Do you get very angry and hold resentment....
At those who get pregnant and stay pregnant without a problem and you felt like they didnt "deserve" it?!?! Sounds mean I know but I look at some who didnt take care of their pregnant bodies and have no problems. Or those that have abused their other children ( or worse ) and go on to have more kids. I could say so many examples but I am sure you get what I am saying. I have a friend whom I love dearly but shes done some not so honest things - ( cheated on hubby plus so much more) shes lied to many, manipulated many and she got pregnant by accident to her new boyfriend. Those kinds of things just shows me that the liars and cheaters "win". i try to live a good honest life and well....you get my point. But I see stuff in the news that makes me so angry- so sick that I get hateful. And thats not me. And I hate when people tell me "you are blessed with what you have" anyone that has infertility issues and / or had a loss KNOWS full well if they currently have kids they ARE blessed they know this better than anyone, but its not wrong to want another blessing. I have so much empathy for those that do have it worse or who have gone thru worse and I will always try to help where and when I can but its not wrong to still want my desires either. My Mom told me "you have a lot on your plate maybe now isnt a good time and God knew that" So to that I say " theres no one else out there that has a lot in their plate too , maybe more than I do? Sure there are but they get their blessings. There are so many good women that should not be going thru what we are or have went thru - and just dont deserve to go thru this kind of pain but there are total losers who - some do not even want kids but they get them. Its mind boggling to me. Sorry for the rant- all of this is so fresh for me right now, 2 losses in 5 months and tomorrow marks 10 years since our first loss. Thanks for listening to my rant - feel free to blow off steam ladies - no judging :) sorry for typos Im on my iPad :)
Mother of 3: 20, 3, & 7
"Every person faces difficulties throughout their life. Despite our circumstances, and with God's help, we can choose to be better instead of being bitter."