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Going see our priest today

Posted by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:07 PM
  • 13 Replies



Question: Did you seek support from someone other than you DH when you first found out about your loss?


No, I kept it to myself

No, only my DH or SO

Yes, my OB or midwife

Yes, a priest or spiritual leader

Yes, my close family and friends

Yes, I shared it with the world

Yes, I talked to a counselor or therapist

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 13

View Results

Yesteday, I officially found out my body is miscarrying my baby, even though I knew it in my heart when I started bleeding on May 26th. Well I didn't know what to do, so DH and I set up a meeting with our priest today to give us some guidance and support (he is the priest who married us, and he has known me since I was a little girl, so I feel very comfortable with him). I didn't tell my parents and siblings, and my DH's parents and siblings (they are the only ones who knew about my pregnancy) yet that I lost my baby. I feel like DH and I need some time alone first, but I will probably tell them before Sunday. I was just wondering who you shared the news of your loss with first (after you told you DH or SO)?
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:09 PM

 I talked on here, I talked a little with friends/family, but for the most part I didn't go for support anywhere. my dr tried to get me to go to a grief counselor and I would start dialing her number a few times to make an appt, but never did. I think it is good to talk with people not so closely part of you and probably should have. Thinking of you and hope it helps you

by Silver Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:11 PM
the day I miscarried with the day after Easter. I left the hospital at 6 o'clock in the morning. We napped for an hour. Then we went picked up a moving truck. I was leaving the only home I'd known for 20 years and all of my friends and support. I went over to a friends house where I was still in shock not completely aware of just how hurt I was going to be. I had too much else to focus on.later that evening my ex and I made a drive up to pick up my cats who were fostering with my brother at the time. That 2 hour car drive was brutal. We realized I wouldn't be able to make the trip across the country. My mom bought me a ticket so I could fly instead. Then I spent two days waiting for my then husband to catch up with me while I sat in the house full of people I didn't know how to talk to you.I wish I'd had somebody I could talk to you. Someone close he would know me so well. But I didn't. I hope your priest can bring you some comfort and your family as well.
by Silver Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:14 PM
Later I found this group and even met a dear woman on this group eho lives in the next town over. We met and takked and shared our losses and it was the singular most healing thing I had to get me on the road to acceptance and peace for my loss.
by Steph on May. 31, 2013 at 12:15 PM

I shared with my parents, espeically with my ectopic pregnancy because that one needed the most prayers, and thus my 1st church family knew about that loss. I have an older friend who lives across the street and I have told her about my losses. Other people I trust I've told- but I haven't fully posted my losses on FB (which would be the whole world).

by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:29 PM
I feel like I am still in shock/denial... Yesterday after my appointment, I went back to work and just felt numb until about 4pm, but I just held my shit together until I got home and I cried to myself in the bathroom for a bit, then I went talk to DH and cried with him for the rest of the night. Today on the way to work I started to get emotional, but I held it in and now I feel numb again. I don't know what to do or expect will happen when DH and I go talk to our priest, but I just feel like that is the right thing to do after someone passes away.
by Platinum Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:53 PM
I did it all in bits and stages I guess. With my first loss I only grieved with DH, my second was so quick I didn't grieve much, my third loss I just couldn't hold it together anymore. I grieved with DH, I openly cried to friends and some family. I finally went to couseling. I don't hide my loss, I tell strangers when the situation arises. It has helped to put it all out in the open. I am proud that you are seeking help, sometimes it helps just to say the words out loud and hear another person say "its ok to be sad"
by on May. 31, 2013 at 3:13 PM

just my DH & I....I didn't really have anyone to talk too....I came here & found this group but other than that I haven't had anyone else to talk too about our loss. 

by on May. 31, 2013 at 4:03 PM
It's been different each time. The first time we had to tell the world because everyone knew we were pregnant, and I was really sick at the time. The second time only hubby and I...and my mom (because she had been praying for us) and step daughter (because she's 22, and was here visiting during we could hide it since I needed a D&C). The third time just hubby and I.

And each time... This group has been the greatest blessing
by Desiree-admin on May. 31, 2013 at 5:05 PM

I am sorry for your loss.  I shared with family and friends and then a counselor as well. 

by on May. 31, 2013 at 8:07 PM
Well our meeting went good. Before we went, DH went to the religious store and got a little cross with a baby angel, a garnet rosary (it would have been my baby's birth stone) and a St. Catherine of Sienna prayer card (she is one of the patron saints of miscarriages) so he blessed them for us, and I think I will get them engraved. It brought me a lot of comfort to talk to someone about it other than my OB (she is lookin at it from a medical point of view, but she is very compassionate about it) and someone other than my DH who is hurting just as bad as I am. Of course our priest didn't give us an "answer" or an "explanation" but he tell us stories from his life about his sisters going through the same thing. He also prayed with us and said he will lift us up in his masses this weekend. He suggested we name our LO. My DH said we should name our baby the girls name we choose because I thought it was a girl. He said that if I have remains of my baby he will do a service for us. He also suggested we should get some kind of memorial or way to include the baby in our lives. (he referenced that he has an angel statue for his brother who passed away when he was 5) He said that now I have the best angel watching over us. He was worried that we didn't tell our families yet, I just don't feel ready for that, I still feel like I'm in shock. I'm still not ready to have people try to comfort me like I know they will. But after we met with the priest DH and I went buy a box for me to put all my mementos of our baby in, like the BFP, the baby shoes I bought, and the shirt I got for DH that says #1 Dad on it. I also bought online an angel baby book to put all my memories and ultra sound pictures in.
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