Hello everyone, I just signed up today because I thought it would do me some good to talk to other ladies that have experienced loss. I just found out this past monday that our baby had stopped growing. We had an internal ultrasound done last Monday due to spotting & cramping & the baby showed 5 weeks 4 days. I went back this Monday in hopes of hearing a heartbeat & they stated that the ultrasound showed even smaller than the week prior & I should have been showing 7 weeks plus at this point. Omg....instant devastation. I chose the Cytotec route because frankly the whole D&C thing freaks me out. So Tuesday I went through the 'process' and I've been home resting & bawling my eyes out since then. But here is the thing...the shock didn't hit me until Wednesday & I've basically been a basket case since. I don't want to get out of bed...I have no interest in interacting with others...I've never been depressed, but I'm assuming it feels very similar to this. I am newly married (my second) and I have an amazing 12 year old son from my first marriage. My husband does not have any children but has always wanted one...we are both 34. So even though this pregnancy was a bit of a surprise...we were ready to grow as a family. I thought I would be ok, I thought I would be back to work right away & functioning normally yet here I sit, falling apart over & over again over the course of the day. I'm assuming my hormones have me messed up the most...but I tend to think I'm a total badass that can handle anything thrown my way & I guess I'm starting to realize that one teenie tiny 5w4d baby had me wrapped around their little finger already. I'm not expecting for an overnight transformation or anything, but I just don't feel like I will ever be ME again. I have sucked up my pain for the sake of my son & I have been there every moment he has needed me this past week...but my relationship with my husband has been a nightmare & I'm tired of crying to the few family & friends that knows what is going on. So yeah...I'm feeling a little lost.