, but I swear on my life that he was still there at the moment that they made me let him go. It was the worst moment of my life. The second worst moment of my life was when I found him in the water... I will never get that image out of my head. It will haunt me forever.

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:17 PM

You're little girl is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. (hugs)

Happy_Mcboobs
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Oh wow!! :( I am so sorry...hugs...I can't imagine!! where did he drown if that is okay to ask.... ? 

I am fearful of anything happening to my living children! My 2nd almost drowned---we went to a public pool & she dashed away from me while I was lathering up her big sister with sunscreen. I was talking to my mom friend & thought she was still next to me.....in a crowded public pool with lifeguards & lots of mommies---my almost 2 year old was face down in proably less than a ft of water....I freaked when I saw her.....it couldnt' have been very long---I think that's why I don't care too much about having playdates after that....having another mom there would be nice but it takes attention away from my kids...I watch them like a hawk anyways---I am so freaked out when getting out of the car & at the pool.....every once in a while, I have a "I really want friends to join me" but mostly, I'm cool with just myself & my girls.....it hurt that no one seemed to even notice.....my friend was facing the direction of my daughter and she didnt' even watch out for her....I watch my kids & other kids....I'm that mom that watches out for other kids at the playground...I won't ever touch someone's kid....but I will say something if they are doing something that could hurt themselves....well, I was....I've met some brash moms who have asked for a fistfight when I've told their kids not to do something that they shouldnt' be doing....so I don't speak out anymore....I usually just get a security guard or leave....


Quoting gingerprincess:

I'm so sorry. My little boy passed away 2 months ago. He was 5 weeks from his 5th birthday, and I felt the same way, I did not want to let go of his hand. When they pried his hand from mine I had a panic attack and thought I would never survive. I remember hearing screaming and then realizing it was me, I was not part of myself, I was looking at myself and I though, "You're not coming back from this". I felt my son still there with me then, at that point he was still there, holding my hand, and I was  not ready to let go. I know that he moved on after that, but I swear on my life that he was still there at the moment that they made me let him go. It was the worst moment of my life. The second worst moment of my life was when I found him in the water... I will never get that image out of my head. It will haunt me forever.



Happy_Mcboobs
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Hugs to you! Thanks for sharing! 

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