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I wish people understood...

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM
  • 15 Replies
5 moms liked this


People act like we lost such a small thing....


by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CDW75
by Candi on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:48 PM
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I have really struggled with the "oh it's not a big deal" attitude I've gotten from people. It is a VERY big deal!!
blessedmommie07
by Desiree-admin on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:51 PM
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I know right. I don't how hard it is to comprehend that we dreamed and had plans for their lives. Especially find it crazy that other women who have had kids don't understand. I mean really! You felt that life grow inside of you and fall in love with them and started planning but can't understand how we mourn that when we loss a baby!

Irene1923
by Tina on Feb. 5, 2014 at 4:18 PM
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Especially with early losses, people seem to think it wasn't a big deal. Someone I know at work acted like their daughter's loss was so much worse since it was at 24 weeks, while mine was at 13 weeks. I was offering sympathy and her response was "you didn't know the gender and didn't feel your baby move so, you couldn't understand". I told her that I had the same dreams of a future with my child as her daughter did for hers. We make plans for the future the moment we find out we are expecting and losing those hopes and dreams is shattering.
Angela4boys
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Isn't that the truth! Seems nobody understands the magnitude of a miscarriage :(
Angela4boys
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 4:44 PM
I agree with you. It's what it means to you! That baby was everything (((hugs))). A life list is a tragedy, no matter the age.

Quoting Irene1923: Especially with early losses, people seem to think it wasn't a big deal. Someone I know at work acted like their daughter's loss was so much worse since it was at 24 weeks, while mine was at 13 weeks. I was offering sympathy and her response was "you didn't know the gender and didn't feel your baby move so, you couldn't understand". I told her that I had the same dreams of a future with my child as her daughter did for hers. We make plans for the future the moment we find out we are expecting and losing those hopes and dreams is shattering.
ambcortez
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 4:46 PM
1 mom liked this

It's definitely more than that. So much more. Nobody really understands unless it happened to them, and even then YOU are the only one who knows exactly how much it hurts.

mommyofnoah208
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 5:31 PM
I totally agree. Its like people just think you lost a pregnancy and then its over. We dont just grieve the weeks/months with our babies...your children are never supposed to die during our lifetime so we are grievng every moment of our life without the. So hard
lovebugs_mom906
by Lisa on Feb. 5, 2014 at 5:41 PM
I agree! I've lost 3 angels - 2 early losses and my son. They each brought me to heartache I wouldn't wish on anyone. I got the "I'm sorry" in the beginning, but then life went on like nothing ever happened. I had dream the other night that I was sitting with my mom and grandma. They were talking about their losses (my grandpa died last year, and my sister just after Christmas), and talking about how hard it was. I was bringing up my son, and they just looked at me like they had no idea who I was talking about or I was crazy. I just cried, "I lost someone too! Someone I loved desperately" and then I woke up. It's the way I feel though - like he didn't matter to anyone but me because he wasn't even born yet. But so many plans, dreams, visions of our lives - gone in an instant. It's not any easier to get over losing a baby than the death of any other loved one.
iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:46 PM

right, because love starts at that gender ultrasound... that's one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.  I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm proud you didn't smack her... I woulda

Quoting Irene1923: Especially with early losses, people seem to think it wasn't a big deal. Someone I know at work acted like their daughter's loss was so much worse since it was at 24 weeks, while mine was at 13 weeks. I was offering sympathy and her response was "you didn't know the gender and didn't feel your baby move so, you couldn't understand". I told her that I had the same dreams of a future with my child as her daughter did for hers. We make plans for the future the moment we find out we are expecting and losing those hopes and dreams is shattering.


iSMILEheCRIES
by Platinum Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:49 PM

Hugs, that had to be a hard dream.  My mom often looks confused when I mention Lily, I think its easier on HER if she pretends it didn't happen to ME

Quoting lovebugs_mom906: I agree! I've lost 3 angels - 2 early losses and my son. They each brought me to heartache I wouldn't wish on anyone. I got the "I'm sorry" in the beginning, but then life went on like nothing ever happened. I had dream the other night that I was sitting with my mom and grandma. They were talking about their losses (my grandpa died last year, and my sister just after Christmas), and talking about how hard it was. I was bringing up my son, and they just looked at me like they had no idea who I was talking about or I was crazy. I just cried, "I lost someone too! Someone I loved desperately" and then I woke up. It's the way I feel though - like he didn't matter to anyone but me because he wasn't even born yet. But so many plans, dreams, visions of our lives - gone in an instant. It's not any easier to get over losing a baby than the death of any other loved one.


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