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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Finding a new dr.

Posted by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:34 PM
  • 22 Replies

I have been very dissatisfied with my OBGYN.  

With my first pregnancy I found her okay.  When I was 8 months I came in stating I had a bladder infection.  I was told I didn't and was sent home.  I called multiple times and finally had an appt 1 month later.  Turns out I did have a bladder infection the entire time.  I went on maternity leave a month earlier than expected, as a result.

I went back for my 2nd pregnancy.  She now has very limited hours that do not work with my schedule.  At my 8 week appt I was told baby was measuring a week behind.  I was concerned and wanted to get in before 12 weeks.  No go.  Then I found out 4 weeks later I had a missed miscarriage just days after I saw her last.  She wasn't even available to do my d&c.

I have horrible cramping that lasts from O until after my period.  I am told it is cysts but that hasn't been confirmed.  This started the month I concieved and I feel that this may have had something to do with my m/c.

All of my friends see a male dr and I just can't do it.  I have googled like crazy and have not come up with much.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

by on May. 7, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
spedyg19
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:08 PM

I would definately being looking for a new Dr. if you are unhappy.  You spend to much time with your obgyn when your pregnant to be unhappy.  I am not sure where you are at but I live close to St. Louis and there are a couple female obgyns.  

Herlache
by Jessie on May. 8, 2013 at 8:27 AM
1 mom liked this
I would definitely see a different dr. I would have a few choice words for your dr.
Angela4boys
by Angela on May. 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM

The only thing I can suggest is calling the hospital of your choice, and asking the Nurses in the L&D who their favorite doctor is...there is a reason that person is their favorite. 

I really feel like I want to go  with a Midwife.  Our state is not midwife friendly, at all.  I'm really considering going to a doctor, and secretly planning a homebirth with a midwife.  That is IF I can get one to take me.  My husband isn't all in, he is scared, but I do think he'd support whatever decision I made. 

Happy_Mcboobs
by on May. 8, 2013 at 8:47 AM

i can't see a male OB either. I don't know why--I went to female OB's after female since I was 14. I'm pretty happy with mine--she is a high risk OB and though I have never been high risk, I like the fact that I have an OB that "knows that business"---of course, being high risk vs me being a natural mama has it's butt head moments! She worries about that what if factor for me! She has never delievered me--she has always been out of town when I've gone into labor. I thought for sure she would do my D&C but when I went naturally the day before her on call day! Stroke of luck--I think that is sort of normal....

I saw my OB around the time my baby was lost too. :( I can't pinpoint the exact day looking back---but I went in for that last appt & the heartbeat was in the 140s...and I remember being worried sick daily since...like, deep down I just knew...a mother's intuition... :( Makes the guilt hard. The why hard. Because if we had only listened...maybe? 

If you want another female--well, I would find another female! I have to drive almost 30 minutes to my OB. A brand new hospital opened up literally 5 minutes from my house! I mean-I practically live next door. They weren't going to have maternity but they do. And I was so torn about switching OBs because it would have been super nice to be that close by! But the maternity ward doesn't have a NICU--so it's one of those what if....I'd have a 30 minute ambulance ride to the nearest NICU....you just never know.... it's hard... :(

blessedmommie07
by Desiree on May. 8, 2013 at 10:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I would definitely get another OB that actually cares and listens to you.  There are quite a few women OB's out there if you can't find them on the internet as your regular doctor or call a hospital L&D and ask.  Then you can call their offices and see if they are accepting new patients and takes your insurance.

momofcrazypants
by Leslie on May. 8, 2013 at 1:15 PM

Ugh. I would find a new doctor for sure. Are you having a hard time finding another female OB? Is that the issue? I can understand not wanting to see a male ob. I have a few friends who are like that and I totally respect that. I do see a male OB. I love him. He's great. And the OB that I saw for several years before him was a male as well. I didn't make an appt with the offices specifiying a male, it just worked out that way and I got lucky that I was really comfortable with them. Whether they be male or female, you having a good rapport with them is very important. If you feel like they aren't listening to you or taking you seriously, I'd find another one pronto. Life is short and these are very real issues that they aren't paying attention to.

If finding female OB is the issue, is there anyway you could see a midwife? Or a really good family practice Doc? Idk. Just throwing things out there. Or maybe even look in the next town over or something.

gcecelie
by Member on May. 8, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I had a female doc and my DH preferred her but after a stillbirth and bumping heads with her consistently, gender of my doc became little if any importance at all. Now all I care about are patient reviews and their history with high risk pregnancies.

I say get a male doc that comes highly recommended IF you cannot find anyone else.

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on May. 8, 2013 at 2:27 PM
Find a new OB honey and shop around before you actually need one. I went with my OB based on popular opinion and couldn't be happier. I like the call Labor and Delivery floor and ask about favorite OBs and also about female OBs. Just tell them you are new to the area. Most will give you an honest answer. My cousin is a surgical tech and constantly tells me who she likes and who she doesn't...and she favors females usually, she says they are more compassionate even when the patient is passed out. I will tell you, after a few losses, I couldn't do this without my OB. After a scare Sunday night, I txted her and she "paved my way" into L and D and stayed in contact with my nurse while there (she even remember facts from my prior loss and used them to help diagnos me over the phone because she was out of town). The next morning before her office opened she had txted me to see if I was feeling better and asked what time I would be there to see her. That kind of care might not be able to prevent another loss, but I feel like she will always be there for me and will do whatever she can. Find that kind of care and compassion-it makes this process a million times better. Hugs I hope you can find someone
Emma.seabourn
by on May. 8, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Talk to girlfriends. Ask people on Facebook. Anything! I also was in the same boat and just asked around and found one now That I love and trust! You really need to find someone that hears you out.
Emma.seabourn
by on May. 8, 2013 at 2:33 PM
Oh and ps...I was also TOTALLY against a male OBGYN but my girlfriend HIGHLY recommended hers and I caved in. He makes me feel much more comfortable than any female OBGYN I've ever had. If you are really looking you need to be open minded. I brought my hubby with because he was a little weary about a male and after he met him and saw how he treated me he said you aren't going anywhere else he's the best of the best.
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