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What do we do now? UPDATE

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 12:37 AM
  • 12 Replies

Hi all. I haven't really posted here lately. The last time I did I was kinda announcing my pregnancy. Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago we lost triplets. One sac barely grew anything, the second baby's heart stopped beating a little before 8 weeks, and finally at 9 weeks 3 days I went in for an ultrasound and "baby a"  no longer had a heartbeat. I chose to have a dnc so we could do chromosome testing on baby a and b. We just got the results back and for whatever reason there was only results on A. My little boy was chromosomally normal. I'm going into see my doctor on tuesday. I'm kind of thinking that both the samples came back normal and boys and maybe that's why there was only one result but who knows.

Anyways, this makes it my 4th miscarriage in a row, 6 babies I've lost. 5 of them we lost in a span of 9 months :( My husband said he can't do this anymore and after losing all triplets I agree. When I go in on Tuesday we're going to talk about getting my tubes tied. We're kind of stuck now. My husband is Native American and has no biological children. It is extremely important to me that we have a native american child. We've done research on native adoptions and it will probably not happen. Also a friend of mine offered to be a tradition surrogate for us which my dh hasn't decided he's ok with or not.

I don't know what to do from here. Part of me just feels like just stopping all of this. I have a dd from previous relationship and he has a son he's raising from a previous marriage. I'm wondering if it's time to just be grateful for the children we have separately and move on. I'm struggly with this because I am 24 but my husband is 37. His son is 12, my dd is 6. If we are going to have a child together we'd like to do it soon. The thing is the last year has been so emotionally exhausting.

I just don't know what to do anymore :(

So firstly, I wanna say thank you for everyone who posted and thank you to whoever featured my post! We made the decision to get my tubes tied before this last pregnancy. My problem with birth control is I have PCOS and my body does not respond well to birth control. Besides condoms which isn't an option, my choices for prevention are a non-hormonal IUD or getting my tubes tied. We haven't seen a RE because infertility treatments are not covered at all by my insurance. I had to have 3 mcs in a row before it would even cover chromosomal testing after a mc. I even had to pay cash for clomid. My Ob knows this so has been working around that and doing the best for us. I have decided that I'm doing a little more research before my appointment and seeing what other tests we can run. I don't know what my plans are yet but I figured I'd take your ladies advise and wait a little bit before getting my tubes tied. Again thank you! Also if there is anyone out there who just decided that your family has been through enough heartbreak and stopped please share your story! I don't know if I can take anymore heartache :(

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 12:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:01 AM
I am so very sorry for your losses. I definateky understand your fears and feelings, but I think you shouodnt do anything permanete right now. You are grieving and need time to decide. Praying for you
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 3:28 AM
i agree with pp. as hard as its been and all the heartbreak now is not the time to do anything permanant. talk to the doctor about others ways to prvent pregnacy now and maybe talk to a counselor too. give yourselves some time. i had 9 mcs before i had my 2 kiddos so there are miricles. so sorry for your losses ((hugs))
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by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:43 AM
I'm sorry for your losses! Hopefully the dr can find something out. Don't do anything permanent you just never know what the future holds. ((hugs))
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 5:47 AM
Huge hugs! Personally I took a long break from ttc after my last loss, but everyone is different. Are you having your doctor look into why you continue miscarrying?
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:52 AM

I am so sorry for your losses, and that you are going through all of this.  I really hate to see you getting your tubes tied so young.  You both have children from previous relationships, I'd assume that there has got to be some solution as to why this is happening.  We had a friend who suffered loss after loss for 10 years and finally they discovered she was basically allergic to him, so her body was fighting off his swimmers...anyhow, long story short, they gave her some injections over the course of a year, and they were able to have 3 children.  (((hugs)))  I hope you find a solution.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:31 AM

I'm so sorry for all of your losses. I'd let yourself take all the time you need to grieve before you make the decision on having your tubes tied. That's such a permanent thing. (hugs)

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 1:11 PM

I'm so sorry, I can't imagine....

I agree with the other ladies though, maybe prevent for a while and then decide, but don't do anything permanent. It's yours and hubs decision though, I wish you the best and peace of mind.

by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:04 PM

I am so sorry for your losses.  =(   For being in such a fragile state right now, I would wait to do anything permanent.  IUD's are a great form of bc that can last years to a decade and don't require daily schedules and you can start ttc soon after having it out.   


by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 6:15 PM
Hugs. I hope you figure out what will work for ya'll. Have you seen a specialist? I would wait to make any permentant choices..personally I had an IUD and loved it (after the first few months) and had great success getting preg right after removing it if you decide to ttc at a later date. Hugs and I'm sorry for all you have been thru
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 7:34 PM

bump for update!

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