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11weeks and miscarrage :(

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 4:01 PM
  • 14 Replies

I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I had been trying for a year to get prego! I almost gave up and thought I could never have children, and the week I decided not to try anymore I was Pregnant!

I had my 1st ultrasound at my 8th week, I was 8 weeks 4 days when I had my appointment, the baby had a healthy heart beat of 150 BPM and appeared to be growing healthy. So after finally conferming we told everyone, Friends, Family and posted it all over Facebook. We were so excited, my doctor told me I could still continue to exercise the way I was before.. Jogging, swimming and lifting Light Weights. I just did the right thing and cut out all booze and the foods you cannot have while pregnant! I even had a nicknme for our baby "Peanut" I didn't want to call him or her an It so we refferd to the baby as Peanut :)

I had some stressaround week 9 with my bank.. I had my own new buisness I started up from home making jewelry and bags, and my bank convinced me to open up a buisness account and have a mercant services account to accept credit card payments, but what they didn't tell me was all the fee's associated with the Credit Card reader device and the set up activation fee. Mercant services ended up taking EVERY Penny I made all in fees and my little buisness went bankruped and I had to close it down.. but to cancel it they wanted a cancelation fee of $1000.00 Yes One-Thousand Dollars! I didn't know I was pregnan when I started my buisness, and when I did finally find out it was in my ninth week that the stupid bank started doing this all to me. I tried to get them to work with me and have them cancel everything and allow me to make payments on the $1000.00 cancelation fee but they said I had to pay it in Full! I said forget it, you not getting a dime from me... let it go to collections I'm not paying it. The Bank manager was willing to work with me on this and make a deal with them, she talked to another Merchant servises rep and got it all handeled where I was able to not pay anything but I would not get any money refunded from what they took. I was fine with that as long as I didn't have to pay the stupid $1000.00

But little did I know at that time the baby was already gone! I know I'm told not to blame anyone or feel it's my fault.... but If I really want to blam someone for my loss.... I blame Bank of America and Mercant Services! They put so much stresss on me that week no wonder my baby died!

I didn't know that Peanut was gone at this time.. and I still had 3 weeks before I had my 2nd ultrasound. I was so excited I even bought an App on my phone to track each stage in my baby's development! I made a beautiful baby blanket, and bought two onsies that could be for a boy or a girl :) I was so excatic and overjoyed to be pregnant I had so much planned out for our baby. Homeschool for a few years, teach Peanut to cook, sew, garden, play music, everything... I was adding fun kids activities to my pinterest, and my husband bought me $300 in Maternity bump start clothes! I sold all my Expensive Silver Jeans that didn't fit me anymore so I could spend it on Maternity Clothes and Baby Clothes!

So Yesterday we had the Sad appointment. I had a sad feeling while I was there... in the back of my mind I already knew something was wrong and the baby was gone.. but I didn't want to belive it. The doctor used a sound tool to try to find the heart beat, and when she couldn't find it she did a on the belly ultrasound to try to find the baby... but could see nothing.. this worried her because at 11 weeks she should have seen something... so she did a vaginal ultround and found the baby, Peanut was a little bigger than the 1st ultrsound at week 8 but there was no heart beat, and the doctore confermed Peanut died at week 9!

I was so sad... I kept asking are you sure... you can't find the heart beat.. i didn't want to belive it... I was hoping Peanut was just being difficult.. but Peanut was gone.

I have to have a D&C tomorrow morning to take Peanut out, it's so hard for me, Peanut is still inside me and I have to go around all day and work trying to not cry knowing Peanut is still there but Dead!

I don't relly Blam the Bank for my loss but I'm not happy with the stress they put me through... In fact Bank of America will not be my bank anymore.. I'll be taking all of my money out and finding a new bank to do my buisness with :)

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 4:11 PM
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hugs.  I am so sorry for your loss honey.  Blame is part of the grieving process.  We are here for you whenever you need to talk, we have all been through it.  Its important to grieve.  I am sorry about Peanut.

by Amy on Sep. 19, 2013 at 6:50 PM
1 mom liked this

((hugs)) i'm so sorry for your loss hun.

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 7:36 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss.  Missed miscarriage are so difficult because it feels like we should have known.  I had the same thing happen to me.  I found out at 12 weeks that baby had stopped growing around 7 weeks.  I tried to have a natural miscarriage and ended up with a d & c 3 weeks later.  It is so hard in the beginning but things will get easier.  Hugs!!!

by Desiree-admin on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:43 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Stress is hard during pregnancy. I know you want to blame someone. We want to find any reason why we couldn't keep our precious angels.

I hope the D&C goes well and you can start physically healing. I know emotionally takes a long time and you'll never be the same.
by Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 9:46 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage almost 7 weeks ago, I was supposed to be 10 weeks, but was told baby died a few weeks earlier. I had my d&c and afterwards began to heal. I know it is hard carrying what's left of Peanut, but things will get better. This group has helped me alot. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to grieve the loss of your baby.
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry that you're going through this, you're in my prayers...

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:42 PM
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I had a missed miscarriage and a D&C and I referred to the baby as peanut. I hope all goes well and you get through this. Remember that it's ok to lean on there for support.
by Tina on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. My second loss was a missed miscarriage. It is natural to look for reasons and want to have someone or something to blame (we all want a reason). Hugs and I hope everything goes ok tomorrow.
by Angela on Sep. 20, 2013 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this

hugsHun, I'm so sorry this happened to you.  Losing a baby hurts so much, it's a pain like no other pain.  We're all here for you.  This group has helped me like nothing else, lots of support. 

by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 7:48 AM
1 mom liked this

Im so so sorry for your loss, my dear. Its the hardest thing a woman can go through. Missed MC's are hard too....I had one, and like you, heard the healthy heartbeat, only to find out my baby had passed. I should have been 8 weeks, baby died around 7 weeks. :-( I waited for three weeks to try and let my body take care of it naturally. Finally, three days before Christmas, I decided to go with the D&C. The good news? Its actually kind of healing. It was what I needed to start the grieving process. I hope it works the same way for you. I will be thinking of you..... sending love...

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