Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Need Advice

Posted by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:03 AM
  • 11 Replies

Things have been up and down. Some days I'm miserable. Dh best friend bascically his brother invite us to a ugly sweater party on the 28th. Dh showed me the invite list. They are all close friends. Each one of them have children and either are pregnant again or had their children a month or so after Nolan was born and left us. Dh is so excited but I'm dreading it. I don't no how I'm going to manage seeing everyone with their families and our one in only is not with us. Not sure what to do. I don't want to ruin everyone's night or make myself a mess either. If anyone has any advice. Or if they had to go through this what they did.


by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mylilprincesses
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
((Hugs)) to you!
mylilprincesses
by on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Honestly if you feel uncomfortable then don't go. It's not fair to you to set up your self with that.
Saydar
by Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

I want to second the advice to not go if you are uncomfortable.


Herlache
by Jessie on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

I stay away from people if I can. I know its not healthy but its what I have to do! ((hugs))

lovebugs_mom906
by Lisa on Dec. 17, 2013 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this
Here are my thoughts. My son turned 3 on August 13. I delivered my Jacob on August 14, and we had my 3 year old's party on the 17th. A week before we lost Jacob, my cousin had a baby girl, and she had been invited to the party. Everyone asked if we wanted to ask her not to come, and I said no. My thoughts were, that I wasn't going to be able to avoid babies and pregnant woman forever. And if I had to see one, it should be someone I love. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I held her, and almost cried, but it was almost therapeutic for me. It reminded me that good things still happen, and hopefully one day I would get my rainbow.
You know your limits, what you can handle and what you can't. If you really think it's going to be too hard, then opt out of going. There's nothing wrong with that. If you think you might be ok, then try and go. If it gets too hard, make an excuse to leave. Have you talked to DH about your feelings?
nolanquin
by Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 8:19 PM
I'm trying to be positive. I haven't talk to dh yet. I no he is at a different stage of grief. Part of me is worried he will be upset. He's been very supportive. I would be OK with the idea of trying to go then leaving if its to much, but its 2.5hrs from home..

Quoting lovebugs_mom906: Here are my thoughts. My son turned 3 on August 13. I delivered my Jacob on August 14, and we had my 3 year old's party on the 17th. A week before we lost Jacob, my cousin had a baby girl, and she had been invited to the party. Everyone asked if we wanted to ask her not to come, and I said no. My thoughts were, that I wasn't going to be able to avoid babies and pregnant woman forever. And if I had to see one, it should be someone I love. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I held her, and almost cried, but it was almost therapeutic for me. It reminded me that good things still happen, and hopefully one day I would get my rainbow.

You know your limits, what you can handle and what you can't. If you really think it's going to be too hard, then opt out of going. There's nothing wrong with that. If you think you might be ok, then try and go. If it gets too hard, make an excuse to leave. Have you talked to DH about your feelings?
nolanquin
by Member on Dec. 17, 2013 at 8:30 PM
Thanks for everyone's kind words. I sure everyone's had some tuff and emotionally difficult situation. Thank you. Hugs
marsh48433
by Lisa, Michigan mom on Dec. 18, 2013 at 6:53 AM

I completely agree with this :)  I am so sorry for your loss.  You know yourself better than anyone else, so don't push yourself but at the same time this advice is spot on in that you're not going to be able to avoid these situations forever.  Talk with your hubby, express this to him, tell him you really want to go because you know how important it is too him but it's going to be hard.  

I had a similar situation just two weeks after losing our son Owen.  The thought to not go never really crossed my mind honestly because it was a very close friend's party but it was hard and I did have to excuse myself a few times because it was a child's birthday party and they did this slide show from birth to present.....I left the minute I knew what it was because I simply couldn't keep it together.  I composed myself and was able to go back inside.....NO ONE had a clue.  I felt sad about that because I had just lost my baby two weeks prior to that but at the same time felt relieved that I didn't have to "explain" it.  HUGS!!

Quoting lovebugs_mom906: Here are my thoughts. My son turned 3 on August 13. I delivered my Jacob on August 14, and we had my 3 year old's party on the 17th. A week before we lost Jacob, my cousin had a baby girl, and she had been invited to the party. Everyone asked if we wanted to ask her not to come, and I said no. My thoughts were, that I wasn't going to be able to avoid babies and pregnant woman forever. And if I had to see one, it should be someone I love. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I held her, and almost cried, but it was almost therapeutic for me. It reminded me that good things still happen, and hopefully one day I would get my rainbow.
You know your limits, what you can handle and what you can't. If you really think it's going to be too hard, then opt out of going. There's nothing wrong with that. If you think you might be ok, then try and go. If it gets too hard, make an excuse to leave. Have you talked to DH about your feelings?


Angela4boys
by Angela on Dec. 18, 2013 at 8:19 AM

I don't have great advice....if it were me, and I wasn't comfortable with it, I wouldn't go.  You may need more time...and that's ok! 

Cal2006
by Bronze Member on Dec. 18, 2013 at 10:14 AM

 I agree with all of the ladies on here. Sometimes when I feel uncomfortable at parties, I either get tipsy so that I care less, or I sit somewhere and just let people come and visit with me. I purposedly avoided baby situations after my losses, but this isn't specifically a baby thing...it is an ugly sweater party...and maybe there won't be kids there.

The decision is yours though...

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN