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giving our baby a name

Posted by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 8:52 PM
  • 4 Replies

We lost our baby almost 6 weeks ago.  I was 20 weeks.... just getting to the time for the "big reveal" ultrasound.  We were actually not going to find out the sex of the baby... we wanted to be surprised.  We had two names picked out already both starting with an M so we called our baby M for short.  When I developed an infection after the emergency cerclage was put it and it had to be removed and our baby was born stillborn they asked us if we wanted to know what the sex was.  We said no, thinking the not knowing would be easier somehow... we also never saw our baby before cremation.  I have now decided that the not know is too hard.  We are going to call our MD and found out the sex and we are then going to name our baby (because every baby deserves a name).  My husband doesn't want to use one of the names we had picked and wants to choose a new one... I do understand where he is coming from, we worked really hard to pick and come to an agreement on the names we picked out and he wants to save them for thefuture.  I, however feel that one of the names we had chosen belongs to this baby regardless of the fact that she or he is now in heaven and not with us.  We have some more talking to do and I know we will come to an agreement.  We have also yet to discuss what we want to do with our baby's ashes.  This is still so hard for me... I have good days, but there are still times, things that set me off and I cry and/or get really sad... I should still be pregnant and getting ready for my baby shower... which was scheduled to be in two weeks.  Instead i just feel sort of empty and like a failure.

Thanks for listening.

by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 8:52 PM
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Replies (1-4):
Kayla2013
by Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs momma. I agree with you about the names. That you worked hard to pick a name for this baby. Go ahead and give it to the baby.

Dh and I lost our baby July 25th at 7 weeks. We were lucky enough to find out it was a boy and we gave him the name we had picked because it was "his name".
mommyofnoah208
by Melissa on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:37 AM
1 mom liked this
Thinking of you. We used the name he would have had if he were born safely. Thinking of you and hoping you come to an agreement that makes you both feel close and comfort to your baby
cjsix
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 12:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 Hugs Momma....find out if you can whether your sweet angel was a boy or a girl and give them their name. I am so sorry they are not here with you.

Angela4boys
by Angela on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm glad you found out the gender.  I agree with you about the names...one of those names belong to your baby.  You've already done the hard work, you associated the name with your baby.  Good luck with hubby (((hugs))) 

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