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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Sweet Baby Ella (My story)

Posted by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM
  • 27 Replies

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In September 2011, a week before my birthday i found out that we were expecting baby #5. Although she was not planned we were thrilled, Our kids were especially excited! Everything went smoothly and i only suffered with acid reflux but that was normal for me. I felt like out of all 5 this was the easiest pregnancy! My EDD was May 28th. On May 26th (Saturday) i went to my sisters outside graduation and it was really hot that day but i made sure to bring lots of snacks and waters. On May 27th (Sunday) we drove to my sisters house for her graduation party. We weren't there for too long before i started to get really dizzy and i just didn't feel good. I called my midwife and told her that i thought i may be dehydrated. So i left the party and went to the hospital to check things out. It was around 7pm that we were there and they had me on the monitors and i forced down lots of fluids. Ella was great on the monitors, very active still. I was sent home and i went to bed shortly after that. The next morning i wake up and it's my EDD!! Despite feeling crappy from the weekend i physically felt ok and i remember my FB status that day about how i felt like i could go another week and that was not normal for me, I'm usually miserable at that point! I went about my day and got alot done. I went to the laundromat and organized everything at home. The babys bassinet was ready and her car seat and hospital bag were by the door. That evening around 7 i put my girls to bed and finally laid down myself when i realized that Ella had not moved all day. There was a leg (i assume) that had been poking out my belly in the same exact spot all day. So i called my midwife and explained to her what was happening. She told me to go to the hospital. I hadn't told my hubby what had been going on because i didn't want to freak him out. So i told him i was driving myself to the hospital for an NST and i would be home after. It wasn't until i was almost to the hospital that i started to really worry. I get checked in and up to the monitoring room and settle in. Then my nurse comes in (who looked about 8 months pregnant herself) to hook up the monitors. As soon as she hooked it up there was nothing there. She told me not to worry cause sometimes they are hiding. I knew that wasn't normal at 40wks!!! She searched and searched and there was nothing. At this point I'm calling my hubby freaking out, telling him to get there fast. At this point I'm still holding onto hope that maybe things were ok, there had to be somesome explanation. Soon the small room we were in was filled with people, my midwife arrived first then the doctor. They brought in ultrasound machine and the room went silent. I was staring at the screen when he said the most horrible thing I've ever heard. "I'm sorry, i have bad news..." Then hepointed to the screen and don't remember much except throwing up allot and feeling like i couldn't breathe. I just wanted to die. I was them brought back to a labor room and we started the induction. I was given cervadil overnight and in the morning i was started on pitocin. That afternoon my sweet baby Ella was born sleeping. She was 9lbs 3oz and 21 inches. She was baptized shortly after. Our family filled the small labor room and we all got to hold her and kiss her. She was perfect. She looked just like her big sister Sofie! Around 930pm we said our goodbyes and the nurses wheeled her away.

To this day I'm still so hurt and confused because we will never know why. Why did her heart just stop?? She was perfect just 24 hours before!! The hardest part is not having an explanation :/
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 4:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Herlache
by Jessie on Jun. 10, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Oh my I was crying reading this! She is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. Did they give any possible reason. A knot in the cord... Ect. ((hugs))
Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 5:00 PM

 I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby Callie at 20 weeks. I can't imagine carrying her another 20 weeks and then losing her. I felt so robbed as it was seeing her legs grow long and knowing her resting patterns.

I am just so very sorry for your loss.

KaRaBaSsEtT
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Thank you. There were no visible signs of anything like that. The only thing she mentioned as a possibility is that maybe the baby pinched the cord long enough to cut off oxygen but there were no knots or tangles anywhere. It's absolutely heartbreaking to have no reason :/

Quoting Herlache:

Oh my I was crying reading this! She is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss. Did they give any possible reason. A knot in the cord... Ect. ((hugs))
cjsix
by Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 5:16 PM

 huggingHugs Momma....she's beautiful!  I'm so sorry.

mommyofnoah208
by on Jun. 10, 2013 at 5:55 PM
I am so very sorry. Very heartbreaking. Praying for you
momofcrazypants
by Leslie on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:03 PM

I'm so very sorry. She is beautiful.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jun. 10, 2013 at 7:48 PM

My heart just breaks for you and I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful angel hun ((hugs)) and I am sorry you never got the answers as to what happend either.  

iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:39 PM
She's so beautiful. I am so sorry honey
ILoveMyFam
by Member on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:50 PM

I am so sorry, my heart hurts for you.  Your baby Ella is a beautiful little girl. 

wife-4-life
by Shannon on Jun. 10, 2013 at 8:57 PM
I'm sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family. I can't imagine.
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