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Opinions please! Update

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 5:29 PM
  • 14 Replies
As couple of things have been on my mind.
First with my loss and d&c in dec my baby was brought to a crematory and is resting in peace there. We can visit her anytime we want. But with this loss I can't get over the fact my baby got flushed down the toilet. Everytime I use the bathroom all i think about is I flushed it. If that dumb ass dr would have done the d&c my babies could have been together!
Second thing that's bothering me is I was so scared waiting for the worst to happen I never felt the connection with this baby. I'm not sure if it was a girl or boy. I want to name this one too but I don't know where to start? I wanted to be a dork and all my kids names start with a L. But not finding a gender nutural name I like.
OK ladies tell me what you think!

Update : I know it doesn't matter where the physical body is, but it's my brain thinking every time I go into the bathroom. It's going to take alot of time!
Names I like alot of them. I think I'm leaning towards laken its the name dh said no to naming a baby but since he don't care about our angels as he puts it I guess it's fair game. I'll keep playing with it for a bit.
Thanks ladies!
by on May. 29, 2013 at 5:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TwinkleStars918
by Amanda on May. 29, 2013 at 5:45 PM
Think of it this way, it doesn't matter where your babies' physical bodies are, their spirits are together in heaven.

As far as gender neutral names that start with L, I can only think of Lake.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Easternbluebird
by on May. 29, 2013 at 6:56 PM

Logan. Lee. Legend. Layton. Lyric. Lux. Lane. Levi. Lark. Laine.


I was terrified I had flushed mine until I actually passed the baby.  I kept thinking about it (I bled heavily for days with heavy clots and tissue clumps).  I told my husband I thought I had flushed the baby without even knowing it.  And he said that we would still say prayers and we could plant a tree in the baby's memory.  You can write a special prayer or a special poem for the tree planting. Or put a little angel statue in your yard.  Or a little bench.  I felt a lot better at the time when I thought about how I could get closure that way.  So think about a way you can give your self some closure and a place to grieve for this loss.

Easternbluebird
by on May. 29, 2013 at 6:57 PM

Oh and Lennie.

Angela4boys
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:08 PM
I want you to know I had the same regret... That I didn't have Payton cremated. I felt like I "should" have pathology done...and of course got no answer...and can't stand that I am sure he or she was discarded like medical waste...blah! Well... These are our earthly bodies, and I know that the babies spirit was in heaven before I delivered. I too felt the need or desire to name the baby and wanted gender neutral even though my gut feels like it was a boy. I just went on the Internet and found one I liked...and informed my husband after, lol.

So L...I will be back ;)
Angela4boys
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:31 PM
Lark, Leighton, Larson, Layne, Lane, Layton, Lee, Landry, Langely, (Laurel or Linden ...like the trees)
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on May. 29, 2013 at 7:32 PM
Hugs, my first baby was "medical waste" and it eats at me still that I didn't ask for her back. And I say her because I went with my gut feeling and named her Dani Jane but daddy said it pretty neutral if I don't add the Jane part. I like all the previous L suggestions, but I think Levi was my favorite. Or look up something like Greek gods or something and see if an L name with meaning or even an L word with meaning touches you. And even though there is no body, you could take something to the first baby's grave so they are together. Dani has a rose bush in a pot and Lily has a grave-one day they will be together. Hugs I'm sorry, I understand how you must be feeling
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on May. 29, 2013 at 8:17 PM
*hugs*
momofcrazypants
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:43 PM

I'm sorry. I have the same regret, minus the flushing part. Mine was sent off to pathology where they disposed of it as "Medical Waste". Nice. I regret it still very much. But I wanted answers. My answers were the same as yours, even with pathology included. Normal. (hugs)

I like Lark.

LilysMommy813
by on May. 30, 2013 at 1:22 AM
It's hard, I'm not comfortable with the fact that my first was "medical waste", this one ended up the same but I'm starting to come to terms that they were just bodies not my actual babies spirits. The "medical waste" gets incinerated so it is similar to cremation I suppose, back into dust to join the earth. It takes time but all body tissue will eventually break down and become earth again. I did bury one of my babies at a cemetery and I visit them all there. See if you local cemetery has a baby section where you can add you babies name to a remberence stone.
jae414
by Bronze Member on May. 30, 2013 at 10:58 AM
Hugs dear! I feel the same way. Including the flushing part, which most people don't know. I'm not 100% sure that's what happened but I think I did. And it has bothered me since. We named our baby Jordan Micah, but I can't think of any gender neutral names starting with L.
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